Spring Cleaning, Part One: Swaps!

Time to watch an episode or two of Hoarders for motivation, roll up my sleeves and clean house.



This month, I'm starting with my closets. I'd like to refresh my wardrobe but I don't have the money to fling at every cute outfit I see when I window shop -- and frankly, I've got way too many items that I never wear.

My solution? Swaps! Who knew that you could swap your clean, gently used/not broken stuff -- including housewares and whatnot -- all over Gotham for free? (I didn't!) 

Here's a short list to get you started.

• Stop 'N Swap! Sponsored by grownyc.com, you can show up with that blender you never use -- or come empty-handed and take whatever you need.  (Sounds like hippies to me...!)
• Fashion Swap and Meet is wunderbar -- their last swap featured fashion bloggers.
• Although meetup.com features over a dozen swaps in the New York area (including one for single parents with small kids), Five Boroughs Clothing Swap looks promising. It's members only -- hopefully with others who are as thrifty and fashion-conscious as you are -- it happens six times a year and it's free.
• There's lots of shops that swap, like Thrift Disco and The Frock Shop...
• ...and yep, you can do this online via Swapdom, Swap! and Thread Up.

My solution? A few times a year, there's an extremely private swap amongst maybe a dozen friends that involves a lavish meal, lots of wine and clothes galore.  Whatever gets picked over is donated to a great cause, like a women's shelter.  (My favorite donation spot: The Bottomless Closet.)  And because I know which girlfriend has that pencil skirt I used to love, I can always get it back if I miss it too much.  That's the beauty of swapping with a closed circle of friends: we're all up in some small part of each other's closets.

There's also another seasonal swap amongst friends -- a tea party! with cocktails! and delicious tea cakes and whatnot! wheeeee! -- that's strictly vintage.  All this with regular donations to the Salvation Army means that my closets are actually in pretty good shape these days. And here's a happy bonus: losing this pesky winter weight means that I get to wear all the clothes in my closet, not just the stuff that fits me this week. 

Next month: Zen and The Art of Clearing My Junk Room...!

Spring Essentials

Letting go is difficult. My junk room is a mess and both my closets are filled with stuff I hardly wear. I'm editing my closets the Tim Gunn way this month -- systematically getting rid of clothing that I've emotionally outgrown, worn out or don't wear. Although I'll be making donations to The Bottomless Closet every week, all the vintage stuff will be sold to the highest bidder.

My wardrobe needs a few basics.  My basics. Style over fashion, folks. Here's my top five.

1. Kiehl's Original Musk Oil I have a friend that loves to say, if you aren't wearing perfume, you aren't fully dressed. This is the concentrated fragrance that makes you smell like you. Wonderful stuff.  If I could, I'd bathe in it.  

2. Midi pencil skirts I can't believe this is a trend. I've been wearing them like crazy since forever. All this means is that what I really want won't be that hard to find.  The downside is that I'll have to see it on everybody else.

3. Tea length dresses  This trend means that I can update my vintage versions with their modern counterparts. I love a dress because it's a complete outfit -- no need to look for the just right top or bottom -- just accessorize and go.  The rule is that the hemline is below midcalf, which is fine by me as long as it's not an a-line situation.

4. Metallic pumps  Silver and gold is one thing but metallic is something else.  This would pop profusely with a white dress. 

5. TWA Gear  My Daddy worked for TWA for over 35 years as a ramp serviceman/mechanic.  I didn't mean to start yet another collection -- trust me, I have enough stuff as it is -- but I needed luggage tags and when I found a set of red TWA vintage vinyl ones, I fell down that rabbit hole with a quickness.  Next came a heavy winter jacket and a mechanic's shirt -- the kind he'd wear to work every day when I was a kid. 

