Kudzu, Mon Amour

i've come a long way, baby

2012-01-12T02:01:00.005-05:00

just when i think new york city has wrung the very life essence from the marrow of my bones, just when i think i'm done with this place because i simply can't afford to make art here, just when the fantasies of leaving overwhelm the dream of staying and staying alive creatively, something wonderful happens. i turn a corner and even though its pissing down rain and misery as far as my eye can see, the sun shines inside me -- relentless, insistent, defiant -- and everything shifts forward, everything changes and changes for the best. everything makes sense.

when someone tells me that i've wasted my time at any point in my life, all i can think is, why am i wasting my time listening to you tell me that? the truth is, there is no such thing as wasted time. not in the grand scheme of things. where ever i was, i was right where i needed to be, to change and become the person that God wants me to be. where ever i was, i was where God wanted me to be, to learn that lesson. where ever i was is a far cry from where i am now. everything is streamlined. minimized.

i am draped in bar chords. i wear them every day. there are bits of lyrics and phrases floating just above my head, just waiting for me to look up and scribble them down. pretty melodies are a luminous day-glo halo that never comes off, never goes away. and somewhere inbetween piano lessons and boxing sessions, i am gliding through the city in a shroud of humility and gratefulness. i feel a great deal of joy and sweet relief. i feel safe. i feel divinely protected. i feel loved.

God bless us, everyone.

"off the air" is off the chain

2012-01-10T22:12:00.000-05:00

somewhere around 4am found me bouncing out of bed listlessly and crash-landing onto the sofa, where i decided to channel surf to get my visual bearings before i ripped into rewrites. adult swim is always a good idea, even when they're playing something i don't like. and i don't like a lot of what's on their top 10 list - although i'm slightly addicted to robot chicken - especially the star wars parodies - and of course the venture brothers. squidbillies is insane.

after a rerun of king of the hill came and went, some wierd grainy footage slid across the screen and imploded, melding into day glow imagery of an eagle. when that bird took flight, picked up a goat and tossed it off of a cliff, i was riveted. i don't know why. it was so violent, so completely unexpected. drop dead hilarious, somehow. and strange. very, very strange. believe it or not, things got progressively more disturbing from there: a vivid, mesmerizing, stream-of-consciousness visual rant on animals. at first glance, it looks like one big acid trip. i was almost tempted to think, maybe i'd enjoy this a lot more if i were on acid. or at least high. and yeah, it smacks of psychedelia but it's actually way bigger than that.

it reminded me of superjail, definitely, when everything goes haywire with a superjailbreak and they do their trippy sequences.

mpb thinks that the warden of superjail looks exactly like james habacker, the artistic director/costumed host of the slipper room. (yes, they're still in exile and rebuilding the space.) i think he's right.
off the air also has that stitched together local cable access feel of tim and eric: awesome show, great job.

this is a less-bizarre-than-usual trailer, but it's still got that high creep factor that makes me flinch involuntarily if i watch it for more than 10 minutes.

that's the other thing. off the air was only about 10 minutes long, but really - that's just about all i could take, especially at 4 am. it was so definite about how random it wanted to be.

of course, everyone doesn't get it. of course, there are those that do. i mean, hey. whatever blows your hair back.

on the other hand, your eye has to mature and develop and grow, just like your ear and your tastebuds and your reading level and your intellect and everything else, if you are to fully engage and experience whatever it is that falls onto your lap or your plate. if you do it right, you keep learning and growing. reading is fundamental to this process. so is eating clean - i'm convinced of it. some people don't get past the basics. for them, pollock is splatter, coltrane is noise, foie gras is just chopped liver and dostoyevsky is overwhelming. what's especially discouraging is that the system in this country doesn't really encourage this way of functioning in the world. the public school system doesn't teach students how to think critically and the powers that be don't exactly encourage it.

too bad that the more visually arresting stuff on tv is so hard to find. now if only there were more than two episodes of this freakshow...

the state of things as they are

2012-01-08T22:33:00.004-05:00

happy new year, more or less.

i can't remember the last time i made any new year's resolutions. once i learned the difference between a goal and a priority, and then hinged it all on a deadline, stuff began to get done with a quickness in every area of my life. still and all, there is always the effort to stay objective, to stay open and to grow. because i don't like reaching beyond my comfort zone, circumstance almost always shoves me into the great wide open, kicking and screaming all the way. this year is no exception. the challenges keep coming and i welcome them, for all of what they will turn me into, much sooner than i think.

bad habits are falling away as good habits are falling into place. my daily ritual involves guitars and boxing, and a lot of writing and rewriting. and running. i absolutely drop-dead hate running. i love the stamina its giving me but God help me, i hate every second of it.

some days feel so easy, so forgiving. but lately, everything is so much work, so much discipline. even when i'm having a soak, i'm working that dead skin off my backside. but i'm fighting for the body i want and when i get it, i will fight to maintain it.

and that ain't all. but more on all that later.

i'm the decider!

2011-12-20T20:39:00.007-05:00

Source: confident-beautiful-motivated.tumblr.com via Gretchen on Pinterest

i've turned a corner.

i don't know exactly when it happened. i don't know what triggered it. i don't know when all of it hit me, full on. maybe it was boxing. taking myself to my absolute limit physically every day definitely changed me from the inside out. maybe it was the clean program. so many days of deliberately eating unprocessed, healthy, organic food -- no caffeine, no salt, no sugar, no junk food, no corn, no peanuts, no dairy, no nightshade vegetables, no wheat gluten, no pork or beef or seafood -- for weeks on end. it must have shaken something loose in my soul. or maybe its all the vintage tea dances and parties and cool events and such -- glowy moments that transport me into another time and place, whether i want to go or not.

as if all of that weren't enough, i have an avalanche of unconditional love in my life that overwhelms the most mundane moments in my day to day world -- and he's right by my side.

apparently while i was beating myself up about not being able to do a military push up, my life pulled me up to this whole other level. something clicked when i read the quote above. like gabby, i made the decision to get off the couch and get physical. i made up my mind to eat healthy. i wanted to have more fun on my own terms. sure -- getting dressed up in vintage clothes and going to a tea social and dancing to music from the 20s and 30s isn't everyone's idea of a good time but it makes me very, very happy. so, nuts to you.

maybe that's the whole point: nuts to you.

it's a beautiful thing, to subconsciously focus only on the things that really matter until everything else grows strangely blurred -- and i'm left wondering why i cared about any of that stuff in the first place.

and that's another thing: there is something powerful and life-affirming to be said for gabourey sidibe having the guts to make that statement to herself, to decide that she is beautiful, when practically everything in the world is telling her -- and every other black woman on the planet -- that she is not. there's a reason why, in a recent allure magazine survey, black women were three times as likely to rate themselves as "hot" than their caucasian counterparts. that makes perfect sense to me.

i don't have anything out there in the world that's validating what i see when i look in the mirror, so i make my own world. i have my own beauty standards and regimens, my own beauty ideals. my own beauty icons. and as i surround myself with these things and more, my self-confidence grows and grows and grows.

did chris rock say it best? why yes, he did.

i know how -- i decided! -- but i don't know when i got to this stronger, healthier, happier, more beautiful place in my life. all i know is that i'm pressing on, the upward way. and i'm grateful.

the kickstarter project

2011-11-28T12:28:00.002-05:00

i just launched my kickstarter project for my as-of-yet unnamed black americana album -- the one i've been working on since my last heartbreak. i don't know why this is making me feel so giddy. everything is rushing in all at once, all of a sudden. everything is converging. it feels like everything is happening, now.

once upon a time when i ran out of money, i'd just go get another crummy job somewhere downtown or whatever, and i'd work it until i got the cash i needed to make my art. but nyc doesn't work that way anymore -- and it hasn't for a very long time. there's crummy jobs but they don't pay enough to make a dent because the cost of living is so fracking high. that means instead of one crummy job, i'd need four crummy jobs. and i don't have it like that. i don't know how to split the space/time continuum to be in four different places at once. i'm batting a thousand when i show up awake and on time and on an even keel for the one crummy job i've got, whatever that is.

i didn't think that i needed kickstarter because that crummy job always came through for me. now that things have shifted, the idea of pre-selling the album makes perfect sense. actually, it always did. with kickstarter, i have a platform to do it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-23T18:02:00.002-05:00

this week's smartypants new yorker cover is by christoph niemann. gobble-gobble!

Happy Veteran's Day!

2011-11-11T11:49:00.001-05:00

A teach-in?

2011-11-07T00:48:00.006-05:00

here's the latest missive from moveon.org -- a teach-in! what a great idea. i think a teach-in is exactly what america needs, en masse. wouldn't it be great if teach-ins began to spring up all over the country?

actually, there are national teach-ins -- on everything from global warming to debt, austerity and corporate greed. it seems that more and more are happening every month -- something for everyone -- with social media making it so accessible, even a total shut in can actively participate. educating the public is one way to win the fight against "corporatocracy". occupy colleges (in solidarity with occupy wall street) organized a national student solidarity teach-in last week. to find a teach-in or host one through the afl-cio for jobs and economic justice, click here.

i can't make it to this one, but i'm going to make every effort to learn all about it...

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The economic collapse didn't happen by accident. It's the direct result of decisions made by Wall Street and our leaders in Washington to prioritize the 1% over everyone else.

If we want to rewrite the rules of our economy so it works for all of us, then understanding those decisions, and how we ended up here, is crucial.

This Wednesday, November 9, you can get answers and build your understanding at the "How the 1% Crashed the Economy" teach-in in Jersey City. An American Dream Movement volunteer is leading a discussion about how the economic collapse is impacting our communities, who caused it, and how we can turn things around.

Can you join the teach-in on Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2011, at 7:00 PM in Jersey City?

Host: Dave S., a fellow MoveOn member
When: Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2011, at 7:00 PM in Jersey City.

The teach-in isn't going to be a dull list of facts and endless charts. You'll hear the story of exactly how the 1% wrecked our economy, the history behind it, and how we can reverse the damage they've done.

The Rebuild the Dream Innovation Fund has put together a presentation, with help from leading progressive economists, for teach-in hosts with information and key historical lessons. But the goal isn't just conveying information, it's bringing together people who want to get involved and
help fix our broken system.

Will you join in on Wednesday in Jersey City? Click here to RSVP.

Thanks for all you do,

--Lenore, Robin, Joan, Carrie, and the rest of the team

Today's Sermon

2011-11-06T16:46:00.002-05:00

today's sermon -- accepting and giving forgiveness -- by pastor ben crandall -- comes to you from the october 18th evening service at times square church. click here for the mp3 and be blessed.

first glimpses of "the hobbit"

2011-11-05T11:11:00.000-04:00

for the fall season, i've moved away from my usual diet of biographies, autobiographies and history books to sink my teeth into the hobbit. now that i'm almost done, mpb says i have to take a nosedive into the lord of the rings and then the silmarillion. anything after that -- and believe me, there's plenty -- is apochyphal, according to him.

it took a sec for me to get used to the rhythm of the language and the names of the characters are a bit clunky but everything was descriptive enough to explode onto my imagination and in no time at all, i was running through the rolling green hills to have tea and toast and good ol' english jam with the hobbit as i rode the subway.

so it was with a great deal of curiousity and some small sense of wonder that i watched the following clips -- glimpses into the creative process behind the film the hobbit: an unexpected journey. (it's in two parts, by the way. it's also in 3D.)

one day in the midst of a bustling tech rehearsal with george wolfe working on harlem song at the apollo -- when we were onstage and inside one of those moments when everything was coming together and falling apart at the same time -- he offhandedly remarked that directing musicals was like storming the beach at normandy. i surmised that this was especially true if you were originating work because you are creating it as you go along. (it takes 7 to 9 years to develop a musical if you're taking the conventional route. george put harlem song together in 7 to 9 weeks.) in this way, contemporary original musicals are a microcosm of what happens on the movie set, especially when it's this ginormous and ambitious and cool. they're basically setting up, feeding and moving a small army from one breathtaking expanse of new zealand after another. it's exhaustive, just thinking about it. and if you include pre-production and post-production, they've been at it for several years, now.

this clip gives a wonderful overview of what's happening on the set and lets the world see the hobbit's little home -- which looks exactly as i imagined it would.

this is director peter jackson's first video blog from the set.

this is the latest production diary/video. it's especially interesting because it delves into the technical aspects of the 3D camera work, what the equipment is like, the renderings and how complicated all of it is to shoot.

Mark Your Calendars

2011-11-04T21:19:00.003-04:00

tomorrow -- november 5th -- is bank transfer day. endorsed but not started by occupy wall street, bank transfer day means exactly that: taking your checking or savings account out of a large corporate bank and putting it in a not-for-profit credit union, community bank, online situation -- whatever blows your hair back and suits your needs financially. actually, that date is more of a deadline, really. the organizers would like for everyone to do this before tomorrow because most big banks are closed on saturdays.

i think this is a pretty effective way to make a strong statement and speak truth to power. i can only imagine the seismic shift that would occur if most people in this country abandoned the likes of citibank and chase wholeheartedly.

i wish someone would sift through all of the banks and make a comprehensive list of the best ones. well, whaddya know -- someone already has.

what, what?

2011-11-03T17:59:00.003-04:00

i had no idea that society, the coffee lounge on a tony section of harlem's frederick douglass blvd -- the one that served such tasty treats as chicken and red velvet waffles (!!!) -- was closed as of october 10th. oh, well. looks like i'll have to have brunch someplace else.

at least the "speakeasy" 67 orange street, its sister location up the block, is still open -- so those red velvet waffles remain an option. here's a note i found online:

Society Coffee…One Last Time… (A note from Karl)

“Dear Loyal Guests,

After seven years of serving the best coffee, red velvet waffles, and shrimp & grits in Harlem, I have made the difficult decision to close Society Coffee on Monday, October 10. A pioneer on Frederick Douglass Blvd, Society has been a true labor of love and a place I’ve called home. Over the years I have shared Society with thousands; I’ve watched people meet each other and fall in love, I’ve watched families begin and grow, deals get done, and business plans get written. I’ve watched college students work, friends hang out, and poets write. I’ve met so many great people who have changed and elevated my life.

Rooted in the richness of the Harlem community and the transformation on Frederick Douglass Boulevard, Society Coffee leaves with a sense of pride and appreciation to all our friends who made each day unique and flavorful. Society has served its purpose and has set neighborhood standards for a new generation in historic Harlem. We were always very close and involved with the community and it remains in our hearts. 67 Orange Street will continue to operate and serve great cocktails.

I would like to personally thank you for all your support these past years. Thanks again for seven great years.

Sincerely,

Karl Franz Williams

Foreign Movies You Really Should See...

2011-11-02T17:29:00.005-04:00

...and yes, they're all french. not that it matters. something in me tends to get giddy over things that intrigue me, and these trailers -- and the blurbs and the buzz that are trailing them in the press -- seem promising. art should excite you, shouldn't it? let's face it: if you and your date don't leave a movie talking about what you've seen, it probably wasn't worth watching.

house of tolerance is about a parisian brothel in the early 20th century. i have no idea what the plot is but here's an interesting tidbit: the soundtrack features the music of the moody blues. now that's ballsy, i'll admit -- especially if they tap into their earlier stuff -- but imagine what they would have had on their hands if they'd used muddy waters stuff instead. or lightnin' hopkins. or big momma thornton. or...

tomboy is about a prepubescent girl that pretends to be a boy. i'd love to see a movie about this. i was a tomboy -- and i still am, pretty much. it wasn't intentional. i was just being myself.

when do you ever see movies about this subject matter? i'm very curious to see how it's handled.

the artist -- a silent movie, shot in black and white, set in the 20s, and filled with foreign actors that most americans aren't familiar with in the least -- is getting a massive push from the bigwigs. it's about two artists and the trajectory of their careers as silent cinema diminishes in popularity and talkies become all the rage.

it's easy to forget that with movies, images are supposed to tell you the story -- not words. watching a modern-day silent movie that harkens back to hollywood's golden era should be a refreshing change of pace.

i wonder: outside of the usual major metropolitan areas, can most people in this country see these films? not that they'd want to but wouldn't it be nice to have the option?

Are you seriously going to eat all that Halloween candy?

2011-11-01T22:08:00.002-04:00

when i was a kid, my brothers and i would go trick-or-treating on halloween and come home triumphantly with shopping bags full of candy. not surprisingly, my mother wouldn't let us eat any of it. and when i say any, what i really mean is none. i distinctly recall coming home from kindergarden to her snacking on quite a bit of it with her one of her girlfriends. the rest was in the trash. i distinctly remember thinking, wow -- adults can do whatever they want. i can also remember thinking that someday when i became an adult, i'd eat all my halloween candy because my mother wouldn't be there to throw it away. consequently, i couldn't wait to be an adult. frankly, i still can't.

it should be duly noted at this point that i've never had a cavity as an adult. on the other hand, one of my older brothers has a mouth that is so riddled with cavities, it looks like ants had a wild west shoot out up in there -- and then they went camping, hence the root canal. go figure.

so it was with genuine curiousity and some real interest that i absorbed an item on the local evening news tonight. get this: you can take your sweet treats to the halloween candy buy back program, sponsored by dentists. there's a little money involved but really, it's a creative exchange. you and/or your kids get hygiene kits, coupons and more. the candy goes to soldiers overseas through operation gratitude. it's a great way to give back.

of course, i'm an adult now -- so i have no intention of giving up my halloween candy, now or ever. i'm way too health conscious (and body conscious) to eat all of it -- but that won't stop me from melting down chocolate for cakes and pies (and mexican hot chocolate!), crushing candy bars for homemade ice cream and sticking whatever i don't use in the freezer. (did you know that unopened frozen dark chocolate will last indefinitely?)

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T11:47:00.001-04:00

it's working!

