Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts

Thursday, September 30, 2010

How to clean out my junk room

"soul cleansing"


How I did it: when i jumped over that broom, clutching my permanent boyfriend's hand, i knew that things would have to change drastically in my apartment because i had to turn it into our starter home. (we didn't live together before we got married. i don't believe in it, for obvious reasons.)

our new life as married folk would begin here, in my two bedroom harlem digs - quite roomy for city life (the apts are like that up here) but with a little organization and decluttering, it could be near-perfect for two.

the thing is, i kept putting it off - until my friend elaine came over for tea and bisquits a few weeks ago, saw my 2nd bedroom and vowed to roll up her sleeves and help me. what i had put off for years, we pretty much cleared out in a day. (and it was bad. really bad. so bad, in fact, that i honestly couldn't enter the room once i opened the door.) the rest i could handle myself - and i did, right away. the thrill of a clean, cleared out room was too intoxicating to put off any longer.) what little is left is a matter of daily maintenance and upkeep.

i'm a packrat. there's always something around for me to dig into and organize. but it doesn't have to clog things. not anymore.

now my permanent boyfriend calls it his comic book room, and some nights, he works in there. i had a rehearsal for a gig the other day with a pianist and the upright wooden piano, though slightly out of tune, was in fine form. so are the guitars that hang over it, patiently waiting for the next project.

the room is awake now. and in a way, some part of me is, too. here's the kicker - we have a bigger apartment.

do i owe elaine or what.


Lessons & tips:


  1. give yourself a time limit to get it done - and be realistic.

  2. please don't beat yourself up if it isn't done in time. just make progress, and keep making progress. the progress - that's your reward.

  3. get someone amazing to help you. they can keep you on track when you start to fade.

  4. don't get stuck in the minutiae. reading old letters, books and sifting through business cards and photos can easily derail you. keep it moving.

  5. don't make that big trip to ikea/hold everything/the container store until you de-clutter and see exactly what you've got.

  6. if you live in nyc, your storage unit should be your attic - not your 2nd bedroom. readjust your belongings accordingly.



Resources: Honestly - I got by with a little help from my friend.


It took me 2 days.


It made me grateful

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

the other old lady

once upon a time, there were three old ladies in my building that were a part of my mundane every day world in some way or another. all of them felt so familiar. i have no idea why.

the somewhat senile lady down the hall and her poodle are still there along with her niece/daughter/charge, although now there is a buppie couple across the hall from her with a small yappy dog, too. they moved into one of the newly renovated totally tricked out condo-like apartments that keep popping up when they boot someone else out of the building. so now, there's a lot of barking and scratching at the door that's happening in stereo at that end of the hall and i can't tell which dog is which unless i go over there and i don't want to go over there. i feel for her, in her twilight years, wandering through her gigantic apartment in her housecoat with her loyal dog at her ankles, wondering when her husband of more than 45 years is coming back from his errands. and he passed away several years ago. at least she has her niece.

and then there was mercedes, the lady in the window, the one who was always cooking something and always passing some of it through those child proof bars. dulce de leche, arroz con pollo, yicama, totones, bread pudding, empanadas, a beefy ox tail bone. delicious stuff. many was the day when i would head out the door and hit the subway with good food in my hand and my mouth because i passed her open window on the way out of the building. God, i loved her. she was like one of my aunts or my play momma or something. she put this coppery red rinse in her hair and she wore red lipstick and everyone congregated around her window -- the kids, the thugs, the fix-it guys. always giving my male friends the once over, giving my clothes the once over, giving me the once over -- and the third degree, in this really sweet way. i always baked her a cake on her birthday every year, and sometimes soups and stews which impressed her because she thought i was way too young and pretty to know how to cook. "you kids nowadays," she'd say. (*sigh...*) when i had some corporate wedding gig and they let me have flowers at the end of the night because they were just going to throw them away anyway, i would bring an extra bouquet just for her. oh, yes. this old lady had my heart.

well, they got her some months ago. it seems that she'd had tenants in her palatial three-bedroom apartment for the entire time that she'd lived in the building -- more than 25 years. she could stay and fight them in court or take a check and leave. she chose the latter. and why not? she already owned a house in the dominican republic and spent the cold months there taking care of her mother. i don't know why i'm still here, she mused when i came to say goodbye and take a picture of us. after she explained everything, she said that maybe she'd find love if she went home. a real boyfriend! how adorable was this little old lady, sitting at her kitchen table with me, totally independent and happy and surrounded by a big and loving family, and yet longing for a special someone. that conversation stayed with me for a long time.

