yes, i do

i was at jeniette day spa the other day, getting my hands and feet done, when this song gently oozed it's way onto the airwaves. i'd heard it before but this time, i actually listened to it -- probably because my mind was set adrift, with no distractions. 

i just lost someone. in thinking of him, i thought of someone else i lost. and then i thought of other someones. and all of a sudden, i was surrounded by so much love and sadness.  there i was, lazily soaking my feet and crying and happy, a shroud of melancholy embracing me like a sweet old friend.

did i really lose anyone? i'm not so sure.

no one told me that the grief never stops, the love never stops, the longing never stops. no one told me that i wouldn't ever stop missing that loved one, that -- like a place setting at the dinner table -- they would always hold their a place in my life, in my world. love would soothe it but nothing else could ever hope to fill it. not space. not time. not someone else. nothing, nothing at all.

happy, yet sad. there's got to be a german word for that. the only word i can think of to describe those feelings in english is bittersweet.

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize