Sunday, August 16, 2009
i like portland and i don't like it at all
Saturday, August 15, 2009
larry the lobster
Friday, August 14, 2009
Black Man Fridays - The Murder Of Fred Hampton, Parts 1 - 4
he was honest, sincere, and very smart - a gifted communicator, a college student, a young father and husband, and an officer in the black panther party. how cool that he could see the positive impact of his hard work in the community and how it was making a difference in the lives of so many people. but it was the twang in his voice that got me. he seemed so down to earth and folksy and accessible. even now, when i see film clips of him casually talking politics, he feels like someone i used to know.
fred was killed - actually what i should say is, murdered - in his apartment by the chicago police in conjunction with the fbi. it seems that j. edgar hoover - everyone's favorite crossdressing homosexual! - was willing to do anything to twart a black power movement, even if that meant assassinating all of its officers.
i think the black power movement was extremely dangerous to the status quo because it was so inclusive. all power to all people wasn't just a chant they threw up in the air at rallies. they meant it. such a radical shift would have destroyed everything that edgar held dear. everyone would have stopped obsessing about things like race and gender issues and they would have focused on what's really going on.
here's the documentary "the murder of fred hampton" in four parts. i know it's a little long, but trust me - it's well worth watching. and really, shouldn't we always make every effort to know our history?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
i got it!
we were looking at monologues that we'd put on camera during the previous class - a scene from a sit-com, actually - and i watched one person after another do their bit and then listened as the instructor joanna gave her insights and carefully gave balanced critique and made helpful suggestions. it was all very supportive and encouraging, a very safe space to do something new and uncomfortable and strange.
when she got to my take, i got really objective and i took careful notes - but something in me balked in spite of myself. joanna said to stay away from patterns and wear solid colors on camera, and that the camera especially liked solid colors. i thought, okay. i'll wear primary colors to auditions from now on. the red dress i chose was absolutely luminous. it looked orange on camera but it still worked. i had on that bob wig and it actually worked really well, too. the makeup was great, the accessories worked. but something was off.
joanna paused the tape and explained that i was giving what the people in the industry would call a soft read. i was way too subdued. then she told me why i should be bigger and i realized i was afraid to go in that direction, because bigger to me meant theatrical and that was always a bad idea on camera. but according to joanna, that's not entirely true if you're doing comedy or even dramedy. so i thought, okay. i'll try it. why not? the worst she can do is rein me in. and that's what you do - you do the lines, you're given direction, you make the adjustments, you keep going. sounds simple, right? it soooooo isn't.
somehow whatever she said sank in. when it was time for me to do the next monologue, i nailed it. i nailed it so hardcore, she blurted, "great read!" from the back of the room. i felt like something fell into my hands and i really didn't want to let it go. all i could think was, i got it. i got it! that transition that i never thought would happen, the one that would take me from theater to film/tv, has finally taken place.
to be completely honest with you, i stood in my own way for a really long time. let's face it - it's a visual medium. what you look like and whether the camera likes you or not is mostly why anyone seriously considers you for a part. so initially, i didn't think i was pretty enough, or light skinned enough. i knew that my acting abilities were largely irrelevant. there's plenty of people out there on tv every week and in the movies and whatnot, they're lousy actors and they're making bank. they know how to hit their mark and they know how to pose and make the right faces and say their lines "with feeling" - and they know how to work the camera.
i figured it was better to stick with what i did best, what i knew. i was wrong.
after class, i went for a walk to think and think and think. i like this on camera stuff. i'm warming up to the whole process, to letting the camera see my thoughts. and i'm working harder and harder on what i look like, for whatever it's worth. beauty is in the eye of the beholder but i think that if it's the camera's eye that's beholding me - that favors me - i'll be fine.
and yes. my gradual weight loss is totally changing the way the camera sees me. more on that later.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
this song was everywhere. whatever happened to tevin campbell?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
keep it gully
we're starting to do scenes and monologues on camera -- and boy do i look weird. but hey, at least i'm losing weight...
Monday, August 10, 2009
tomorrow
- ride your bike absolutely everywhere you have to go -- unless it's raining, of course.
- drop off donated items to the salvation army - and get that reciept for a tax write off. continue to do this every month for the rest of the year.
- take a meeting with brad at adh for an as of yet unnamed jazz project for spring, 2011.
- boxing conditioning class at 1pm and then hit the gym. hard.
- manicure/pedicure at jeniette salon - it's the monday/tuesday special!
- pick up another bio/autobiography - something definitive on nina simone or artie shaw or maybe thomas jefferson. and don't forget to loan joanna your copy of gladwell's latest book outliers.
- pay the mad fashionista a little visit, and get an appropriate outfit for the mock audition
- run lines ad nauseum for two scenes in on camera acting class
- on camera acting class, 6pm - 9pm
- schedule a voice lesson and a piano lesson for later in the week
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Hot Shots
- let the games begin!