it still feels wierd, to leave the building everyday and not yell at her window with what little spanish i know. for a long time, my body would shift in that direction automatically as soon as i swung the door open. and then i just felt a profound sadness shroud me for a little while as i would begin my day. would there ever be another little old lady to make mofungo just for me?

she's been gone since late last summer. i miss her every single day.

the third little old lady is shrouded in some mystery. what's apparent is that she's a tough old hide. she stood up to the building owners, their lawyers, the drug dealers that tried to do business in the lobby, and anything else that gets in her way. she likes me very much. i have no idea why. her apartment is directly across from the lady who is gone, so as i make my exit, i turn to the left now, to acknowledge her or at least to see if she is there. and she almost always is. someone is always standing at her window, drinking coffee and chatting. her apartment is cavernous and unlike mercedes, she never had boarders and she pays her rent on time, so they can't get rid of her. she has a yappy little dog too -- what is it with these annoying pesky noisemakers and why do they run to me? -- some sort of a chihuahua that attacks my ankles when i check my mail.

the thing is, she only speaks to me in spanish. she insists on it. i'm starting to wonder if she speaks any english at all. i understand what she's saying but it takes me ten minutes to make a sentence. i always have the appropriate greeting ready, though -- the old jews and all their many languages in that building on 86th street taught me that much -- and whenever i answer her, she's amused and somewhat impressed. and of course, that sends me running for my spanish phrase book. my trying to chat with her with what little spanish i know seems to make her happy. she tells me that my accent is strong and that if i learn spanish, no one would believe that i'm an american. she says i don't look american, anyway. she says that about my friend, too. actually, everyone says that about him. they think he's from scandanavia, from germany, maybe. anyplace but jersey. i told her the truth but she didn't believe me. then again, neither did mercedes.

maybe i feel so much for the ladies because i'm thinking, there but for the grace of God go i someday. i'm too much of a southerner to grow old here. i want old age to find me deep in the bowels of a swamp on a Sea Island, in a sturdy wide house up off the ground and near the water -- surrounded by gators, wild boar and indigo -- independent, in my right mind, eating fruits and vegetables from my own gardens and perfectly capable of taking care of myself. and still baking those pound cakes...

Sunday, December 14, 2008

hmm...

now that i think about it, i kind of have to:
  1. GET CABLE!
  2. sign up for a spring '09 biathlon or triathlon
  3. get more pictures taken
  4. have brunch at Prune. or dinner. or anything, really...
  5. bake a cake for my favorite girl at Barrio Chino (for Kwaanza!)
  6. get at least one more guitar lesson from Kelvyn Bell
  7. grow some paperwhites for my kitchen table
  8. NOT make new year's eve plans
  9. get ready to relaunch my website in january
  10. fast and pray

Thursday, December 11, 2008

stuff i have to do before the end of the year

i don't have much time, now do i? let's see now...
  1. get my upright piano tuned
  2. get some friends for my pet catfish fred
  3. run a mile in less than 8 minutes
  4. carefully edit all the clothes in my closets -- especially the vintage dresses and gowns
  5. finish a very rough draft of the jazz burlesque musical
  6. renew my museum memberships
  7. make a medical narration voiceover demo
  8. clear all the junk out of my second bedroom and scour my apartment
  9. spend all morning and most of an afternoon at my favorite day spa
  10. donate a ton of stuff to the salvation army

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

something from goodreads...

my goal is to read 100 books this year and blog about them on goodreads, so i can keep up with my bookshelf life. so far, i'm off to a flying start. we spend so much of our lives waiting. i figured out the trick: keep a book in my purse at all times, so that while i'm waiting for the train, waiting in line at the bank, waiting to see my doctor, waiting for that crosstown bus, i'm reading. in the past few months, i've finished quite a few books this way. this is one of them.

What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Lasting Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter's Life What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Lasting Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter's Life by Kevin Leman


My review


rating: 4 of 5 stars
i read this as a gift to myself for father's day, to give me some insight on my relationship with my father (which is actually pretty cool these days).



this is a smart book, an easy read, one that i would recommend to absolutely anyone, but it's especially a must for black men who are fathers. way too many women i know see fathers as just a paycheck. in many instances, they don't understand the importance of a father because they've never had one who had a strong presence in their lives. sometimes, even when he was physically present, he wasn't necessarily "there".



so why have a father that's especially involved with your daughter?



because according to this book, it is fathers who give girls their self-esteem/self-worth. girls get a sense from their fathers -- not their mothers -- that they're worth being loved. if the father isn't present in the girl's life to give her this, she will find a surrogate who will. this can mean lousy choices in love for the rest of her life. and of course, this cycle will perpetuate itself when it's time for her to have children.



kids are going to belong someplace. the question isn't whether they'll belong but where. a gang. a basketball team. a boyfriend/girlfriend. but they will belong.



some of it was a little too disney-esque for me -- like him crying his eyes out when one of his daughters left home for college/got married (yeah, he's a cryer) -- but on second thought, maybe the ideal situation needed to be presented so we'd see the male/father and female/mother roles in the home in their proper perspective.



yeah. a definite must-read.