2011-10-29T23:56:00.005-04:00

my permanent boyfriend gave me the hobbit in paperback last christmas. i found it recently and remembered that i promised myself to read the entire series so i stuck it in my purse, to savor on the train. of course mpb as read all of j.r.r. tolkien's work. and george r.r. martin. and every other geek fantasy writer on the planet. clearly, i've got a lot of catching up to do.

this isn't a competition, you know. i just want to be able to keep up with him when he wanders further into the geek forest than i usually do.

somehow everything goes faster in the subway when i have something interesting to read. or maybe i'm so distracted, i don't care that i've had to wait 20 minutes for the train. all i know is, i opened my book and started reading about those filthy, filthy hobbitses, got on the local and the next thing i knew, i was at 42nd street/times square. the thing is, i was supposed to get out at 50th street -- i was on my way to a matinee for million dollar quartet at new world stages, meeting up with friends and everything, and i was running late. what to do?

as the train came to a stop, i looked out the window at the uptown track and saw the express arriving, and i guessed that the local wouldn't be far behind it. so i did the unthinkable: i sprinted out of the train like a starting gun went off -- down the stairs and through a corridor, around the corner and through a corridor, up a flight of stairs and straight into the local train as it arrived.

as the doors closed and i gathered my wits about me, i stopped short and realized that i wasn't out of breath. not even a little bit. how did that happen? i can remember when i wouldn't have even attempted something like that. or if i had, i would have barely made it to the bottom of the second staircase, holding my side and gasping for air. i actually felt the need to supress a grinn as i mulled all this over. maybe its true, what a workout pal told me some months ago -- that you can make the clock turn backwards and if you work hard enough, you can make it stop.

i made sure my bookmark was in place and made my grand exit at 50th street, bounding up the stairs effortlessly and into the snow, which was falling sideways. wheeeeee! i was happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow.

can i do military pushups yet? nope. can i make it through a boxing conditioning class without crawling to the showers afterwards? nope. but for me to move with such speed and to move that way so abrubtly means that something is falling into place inside me physically. it was confirmation, however slight. all i could think was, its working. all this sweat and muscle ache and falling down and failing up. it's working...!

Black People CAN and DO Swim, Part 2: African-American Firsts

2011-10-22T22:01:00.000-04:00

African-American firsts in competitive swimming history:

◆ The first African- American swimmer to score in an NCAA final was Nate Clark of Ohio State, in 1962.
◆ The first swimmer of African descent to win an Olympic medal was Enith Brigitha of Curacao, Netherlands Antilles. Enith won two individual bronze medals in the 1976 Olympic Games in Montreal. The only swimmers to beat her have since been proven to have used performance enhancing drugs.
◆ In 1981 Charles Chapman became the first African American to swim across the English Channel.
◆ The first African American swimmer to make a US National Team was Chris Silva of UCLA, in 1982.
◆ In 1988, Anthony Nesty, of Surinam and the University of Florida upset favored Matt Biondi to become the first swimmer of African heritage to set an Olympic record and win an Olympic Gold medal.
◆ In 1997 Stanford’s Sabir Muhammad became the first African- American to break an American record.
◆ In 1999 Alison Terry became the first African- American female swimmer to make a US National Team.
◆ In 2000, Anthony Ervin became the first American swimmer of African descent to make the USA Olympic Swimming Team and win an Olympic gold medal.
◆ In 2004, Maritza Corriea became the first woman to make a USA Olympic Team.
◆ In 2005, Genai Kerr and Omar Amr become the first African-American men to make the USA Olympic Water Polo Team.

occupy wall street #4 - one month and one day

2011-10-18T08:45:00.007-04:00

initiated by the canadian activist group adbusters and inspired by the arab spring movement, occupy wall street began in zuccotti park 31 days ago. although political pundits were dismissive initially, occupy wall street has proven to be a well-organized, well-funded machine, global and gaining in momentum and impossible to ignore. everyone that is anyone in washington, dc and the media is being forced to weigh in and assess the situation -- and hardly anyone is getting it right.

one thing is certain: anyone who doesn't know or understand what this movement is about or what they want isn't paying attention.

consider this: on saturday october 15, there were over 1,500 events in 82 countries -- over 100 events in this country alone. if they've managed to do this in a month, what do you think they'll accomplish in a year?

this is a small slice of what happened in times square the other night. question: who is the supergenius that thought it was a great idea to have police on horseback in a crowd of thousands? what if the horse gets excited and rears up or falls or tramples someone?

i especially love the fact that there are so many cameras floating around all over the place. something happens and everyone whips out whatever they've got, even if it's just the one on their phones. they swarm around the action and pow! everyone's got a mini-documentary film going on.