- the black national anthem controversy
- wake up! - "top 5 american idol rejects"
- me, holding blood's guitar
- "martin luther king, jr. day" and me
- how do you "go green" in the ghetto?
- finally! - my prego commercial
- nicole dufresne, guns and self defense
- todd the merman - unbelievable but true
- oh, lebron
- this might explain it - a review of the book "layla and other assorted love songs by derek and the dominos" by jan reid
- "marriage is for white people" - an interesting reblog
- 30 things to do before you turn 30 - my very personal list
- black santa!
- where this blackgrrl stands, part two - interracial dating and the cool guy
- terrence howard sings?
- high fashion, real progress and black beauty
- a story of "call me ted" - a review of ted turner's autobiography
- the dark knight of artistic anything
- oh, terrence
Saturday, August 08, 2009
No news is good news...
Friday, August 07, 2009
Black Man Fridays - Geoffrey Holder
it didn't start with godfrey, the latest pitch man -- or orlando jones from the 90s. it seems that the 7up folks have had a long history of hiring tall, dark and handsome black men to shill their sparkly soda, starting with geoffrey -- who was so popular, they brought him back in the 80s to do another series of commercials.
only later did i discover geoffrey holder the dancer, choreographer, actor, visual artist, singer, costume designer, voice over artist.
did i mention his exquisite wife dancer, choreographer and actress carmen de lavallade? she's actually creole, you know. that notorious negrophile carl van vechten took the first photo in 1955, the year that they were wed. the second photo is of mrs. holder in 1983 - at the age of 52.

everyone would wax poetic over bill cosby and his wife camille and their love story, how he was a morehouse man and she finished at spelman and their children and so on. but none of that held any real allure for me. i was always drawn to geoffrey and carmen. they were so continental, so regal, and just so incredibly talented and dripping with elan and the special brand of joy that comes from doing what you love with the one you love. i knew as a child that the world they inhabited was filled with beautiful things because they were so beautiful. mr. and mrs. cosby seemed so conventional in comparison. and kind of lackluster, really. not that there's anything wrong with that. but these dancers -- wow. i felt it in my little girl soul: they were my kind of people.
here's a glimpse of a documentary about them, from first run pictures, so you can glimpse what i mean.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
five thousand words
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
what i learned so far in my on-camera acting workshop
so far, so good. here's my top ten.
- awful but true: most casting directors don't look past your slate -- that is, the first ten seconds of your audition, or your introduction. ("hi, my name is...")
- smile. it matters.
- if you do smile, make sure it's sincere. if it's not, it will read fake. everything reads on camera. every. little. thing.
- the camera adds 10 to 20 pounds on you. (really.)
- film/tv/commercials are a visual medium. how you look is everything. it won't matter that you're a great actor if they don't get past those first ten seconds.
- the camera sees your thoughts. (this is my favorite one!) think the thought and your eyes and face will contribute the appropriate expression on their own. of course, this is the exact opposite of "making faces".
- when you look into the camera, you are engaging the camera. when you look down, you are disconnecting. don't disconnect - unless that's a pertinent acting choice, of course.
- the best colors to wear to an audition are green or blue. the camera likes these colors on most people, but you should know what your colors are - and be sure to dress appropriately.
- know who you look like and what type you're playing, and use that familiarity when you audition.
- and last but not least - trust the camera. (this is especially hard for me. i don't trust easily.)
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Monday, August 03, 2009
Taylor Guitars/Elixir Strings Test-Drive 2009
Out of the jillions of bands that enter in the month of July, the voting period begins - drumroll, please! - today. Yes, TODAY. Everybody and anybody with a valid e-mail address can vote for any band under consideration absolutely every single day in August. The top 25 bands are semi-finalists. Five bands are chosen to be finalists, and then of course one band will be the Grand Prize Winner. Wouldn't it be nice if it were me?
I love free stuff, I love Taylor guitars, and I'd loooooooooove to get some recording done. So if you like my sound at all, look inside your heart (yes, in that Miller's Crossing kind of way) and start or end each of your days this month by voting for me.
You don't even have to do a band search to find me in their system and vote for me! I've already done all that searching for you right here.
Official contest website here. Official rules here. And as always, thank you for your support.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Why I Want A Wife
Written by Judy Syfers in 1971, this classic piece of feminist humor appeared in the premier issue of Ms. Magazine and was widely circulated in the women’s movement - so yeah, I thought you'd like to read it. Enjoy!
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.
And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife a wife to keep track of the children’s doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals,serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my when I need a rest and change of scene. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.
I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my quests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d’oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.
I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties.
My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?