View all my reviews.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

homeward bound

since i'm going to meet the rest of my friend's family this weekend at his cousin's wedding in pennsylvania -- and since monday is my birthday -- i thought i'd push play on this classic: simon and garfunkel at monterrey in '67.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

home away from home

i was way too busy shooting a music video in the middle of union square today for the title track of my CD "talkin' fishbowl blues" to blog about home -- so i thought i'd include some shots of the first scenario, which show me "at home" as a small fish in a very big bowl, surrounded by city life. i really loved the concept for the shoot and the way it unraveled the meaning of the song. everyone was so enthusiastic and full of ideas and eager to do a great job. it was a wonderful experience.

to read more about how it all went down, click here.

the opening shot
this is the opening shot.

on the set in the rain
this is john of london, england pretending to be bentley farnsworth.

director and cameraguy and me
this is the director and one of the cameraguys (both of whom are indonesian) discussing a shot.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

spitting image's version: "our house"

this is an irresistable UK spoof of the madness song "our house" from the oh-so brilliant and sorely missed spitting image. i included the lyrics for the sake of clarity.

i know it's about the housing market across the pond, but the situation is basically the same as what we're experiencing here. the economic/financial situations in each country all over the world are more interconnected than we realize.

one world government, anyone?



Dad believed what Maggie said
Get a mortgage buy a home
So dad took out a great big loan
For a while there we were chuffed
Now the market has collapsed
And we're absolutely stuffed

Our house, in the middle of a slump
Our house, no one wants to buy this dump

Dad is desperate to sell
But now our homes worth even less
Than a pension from Maxwell
Our living room's a mess
Full of magistrates and bailiffs
Trying to repossess

Our house, in the middle of the boom
Our house, it was worth a small fortune
Our house, left us in a dreadful state
Our house, why the hell'd we decorate

We really caught a cold
Nowhere we can go to now
All the council houses have been sold
Our dads taken some stick
He's still voting Tory though
By God he must be thick

Our house, didn't work out like we planned
Our house, prices dropped by fifty grand
Our house, threw us out and changed the locks
Our house, it is now a cardboard box

Monday, June 23, 2008

celebrate me home

for today's monday video selection, i thought this kenny loggins song would either really move you or totally cheese you out. let me know which feeling overwhelmed you first.




Thursday, June 19, 2008

unbelievable...

at first i thought this was some sort of a joke, but it's true: some italian guy sees his ex at a bar, drags her to his place and makes her do housework. (!!!) one can only guess as to what could be seen with a glimpse into their relationship window, especially if it revolved so heavily around her ironing his shirts. they need to convict him so he can go to prison and iron and fold laundry for the next 10 years.

the world is a very sexist place. i wonder how often this actually happens. a lot, i imagine -- they're just not telling it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man accused of kidnap to get ironing done
Italian man accused of kidnapping ex-girlfriend to get ironing, dishes done
Reuters
updated 5:32 p.m. ET, Mon., June. 16, 2008

ROME - An Italian man was arrested on suspicion of kidnapping his ex-girlfriend from a pub, taking her home and forcing her to iron his clothes and wash the dishes, police said Monday.

The 43-year-old man dragged the woman out of a pub in the port city of Genoa, shoved her into a car and took her to his home, where he made her iron and wash dishes after threatening her, they said.

Police arrived at his house after being tipped off by a friend of the woman who watched the scene at the pub.

The man, who was apparently furious at his ex-girlfriend for leaving him, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, police said.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

go figure...

maybe this explains a lot of the construction that's happening in the city and in my neighborhood -- although in my area, a lot of the renovation feels like they're planning a big party that hardly anyone will attend. sure, it's the city -- but as my friend told me months ago, it's still the ghetto, with all of the danger and the stigma that's attached to it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One way to handle gas prices: Move

More people are looking to live closer to work and shopping, and find relocating saves them hundreds of dollars a month in gas.

