That Last Selfie of 2015...!

A photo posted by Queen Esther (@thisisqueenesther) on Jan 1, 2016 at 12:17am PST

Happy New Year!

This is the last selfie of 2015 -- I'm wearing Byron Lars, thank God -- and fittingly, I'm in the infamous Hampden-Booth library at at The Players Club on New Year's Eve, finishing up with soundcheck.  I always wanted to be a librarian. I'm constantly doing research.  And I love books.

May 2016 be "the" year, for all of us.  God bless us, everyone.

Friday the 13th #1: Photoshoot!

Because Friday the 13th happens three times this year -- and won't happen again for another 11 years! --  I thought it would be fun to do something momentous for each one.  I'm not superstitious but I know way too many specifics about my Southern rural traditions, and I have sense enough to respect them.  Everybody's got their thing.  Such is life.

It's interesting to mark the days this way, with art that I make or ideas that catch me off guard.  This moment came together with photographer Steven Rosen so effortlessly, it felt like fate.  Steven was the one who took this portrait of me at the Jazz Age Lawn Party last year.  This photo captures the ethereal, timeless, elegant nature of the event -- and me! -- so completely, that asking him to shoot me for the April residency was a no-brainer.

I will be in residence at Minton's Harlem every Tuesday in April, with a program I've created that is dedicated to delving into unknown facets of Billie Holiday's body of work.  Every week, I will present a different idea, with unexpected results. What's especially exciting is that 2015 is her centennial year and the first Tuesday of the residency -- April 7th -- is her birthday.

I have been thinking about the visuals for this project for a long time, mostly because I was in the process of shaping my own image and I knew that it would bend its way onto this idea whether I wanted it to or not.  I wanted something simple and austere, yet elegant and beautiful -- mood-inducing stuff -- because ultimately,  I should look the way the music sounds. But it's bigger than that. I can no longer have anyone look at me and think of anyone else except me. And that's WAY more difficult than it sounds. 


Here's an out-take. And just in case you were wondering: I'm wearing a Byron Lars silver hobble dress, I did my own hair and make-up, and yes, I styled it myself.

For information about the April residency at Minton's Harlem and/or to make reservations, please call 212 243 2222.

I know there are a lot of people who will be looking for gardenias in my hair or an imitative send-up of her more popular material, because quite a few of those people have approached me whenever I sing any Holiday standard with a peony on my head.  Sometimes they say the oddest things, like how my flower is on the wrong side of my head or how I don't sound like Billie Holiday at all or how I must listen to a lot of Carmen McRae or Nina Simone or whoever their favorite black female jazz singer is.  I love peonies. I think they're a gigantic burst of color to my soul. I think they wake up something in me whenever I wear them. But I can't wear them anymore.

I have absolutely no intentions of turning myself into Lady Day for a month.  Miss Holiday herself got tired of that flower and those songs long before she passed away, and made a point of moving past them with resolve when the rest of the world refused to do so.  My question is, what about the rest of her work?

I hope that everyone is as interested in her rare sides as I am -- those songs that were hits back in the day but don't get a lot of attention, here and now.

See you in April. 

Post-Birthday-itis Blues

I've celebrated my birthday for an entire month before the actual day hits for quite some time now, for lots of reasons. Mostly, it's because one day just isn't enough. The build up feels epic. And let's face it, it ups the fun factor considerably. Although I have to admit to the purchase of a Byron Lars shirtdress yesterday (thanks, ebay!) I make it a habit to give myself intangible presents, like an afternoon goofing off with good friends or an especially long walk home in the moonlight. 

Last week, I was thinking long and hard about what I really want this time around. Since my birthday hits at about the year's halfway mark, a certain amount of introspection seems to come with the territory. To tell you the truth, I'm getting what I want, big time: my Black Americana album The Other Side is climbing the Americana charts steadily with reviews coming soon (hopefully); I've already written the songs for my next Black Americana album; I'm losing my "Yay, I'm married and I'm happy!" 20+ lb weight gain; my hair is growing like crazy (finally!); and as unbelievable as it seems, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel with my dental work, which has been extensive, costly and extremely painful -- and worth it, for what it means to my overall health.

And oh, yeah -- that beautiful Byron Lars dress. So dope.

What I really want is to edit my closets and get rid of all this extraneous crap in this apartment -- and yes, in my life.  So this week, (just about) everything must go: clothes and shoes I've emotionally outgrown, paperwork that's lingering and anything else I can't stand. I'm hoping for a fresh start by the end of the week.

Interestingly, I'll be eating clean for the next 30 days and trying new things physically -- like yoga.

(Yay, me.)

30 days of birthday - day 7: byron lars

too many fashion designers have teams of minions, underlings, associates and co-horts that dedicate themselves to their fearless leader's vision, whipping together much of what floats down the runway each season. they are nameless and faceless, these hard workers. all too often, they are the ones who do the heavy lifting, only to watch said fashion designer sign and claim their clever idea. celebrity fashion designers are especially guilty of this -- everybody's got one! -- but who can blame them? it's a billion dollar industry and if you're popular, it's a more money situation.

byron lars is one of the only designers on the planet that actually puts pen and ink to paper and creates his own work. what he comes up with, season after season, is drop dead brilliant. anyone with half a brain in the industry knows that this is true.  the fact that he's a black man makes all of this even more salient. he is living proof that talent will out -- sometimes in spite of yourself or your circumstances.

there. i said it.

imagine my surprise when i met byron lars years ago after a gig at joe's pub and found out that he was a fan of my work.  he was there, time and again -- in the audience and swing dancing! -- way back when i was singing with the yalloppin' hounds, wearing vintage cocktail dresses and high heeled sneakers topped with a nigerian gele or a proper cloche hat or whatever else i could get my hands on. i figured no one was paying any attention to me anyway, so i may as well present myself the way i want and say what i want and do what i want. strangely, byron was paying attention. how cool! it's been a mutual admiration society ever since.

knowing him is a beautiful gift.

i love to wear his dresses because they are so tailored and womanly. they radiate confidence and elan in the most feminine way imaginable -- which, for me, is the ultimate powerhouse move. so many never realize this until its too late: as a woman, you are at your strongest when you are at your most feminine, whatever that is. you wearing men's clothing could be the thing that makes it pop in your world. or dressing up like an edwardian widow. i mean, seriously. whatever. we are all finding our way to it.

here's byron's beautiful wiggle dress i wore for the harlem stage 30th anniversary gala a few weeks ago. 

i once read a statement diane von furstenberg (another personal favorite!) made in 1972 that, along with that fabled wrap dress (which is hanging in the smithsonian, by the way) turned everything upside down in the fashion industry for some reason: feel like a woman, wear a dress. that pretty much sums it up for me. you might find me in a pair of jeans because i'm on my way to an audition or a pair of shorts because i can't box in a skirt (or can i?) but for the most part, i don't wear pants because i think diane is right.

every once in awhile, byron will spring a dress on me but the truth is, i'm always trolling the internet for his stuff.  everyone else is looking at porn. i'm looking for pie crust recipes and wiggle dresses. *sigh.* every once in awhile, i'll get lucky. this was the banner score of the moment: a long sleeved, striped, rayon/poly/spandex stretch blend wiggle dress with tulle overlay - new with tags. and NOT crazy expensive. whoopee!

"...happy birthday to me...!"