Tuesday, August 21, 2007

wierd audition number ten zillion and two

so i went to telsey to audition for a tylenol pm commercial. i was told to not wear any makeup but of course i wore concealer. its that made up look that makes you look like you're not made up. how would they know the difference, anyway? they've never seen me without it.

of course they're running behind. of course i have someplace else to be. of course some hard-faced middle aged looking white woman told me no way could i ask someone else if i could go ahead of them because she was running late for a film audition and she was ahead of me anyway, so no way could i jump line. and wow, i wasn't even talking to her. i came very close to saying, if someone else agrees to let me jump in front of them, it's none of your business. but i didn't get into that. i looked at her drawn, saggy, sullen face and i let it go.

things moved very quickly after that but i wasn't sure why. everyone went in and out, in and out. eventually, i lost track of miss saggy-faced sourpuss. she just didn't matter anymore. sharon wilkins showed up, of course -- she was auditioning for an american airlines commercial a few kiosks down -- and she gave me wonderful words of support, as usual. she looked so pretty, she was glowing.

i turned to survey the room at one point and caught a glimpse of kate rigg, the comedienne/writer/performance artist. i so admire her. when i introduced myself, she blurted, you're my friend on myspace! i thought that was just adorable. she went in before me and filled me in on what i'd have to do. then she decided that the commercial we thought we'd be auditioning for probably cast the kids first, so that was probably not an option. and, she continued, she probably didn't get this one because she looks horrible when she's sleeping. i wanted to say, how would you know? you can't see yourself, you're asleep! the fact that she's pretty didn't help her argument, either. oh, well.

when i got into the room, i realized why everything was moving so fast. all i had to do was lie down on a sofa and pretend to sleep. and snore. it felt strange, faking an r.e.m. dreamlike state. i lay there, my arms across my torso just so, and tried to imagine what i'd sound like if i had to explain all of it.

sounds like the kind of stuff that only happens to me. heh.

i left thinking, whoa -- i'm not getting that one. i probably looked like i was drugged. or comatose. and that can't be what they're going for. i mean, how strong is tylenol pm?

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