By Steve Hargreaves, CNNMoney.com staff writer

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- It may seem a bit drastic, but more and more people are taking what is perhaps the ultimate step in cutting gas prices: They're moving.

Peaches Stevens used to rent an old farm house in southern Indiana. She loved the setting, but her job as a high school science teacher was 62 miles to the north.

Coaching golf after school made carpooling difficult, and even though her Dodge Neon got an impressive 30 miles a gallon, she was still spending upwards of $400 a month on gas.

So she moved. Now Stevens, 49, rents a place eight miles away from school. Plus, she bough a Honda scooter that gets 80 miles a gallon. Now she can get to work and back for about $16 a month.

"I'm doing it all for economic reasons," said Stevens, who figures she'll save enough in gas to pay off the $2,400 scooter in under 7 months. "I loved [the farmhouse], but I do feel like I'm doing the right thing."

Stevens is part of a national trend of high gas prices playing a major role in where people choose to live. Factors like distance from work, access to public transportation, and proximity to shopping are gaining ground on square footage and whether or not the home has a yard and pushing people into more densely packed areas.

"The high cost of gas is cited as a driving factor in increased interest in urban living," said Jim Gillespie, chief executive of Coldwell Banker, a national realty franchise. "Over the past several years we've seen a boom in downtown living all over the country."

It seems like the people actually making the move so far seem to be renters as opposed to owners, as not renewing a lease is obviously much easier than selling a home.

While their wallets may be happy, whether the quality of life is improving for the people who move is debatable.

"I went from a beautiful home with a big back yard to an itty-bitty studio apartment," said Erinn Thomas, who moved from a suburb of Reno, NV, to the downtown area to save on gas. "But it's what I had to do to eat."

So 25-year old Thomas now rents a place just a mile from work.

She says she'll miss the space of the suburbs, but in addition to the $200 a month she hopes to save on gas, she also aims to pocket another $100 a month - and probably improve her health - by staying away from the Drive-thru window at the local fast-food joints.

"I don't have to drive anymore and I can buy a bike," she says.

In addition to personal health, some are also tipping their hat to the health of the planet.

"You cut your carbon footprint, which is pretty cool," said Jason Zulick, a 31- year old human resources manager from Orwigsburg, Penn.

Jason and his wife Tara moved to Orwigsburg from a town 25 miles away. High gas prices weren't the only reason they moved - the couple hopes to start a family and wanted to be closer to relatives in the area.

But they played a big part, and Tara's commute to her teaching job has been cut in half.

"We've saved $150 a month on gas alone just making the switch," said Jason.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

the noisiest building on the block

at about 8 am, the front door of my apartment building is propped open and the workers begin jackhammering everything. at least, that's the way it sounds. right now, the jackhammering is on the 2nd floor but for awhile, it was in the apartment above mine. when they were upstairs, every so often, it sounded like someone bodyslammed a baby elephant onto every flat surface up there. it shook loose the heavy glass fixture over the lights on the ceiling, shattering all over the living room. when i came home, it looked like the rug was caked in glass.

basically, as tenants vacate the apartments, the building owners renovate them and turn them into luxury digs. the other day, i stepped outside and realized that although they're doing construction on all of the empty apartments on my side of the street, my building seems to be taking it the hardest.

how nice were these newly renovated apartments? i was very curious.

the same hardworking guys have been coming in and out of the building for months. the africans and the west indians and the black folk always speak to me. the russians and the polish guys, not so much. when i new that they were working on an apartment down the hall, i whipped out a few glasses and some paul newman lemonade (my favorite!) and paid them a visit. of course, they let me roam around -- it's the best lemonade in the world. the apartment mirrored mine, but it seemed bigger -- probably because it was empty. they gave me all sorts of inside scoopage, though. in the end, they could flip the building if they get enough vacancies. new york city real estate is ruthless.

i'm not sure what my game plan should be, but one thing is for sure -- i'd better get one.

Monday, June 16, 2008

who can it be now?

thanks to last friday's entry and my current stay-at-home mentality, i thought this week's "home" themed music video choice was a fairly obvious one.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day!


i wish i could go home to ATL to celebrate with my 92 year old daddy, but alas and alack, my situation is such that i cannot. but i did send flowers. and i'd like to think that this snarky little card would make him laugh.

