Sunday, October 22, 2006

dreaming is free

i missed spa week, believe it or not. me, the girly girl that's practically addicted to the bliss hot milk and almond pedicure. well -- i almost missed it. i promised myself that after spending practically a week in plymouth, i would do something about my hands and feet, at least. they looked positively grubby. on saturday, i went to jeniette instead of the infamous taste of chinatown that i had soooo looked forward to for months on end (it still hurts a little to think about it) and made an afternoon of it -- a manicure and a pedicure ensued, followed by a pleasant sidebar with my favorite eyebrowist, who shaped my eyebrows so beautifully, i honestly believed i had a totally different and much improved look when she was finished. as i sauntered out the door, i almost felt like myself.

what did i need to get it all back? a full body exfoliation, massage and soak at juvenex. a basic facial from bliss or mario badescu. a three day fast and many, many shots of wheatgrass. some new black boots. a sunday stroll through MoMA with my friend on my arm. i settled for a good hard sweat in the gym, followed by a hot shower and some serious daydreaming. there was a lot to consider.

i had been slugging it out, auditioning like crazy for commercials and such for so long that it blindsided me to actually get one. sure, i wanted it to happen but when it finally did, i wouldn't let myself believe that it was actually mine until it was over. i wanted to shift towards film/tv/commercials as an actor, and away from theater/musicals -- unless i can originate work, of course -- and i wanted confirmation that the commercial route that i so doggedly pursued was the right one for me. i realize now, as i wait with some fairly righteous trepidation to see if it gets picked up after the editing process, that clearly i'm standing on the verge of the rest of my life. i've heard people talk about turning a corner but this is unreal. everything has changed.

i'm looking forward to the creative freedom that only money and time can give me. in the meantime, i'm ordering my thoughts and rearranging my goals and priorities. i've had my little dream come true. several, in fact. now it's time to dream something else.

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