God bless this brother right here -- u.s. marine sargeant shemar thomas. in this video, he verbally castigates the nypd after watching them assault unarmed protesters. sargeant thomas even went so far as to boldly approach them and continue to chew them out. that ballsy move in and of itself alone would have been enough to earn him a beat-down of epic proportions from the blue line. maybe the army of cameras -- and knowing that whatever they did would be on youtube.com the next day -- kept them from wilding out.

stay tuned. clearly, this is only the beginning.

Happy Bosses Day!

2011-10-17T11:39:00.001-04:00

instant hibernation

2011-10-15T23:50:00.000-04:00

i hit a snag and hibernated for most of this week. gathering stuff for graduate school applications, working on this ever blossoming libretto for spring 2012 performances, working with blood on a new idea, decluttering the love nest and throwing stuff away, digging into billie's blues: the billie holiday story 1933 - 1959 by john chilton, watching a new movie every day, auditioning and auditioning and auditioning, mentally preparing for several rounds of oral surgery that begin next week, and editing my closets and refining my personal style for the cold weather season. getting my favorite combination cowboy/motorcycle boots resoled. finding business cards and old letters and keys for doors long forgotten all over the place. everything must be sifted through carefully and assessed, and then everything must go. well. almost everything.

everything is shifting slowly and yet ever so drastically, and i'm not ready. i haven't been to boxing conditioning class in days -- and i can feel it. i should get my piano tuned, practice the guitar more. what happened to my beautiful uptown songwriting circle?

the rest of the year will find me elegantly well-appointed, dressed mostly in vintage, up to my neck in rewrites and in a great deal of physical pain, eschewing most if not all of my daily boxing rituals and drinking my meals through a straw. i'll have to cut back on the excercise. i won't have the energy for it. i have no intention of giving up occasional jaunts to speakeasies, burlesque shows, pie contests, korean day spas or teatime. because fun isn't overrated, no matter how broke you are.

looking forward to wandering through the new york city comic con tomorrow afternoon before evening services at tsc, a long walk afterwards and of course, tea.

occupy wall street #3 - another moveon.org missive

2011-10-14T23:14:00.003-04:00

there are over 1,500 cities participating in occupy events. find one at http://www.occupytogether.org or http://www.meetup.com/occupytogether

i'm not sure that i'll make it to the wall street protests tomorrow -- i'd like to go and take pictures, at least -- but for those who'd like to know what's up, here's some interesting information from moveon.org.

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Have you heard the incredible news?

Thanks to the unflinching commitment of the Occupy Wall Street protesters, and support from New Yorkers and hundreds of thousands of people across the country, they won their fight this morning to continue the occupation of Zuccotti Park . ¹

Mayor Bloomberg and Brookfield Properties, the real estate conglomerate that owns Zuccotti Park, backed down on their threat to evict the protesters in the face of massive public opposition.

This morning, we saw what happens when hundreds of thousands of us mobilize. So now, Occupy Wall Street is calling for a global day of action tomorrow against Wall Street greed , with events in more than 950 cities and 82 countries. ²

But New York is the flagship city for this growing movement, so it's crucial that we show up tomorrow. There are two main occupation solidarity events in New York—come to either, or both!

Stand for the Dream Against Chase Bank
When: Saturday, October 15, 11 a.m.
Where: Liberty Plaza, Church St. and Cedar St.
What: A day of action against Chase Bank

The Occupation Party
When: Saturday, October 15, 5 p.m.
Where: Times Square
What: A stunning moment of hope and solidarity (wear white)

After the news hit that the Occupy Wall Street protesters would be effectively evicted from Zuccotti Park, the call went out across the country.

300,000 MoveOn members signed an emergency petition to Mayor Bloomberg in less than 24 hours , which was delivered to the park and City Hall last night. Tens of thousands of people across the country put in calls to the city, demanding that the protesters be allowed to stay.

And at 6 this morning, thousands of MoveOn members, union workers, community organizers, and other brave New Yorkers swelled the ranks of the protesters, standing with them shoulder-to-shoulder against their impending eviction.

Most incredible were the 99% protesters themselves. They stood their ground, in the best traditions of nonviolent resistance. And in an amazing show of organization and action, they undertook a full-scale cleaning of the park, taking away the false pretext of a "cleaning operation" under which Brookfield and the city were threatening to evict them.

It will only get better, so join one of Saturday's solidarity actions in New York tomorrow.

Stand for the Dream Against Chase Bank
When: Saturday, October 15, 11 a.m.
Where: Liberty Plaza, Church St. and Cedar St.
What: A day of action against Chase Bank

The Occupation Party
When: Saturday, October 15, 5 p.m.
Where: Times Square
What: A stunning moment of hope and solidarity (wear white)

Thanks for all you do.