I know exactly how all of it will look on me.  After all, I am my father's daughter. 

a happy epiphany

now that eating clean and not eating at night has become the rule in my foodie life and not the exception, it feels odd to not eat that way all the time.  the upshot is, i'm sliding into clothes that didn't fit me last spring, so the weight loss was gradual enough to stick.  maybe it's the change of seasons, but i find myself using clothes to measure the changes in my body instead of the scale. it's much more rewarding, much more satisfying and way more quantifiable than a golden number to hit that somehow "completes" me.

boxing everyday took inches off my frame but i hardly lost any weight. you're gaining muscle, my sparring partner/coach would say, waving me off. you're getting stronger. i was sad because i couldn't fit into my favorite little black dress. now i'm thinking, as long as i can wear all the clothes in my closet -- including that dress, eventually, if i keep this up -- who cares what i weigh.  and of course, all of this is making me very happy that i didn't toss out the vintage clothes that i love, simply because they didn't fit anymore. slowly but surely, i'm getting back into them.

so that's my happy epiphany for the moment. what's yours?

the bottomless closet

 our minds want clothes as much as our bodies. -- samuel butler

although the hard work of eating clean has me slowly melting back down to a size 4/6, i've thrown open my closet doors way too often these days and wondered why i don't have anything to wear.  most of it is probably because i've emotionally outgrown a lot of what i put on every day. it also doesn't help that there's too much in the back that i haven't worn in so long, i don't even recognize certain things. that's not good.

this is the reason why this spring finds me furtively editing my closets more so than usual and finding that the usual tax write off donation pitstops -- the salvation army or housingworks, for example -- aren't doing it for me anymore. i don't know why.  it still annoys me that i missed a huge swap-meet downtown a month or so ago. (there's nothing like an even trade for an instant upgrade.)  and for some strange reason, i don't have the patience or the fortitude for everyone's favorite gigantic online worldwide swap meet, ebay.

i had a vague recollection of a news item i saw years ago about an organization dedicated to helping women who were on public assistance transition into viable careers by giving them the confidence that they needed to present themselves well in an interview setting and providing professional work attire. that made so much sense to me. how in the world could anyone ever land that ideal job if they don't look the part, even if they have all the skills they need?

a quick google search (how did we ever get along without it?) led me to the bottomless closet. initiated by volunteers in 1999, they've helped thousands of women in new york city much more than clothes. a great outfit for a job interview is just the beginning. they have professional development workshops,seminars and programming that keeps women coming back and creates a supportive community. now that's where i'd love to donate those low-heeled office pumps i hardly ever wore.



everyone has to learn how to get dressed, no matter what we want to do. somewhere down the line, someone taught you how to tie a tie or that this blouse was appropriate or they gave you a suit or whatever.  clothes are powerful weaponry and although i suppose it takes a certain skill set to wield them well, the important thing to remember is that the gun is loaded, regardless. what you wear and how you wear it is working its elfin magic and communicating volumes to the world, whether your choices are painstakingly deliberate or completely haphazard.

hm. now that i'll be emptying my closet of who i was, its time to rethink who i am. one thing is certain: none of my vintage clothes are going anywhere.

clothesediting

how is it possible that i have two closets filled with clothes and absolutely nothing to wear?

it's moments like these when i wish i could get rid of everything -- except my vintage clothes, of course. i've found every dress, every skirt, very very carefully. each item has a story to tell and a history that happened way before i came along, which is important. the past comes alive all around us, all the time -- even if it's within something as simple as what we wear.

according to tim gunn, it's a good idea to edit your closet seasonally but when i can't remember the last time i tossed anything out or at least made a serious donation to the salvation army, i know i'm in big trouble. this week will find me making the tax-deductible drop offs i should have pushed for in december. and it won't be pretty.

wish me luck.

new clothes

thanks to tim gunn's book, i'm unhinging my closets and editing my wardrobe, one item at a time. after i dropped off the second huge bag of clothes to the salvation army, i knew that i was making progress. i need new basics but i can't afford to get them all at once, so today i splurged at american apparel. for some strange reason, i had always made a point of not buying anything there. probably because most of their ads featured scantily dressed girls with their legs splayed apart, and soft-core porn just isn't my thing. someone told me that they underpay their workers or something. the guy who owns it was brought up on charges of sexual harrassment. evidently, he likes to masturbate while conducting interviews. rumors, fact and fiction. who cares? they're doing a brisk business. but still.