Friday, June 13, 2008

the knock on the door

i got a knock on my door the other day. when it happened, it seemed to echo throughout the entire apartment, like something ominous was about to happen. like something out of a hitchcock movie. my friend and i looked each other dead in the eye like he was steve mcqueen and i was ali macgraw and we were on the lam. ah, peckinpah. i actually felt a few seconds of genuine panic.

i know that it's weird, i know that "people don't do that," but i don't care. those "people" don't have to walk a mile in my converse all-stars. and if they did, they'd never make it across the street. i never answer the door. and i know very few black people who do. answering the door is the kind of thing that happens in the suburbs or on television. they answer the door on your favorite sit-com. in reality, it's not the thing to do in the ghetto. it's just not. there's absolutely no such thing as an unexpected visitor in this neck of the woods. when someone wants to come over, they call first to make sure you're home. or you plan it out. you say stuff like, yeah i'll be home around 7pm. swing by, we'll have ice cream. but they don't just knock out of nowhere. only cops do that. and even then, i'm not opening the door. that's a great way to rob someone at gunpoint. you can buy a cop uniform anywhere.

a few years ago, my next door neighbors got robbed by two guys pretending to be cops. they flashed badges and everything. and they had small children in that apartment! heh. not me, buddy. i ain't goin' for that okey-doke. you're going to have to shoot me through the peephole. and you'd better not miss.

i even know actors who keep cop outfits on hand, in case there's last minute on camera extra work or under fives to be had.

and hey -- remember that deranged guy that pretended to be a fireman who knocked on his former co-worker's door on halloween? he raped her, beat her up -- for 13 hours. he even videotaped everything. why did it take months to find him?

so like i said the first time: if i don't know that you're coming over, i'm not answering the door.

so yeah, it's funny now but for some reason it wasn't funny in the moment: there we were, watching the daily show and we're both looking at each other as we silently ask the same question and run through our mental database of who it could be. all of that in a glance.

so he gets the door. it's this guy, a 19 year old kid really, from the 2nd floor. he's dark skinned, with these contacts that make his eyes look hazel, almost vampiric. he's dominican, like almost everyone else in the building. and he's flaming. i like this kid. he's got two little brothers and they're adorable. i always make sure to give them kindereggs at holloween. and a baby sister. and his mother is kind of a saint. so he's got my full and undivided attention. i want to help him for his mother's sake. she's that much of a sweetie.

he wants to talk to me about modeling. modeling!? get this: someone stopped him in the street, said they were an agent from elite and after an initial meeting, decided to work with him doing runway -- for 40% of his take. i balked. first of all, while i'm sure that happens to lots of people in the industry -- every other model, from gisele to alek wek started exactly this way -- it sounds like a total con. just because it happened to them doesn't mean they aren't going to pull your leg or try to use you up. he's telling me about what a fierce walk he's got. who cares if you're getting used up? the average modeling career only lasts until you're 21.

i didn't tell any of that to the kid. instead, i told him the numbers that never get an argument out of anyone: my manager has never taken more than 10% and neither has any agent i've ever worked with. and i can write that 10% off at tax time. i'm doing on camera and voiceover work now, but even when i did print work in college, no body took that much. i know visual artists who have to fork over 50% to the galleries that represent them. elvis gave up 50% to colonel tom parker, his manager. but that was their deal. that wasn't the norm. i don't know any runway models who give up 40%. and runway is an important distinction to make because that's where black models get paid as much as white ones.

as i'm talking to him, i look over at my friend who's standing in the kitchen and he makes a face. then i look at the kid and realize that he's making the same face, too. of course, this made me laugh. but then the kid thought i was laughing at him, and that made me feel bad. so instead of explaining why i laughed, i apologized, brought him inside and gave him my card. i know quite a few fashion designers and stylists and the like. if he wants some advice, i know of a few people that he can call.

the last thing i said to him was, you can knock on my door whenever you want. and you know what? i actually meant it.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

all in a day's work

housework (that daily constant), a commercial audition (in chelsea), two voiceover auditions (from home), a full workout that includes a boxing conditioning class (in soho), a piano lesson uptown (and yes, piano practice for at least an hour) and round 2 of the jazzmobile jazz vocal competition this evening at the alhambra ballroom (in harlem), with all the getting ready prepwork that goes with any gig.

still don't think i do anything all day?

Monday, June 09, 2008

home

this monday's music video: another beautiful song about home, this time from sheryl crow. i don't necessarily consider myself a fan of her work -- emmylou harris did it first and she did it way, way better than this -- but ms. crow has so many songs that i like, i almost can't resist appreciating her in this indirect peripheral way. great songwriting is definitely where it's at.

too bad i couldn't embed the longer version. visually, it's tremendous. but hey -- i can't have everything i want, now can i.