–Justin, Sarah, Elena, Stefanie, and the rest of the team

P.S. To make sure you're kept up-to-date on urgent Occupy actions, like the threatened eviction this morning, click here to sign up for SMS alerts on Occupy Wall Street.

Sources:

1. "Occupy Wall Street Protesters Hold On To Zuccotti Park For Another Day," Huffington Post, October 14, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=265350&id=32008-1286937-xULSkpx&t=7

2. "#OWS VICTORY: The people have prevailed, gear up for the global day of action," OccupyWallStreet, October 14, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=265351&id=32008-1286937-xULSkpx&t=8

occupy wall street #2: the live feed!

2011-10-13T13:22:00.007-04:00

according to gil-scott heron, the revolution will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised - but that doesn't mean it won't be on the internet. now you can be in the thick of it all, whether you're all the way across the country or all the way across town.

i hope the whole world is watching when the cops clear everyone out of the park tomorrow morning, so it can be cleaned. i suppose it doesn't matter that everyone is cleaning it now. it's surprisingly organized down there.

Watch live streaming video from occupywallstnyc at livestream.com

too bad i missed tom morello's performance in liberty park as his acoustic guitar-slingin' alter ego the nightwatchman but i had an audition that wouldn't wait.

i leave you with a few powerful remarks from gil-scott heron -- because there's just way too many intelligent, educated and supposedly well-informed people in this country who don't know who he is.

stuff that happens before a legit audition

2011-10-12T11:40:00.001-04:00

in today's audition, i must use my legit (otherwise known as legitimate) voice -- something that traditional musical theater requires. this voice is operatic, open and full.

that's a little sticky for me today because i've got some mucus rattling around in my throat, and it won't leave. maybe it's the cheese i had yesterday. maybe it's the milk in my tea. maybe it's the fact that i left the bedroom window open the other night when the temperature dropped so abrubtly. i don't want to wait for an agent submission for this one. i want to make sure my hat is in the ring, now.

according to aea audition rules, this is an open call. that's cool. no one (that i know of, anyway) is born with an equity card. we were all non-union once upon a time. they start seeing women at 10am. that means they call names and numbers from the sign-in sheet by 9:30am. that means i should leave home by 8:30am to be sure that i get there by 9:30am. that means i should get up by 7:30am to give me and my voice time to wake up and warm up before i leave the house.

it's gray, damp and raining, and it's so early, it's still dark outside. i've already put the kettle on. i'm starting to vocalize and move around to loosen up physically. i give myself an hour to sink into things and let my voice wake up. i showered and shaved last night, so i can have this gigantic cup of tea and not think about anything. unfortunately, i can't stop thinking. i've laid out what i'm going to wear but i don't like it anymore. momentary panic ensues. all of a sudden, i have no clothes.

if it weren't so soggy outside, i'd go for a quick run in riverbank state park. nothing gets rid of that nervous edgy feeling like physical exhaustion. after a few miles, i'm quite literally too tired to care. but that can't happen today. there's no time for a quick pit-stop at the gym, either. i have to pack a bag. usually it's a small suitcase. it's basically as many outfits that i need for all of my auditions. this is all that's happening for today, so i pack heels, wear flats and dress appropriately. i also pack sheet music (sometimes that means bringing my book), headshot, makeup and whatever else i can think of. like breath mints.

i get out by 9am and somehow magically, i get there before 10am. and that's where the rubber hits the road...

more la baker

2011-10-11T09:50:00.000-04:00

i've read a bio or two about josephine baker. i know the trajectory of her life, stateside and in paris -- her poverty stricken childhood in east st. louis, her initial successes, her delusions, her children, that bombastic ego, her downfall, her triumphant return -- but whenever i see her take the stage, it shakes me to my core. in the clips from the 60s and 70s, she is clearly not a young woman by any far stretch of the imagination. and yet, she is gorgeous, she is vibrant, she is sexy, with this lean, toned body that's so full of energy and vim, it's absolutely astonishing. as a performer, she's even more of a powerhouse than eartha kitt -- and that's saying quite a lot.

some time ago, someone told me that i reminded them of josephine baker. i didn't really get it at the time. they said that it's because i like to talk to the audience spontaneously, especially when things go wrong onstage. apparently, miss baker was a regular chatty cathy, too. i can't stand the idea of a dead mic. if something goes wrong, it's my job to deal with it head-on -- not walk off-stage until it gets fixed. if people got off the couch and paid good hard earned money to come and see me perform, the least i can do is give them a show.