i passed by the american apparel store in the lower east side with my friend and his buddy todd the merman once. all the salesgirls were wearing micromini dresses or hot pants that exposed their bums, with skimpy semi-see-through tops. one of them was spinning records. "let's go shop in there," todd the merman said, and he headed inside before my friend and i could reply. i wasn't blown away by their selection like todd seemed to be. maybe it was the fluorescent lights but i remember thinking that there was something drab about clothes that were that colorful. it's like that store units from the 80s, but urbanized -- garanimals for the tragically hip. both todd and i left emptyhanded. my friend thought the whole thing was funny. he thinks american apparel is a cult. (he's probably right.)

jump cut to me, feeling the pinch of the cold and realizing that i'd tossed out all the worn out leggings i had. while surfing the net for a high-waisted version, i fell onto the american apparel website and i found what i was looking for in short order. was it any good? it was cheap enough for me to take a risk. i called first to make sure that the particular store location had everything i wanted -- i can't stand wasting time in a store when i know what i want -- and that was pretty much it.

what did i get? really great thigh high socks. high waisted leggings. high waisted shorts. a tube dress that's going to be a terrific long skirt. all of that, for a grand total of $99. not bad. and here's the kicker: everything fits remarkably well.

i care about style. style has nothing to do with fashion. i pick and choose certain pieces so i can look like my own unique self when i get dressed. whatever works, you know?

next: h&m for a black 3/4 sleeve cardigan. i tossed my worn-out ratty ones -- and after all, it is a basic.

what would you do?

my friend and i were walking up 3rd avenue from midtown some time ago, when the weather was warmer than it is now. the sun was waning and everything was on the verge of changing into another season, but not really. everyone was out on the street all over the place with their kids and their dogs and their kids on tricycles and whatnot. like the sidewalk was their backyard. it wasn't particularly crowded, but there were people everywhere.

we were on our way to ej's luncheonette for dinner. they have great chili, texas style.

i can't remember what we were talking about. what i do remember is that this woman sort of materialized out of the crowd and kept a steady pace directly in front of us. she wore her hair in a bun and she was terribly pasty and she looked taller than she actually was, in those strappy silvery sandals. as the gauzy dress swirled around her, my friend and i fell silent. and then we looked at each other with the same thought hovering over our heads in one collective glassy thought-bubble: we could see straight through the dress! we could see her thin flat backside and the flab that twitched with every step. we could see that thong that was so much darker than the dress that for a minute there, i figured she must have wanted everyone to see her backside. we could see everything.

i'm going to say something, i whispered. no, you're not, my friend hissed, grasping my arm. (clearly, this wasn't the first time he'd done that.) what's she gonna do? go home and change?
and i said, well, yeah. so then he countered with, you don't think she knew what she looked like when she left the house? i thought about that one. i mean, who doesn't have a set of flesh colored bra and panties? don't they make slips anymore? didn't all of that gauze come with some sort of filmy underlay, or something?

i felt sorry for her. i thought, that could be me, walking down the street naked. did other people notice? were we the only ones who could see this spectacle? did anyone else care? i would want someone to tell me something. i told that to my friend. he made a face and shook his head, saying no you wouldn't.

so the three of us walked along in grand strides and as we did, my friend explained that in polite society, people wouldn't say or do certain things. like yell in the street. or draw attention to themselves. or be rude to anyone, in any way. that's the behavior of true aristocracy -- but the thing is, they have enough handlers to insulate them from having to interact with people and live in situations that might compell them to raise their voices above a conversational tone. they never have to yell at anybody. that's somebody else's job.

as i told my friend my favorite story about jackie o. that epitomized this way of life, the visibly naked lady took a right turn and disappeared into a movie premiere private party that left us not wondering who she was. and i was left to wonder: what would my life be like if i behaved like an aristocrat?