and so it begins

this isn't the part where i whine about how hard it is to get my body together. i'm tired of whining. this is the part where i tell you that i got so sick of myself, i'm actually doing something about it. the pressure's on: pilot season is coming on strong, i need new headshots and postcards, and the season is changing so there's a whole other set of clothes that i can't fit in. and i'm too cheap to buy larger things. i'd rather lose weight and get right back into what i've got.

oh, sure. i was doing something about it before every so often. now i'm doing something about it every day. i've chucked my gym membership with the place in the nearby park and joined NYSC, which has locations everywhere (even 24 hour gyms), so its way too convenient.

i went out the other night and had a boxing lesson after a fairly severe upper body workout. it had me limping for days. on my way home that night, i felt my body buzzing. i remembered when i lived in that SRO on the upper west side and how once upon a time, my body felt that buzzy way on a regular basis. i was at my physical best when i was a member of that gym. i ate right and i pushed my body a little more everyday and in return, it never betrayed me with illness or major surgery or minor breakdowns, or any of the other things that seemed to plague everyone else. in my time in the city, i've had that buzz for the most part. but now i've lost it for all the usual reasons and i want it back badly enough to work out every morning to get it.

nothing comes without sacrifice and discipline.

the hard part isn't getting there. the hard part is maintaining it. the boxing is hard on me but it's fun, i have to admit. evidently, i'm a pugilist at heart. after the first lesson, i went home and soaked in the tub for as long as i could. the all over ache was relentless. too bad my friend can't come with me. on saturdays, we ride our bikes for 10 or 15 miles or more. tomorrow, we're going to ride across the george washington bridge and explore new jersey.

to tell you the truth, i go through this "get in shape" thing every other season. and so it begins -- deja vu all over again. if i were rich and famous, this wouldn't be any easier. i'd still have to put one foot in front of the other and do the work. it gives me some small comfort to know that gwen stefani struggles with her weight, and every day is a fight to keep it off.

fat: the great equalizer.