Saturday, August 01, 2009
...and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...
of course, the first thing i thought about was the song tomorrow from the musical annie. strangely, most fans of jay-z already know at least one song from that show. i totally forgot that this little number is actually a really good song, that the show was on broadway forever and toured everywhere even longer than that.
it sort of begs the question: what happened to all the little girls who played the title role? there are quite a few of them. i always wonder what everyone does next, once the spotlight fades. i always want the backstory. usually, it's so much more interesting that what's happening on stage.
sure, we all know that andrea mcardle was the originator and sarah jessica parker was the 3rd actress to play the role on broadway. but what about charlene barton in the london production? frida von schewen in the swedish production? rachael marley in the australian production? beatrice visentini in the italian production? marissa o'donnell in the 30th anniversary production - the one that ran for 3 years? what about brittny kissinger?
what about annie #2? what about daddy warbucks? what about sandy, the wonder dog?
so wierd. there's a world of unknowns out there, full of bravado, singing (or acting) their hearts out in all kinds of shows everywhere - right up the street, all over the world. the strangeness lives within the sensation that there is wonder amongst us, that walks right beside us, that we can't seem to recognize until it's beyond us. or until it's too late. every famous someone was an unknown, weren't they? think about it - there's halle berry, considered by so many to be one of the most beautiful women in the world. and to think, once upon a time not that long ago, she was a former beauty queen/out-of-work actress/hostess in an upscale restaurant in downtown nyc. believe me, you weren't gawking at her then. you were wondering why this black girl couldn't find your reservation, or why she gave you the worst table in the restaurant, or whatever.
just about everybody has their new york city story of anonymity. thankfully, this seems to be a great place to disappear into a crowd.
anyway, here's some snapshots of a few annies.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sexism and the City
Like every thinking person I know, I'm appalled by the French government's big push to ban the wearing of burkas. Imagine how I balked when I read this story about "tournante" - gang rape as punishment for girls in the suburbs who rebel. Of course, I had to repost it:
“In Muslim immigrant families, the sons are treated like kings. They are not just preferred over the girls, they are spoilt and coddled.” The crux is that when these young men encounter resistance beyond the family for the first time - when they don’t get into university or college, for example - they react helplessly and destructively. They compensate for their fury and inferiority complexes with machismo and violence against those who are socially and physically weaker – girls in particular.SEXISM & THE CITY, Jun 2009
You really should read the whole article.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
...podcast?
and i suppose i could play some songs, too.
of course if you ask the internet, it will give you all kinds of answers about how to make a podcast. as it turns out, the new iPhone would make podcasting especially easy. i'm not so sure about audioboo (great name!) but it's so easy to use according to some reviews, it's kind of irresistible -- in spite of that social network thing.
i don't want to go on and on for an hour or even a half hour or even 20 minutes. i want snippets of all the strange sonic explosions that keep going off around me every day.
let's see what develops.
Friday, May 08, 2009
grillin' in the ghetto
is it delicious? yes! is it illegal? yes! does everyone do it? of course! memorial day weekend will find absolutely everyone in riverbank state park, grilling tasty things to perfection. this year, i hope to be amongst their ranks.
the requirements are few but very very important. first of all, the grill must be light, as in not heavy. secondly, they must be easy to carry. and last but not least, they must be inexpensive. less than $100? okaaay. less than $50? nice. less than that, if i can catch something on sale.
here's a rundown of my top five "charbroil it!" situations so far.
- portable bbq grill -- i'm not a fan of pottery barn, but i'm thinking seriously about getting this one. it's hideable, lighter than light, quite portable. and at 29.99, it's kind of affordable. and cute!
- notebook portable grill -- this thing is impressive. it weighs a whopping 8 pounds, it's got 192 square inches of cooking space (18 in x 18 in), it's got a carrying handle and it's less than fifty bucks.
- cast iron hibachi bbq grill -- when i had my initial jaunts to harlem to hang out with my big brothers back in the day, this is what they were working with on the fire escape: standard issue cast iron, sure -- but it was so durable that when it fell accidentally (we were on the 3rd floor), one of them just went downstairs, picked it up and cranked it all over again. (ah, harlem in the 80s/90s...those were the good ol' days!) those adjustable racks made it kind of irresistable. and so did the price. only thirty clams!
- son of hibachi portable bbq grill -- if i could legitimately grill -- on the beach, say, or even at some tailgaiting function or whatever -- this would be the one for me. when you're done, this thing folds into a self-cleaning oven and it self-extinguishes and slides into a flame-retardant snuff out pouch. here's the kicker: it saves your charcoal. priced out at seventy-something. (not bad...)
- cobb portable grill -- this is the one i'm probably going to get. it's only 8.5 pounds, it can roast, bake, smoke or fry and even make a pizza (!!!), so i can basically do whatever i want. (and i love doing whatever i want.) it doesn't require much coal, it's easy to take apart and clean, it's cool to the touch so i can pick it up and go if the cops come along and tell me i have to leave. and yeah, it's a c-note.
(don't worry, i'll take lots of pictures.)
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
singing!
This is one of the songs that will be on the CD that I'm co-producing with JC Hopkins. Our hostess Helen was sweet enough to invite us back to her breathtakingly gorgeous brownstone for a return engagement when the CD is ready to be released so that we can have a lovely uptown launch.
House parties are definitely where it's at, folks. Especially when they're this elegant.