they said that like la baker, i tend to drift towards elegance when i sing onstage. who doesn't look pulled together in a gown? i'm not so sure how far i delve into fantasy, though. clearly, she's a showgirl of the highest order, at all times. sylvester is definitely the male embodiment of that aspect of her performance. he actually met her before she died and she told him, it's all about the fantasy, give them the fantasy.

i'm kind of annoyed that she's wearing pants in the first clip because her legs are kind of fantastic.

there is something buoyant about all the charm she displays in these clips. so highbrow and yet so accessible and real. she looks like someone who should hold themselves away from you and yet she reaches out to you warmly, wanting to hold onto you, wide-eyed and friendly and smiling incessantly.

i know the following video says it's from the 50s but it was actually shot in the 60s. la baker was nearly 60 years old. (!!!)

Reconsider Columbus Day

2011-10-10T11:00:00.000-04:00

They lied to you in school. Christopher Columbus was an obsessively cruel religious zealot, a genocidal maniac responsible for slaughtering millions of natives in the Americas in the most violent ways imaginable and initiating the slave trade. Oh -- and he was also a heroin addict. No one knows what he actually looks like. Most historians aren't even sure what his real name is. He may not even be Italian.

It's no small wonder that many Americans would prefer not to celebrate Columbus Day. There is a growing movement to reconsider this holiday, see it for what it is and deconstruct it entirely for a day that honors people of color. The state of South Dakota has officially changed Columbus Day to Native American Day. Meanwhile, 22 states refuse to recognize this holiday.

Now, that's the kind of stuff that makes me proud to be an American. If you agree, you can sign the online petition to create a national holiday for Native Americans.

Here's a few fun facts about Christopher Columbus that will probably blow your hair back, if you've got any. How much of this did you learn in school?

Columbus was a fervent Catholic who believed God had chosen him for a great destiny -- but his folks may have been "conversos" -- converted Spanish Jews!
Christopher Columbus’ real name is not Christopher Columbus, although interestingly, that's the name that he chose for himself. His name varies from country to country. In Genoa (his birthplace, supposedly) it's Chrisoffa Corombo. Some historians claim that Columbus was in reality a Portuguese Jew whose real name was Salvador Fernandes Zarco.
Columbus wrote in Spanish -- not Italian or Latin! -- his entire life. (See #1 and #2.)
Columbus began sailing at the age of 14.
Columbus never wanted to prove the Earth was round because everyone already knew it. His goal was to find an overseas trade route to India and China. Thanks to their proximity to the Mediterranean Sea, Italy controlled trade to the East -- so they weren't all that excited about him looking for a new route.
It was Columbus' younger brother Bartholomew’s idea to sail across the ocean -- not his.
Contrary to popular myth, Spain's Queen Isabella never sold her jewelry to pay for Columbus's voyage. She and King Ferdinand financed the trip partly through investors -- Italian investors! (See #5.)
Columbus made four trips west but he never actually set foot on U.S. soil. Initially, he landed on an island in the Bahamas.
Columbus always insisted -- in spite of mounting evidence to the contrary -- that the land he "discovered" was a part of the Asian continent, as described by Marco Polo and other European explorers.
Columbus is responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent men, women, children and infants in The New World. He's the one who opened the door for Cortez the Killer and many other European explorers to sail to the west and decimate the indigenous people of the Americas. He all but wiped out the Tainos, the pre-Columbian inhabitants of the Bahamas, Greater Antilles, and the northern Lesser Antilles. They were beaten, tortured, raped, enslaved and murdered. According to Ward Churchill, former professor of ethnic studies at the University of Colorado: By 1496, the Taino population had been reduced from as many as eight million to around three million. In 1514, a census showed only 22,000 Taino remained alive. By 1542 there were only 200 remaining and after that, they were considered extinct, as was becoming more and more the case throughout the Caribbean basin. The Taino are NOT extinct, by the way.
Columbus was the new world's first slave trader. Failing at finding enough gold to pay investors in in his second voyage, Columbus returned to Spain with 500 Arawaks (Tainos) of which 300 survived to be sold “naked as the day they were born.”
Columbus reintroduced horses to the West. YES, there were horses here some 12,ooo years before the Spaniards showed up with Mustangs that went feral and ran wild across the plains. Scientific evidence shows that although the horse (equues ferus) originated in North America and thrived here for over 57 million years, they died out after the Pleistocene era. There are interesting theories as to what may have happened.
Columbus was an opium addict -- the same drug used in producing modern-day heroin. (This wasn't unusual in the 1400s. The King and Queen of Spain were hooked, too.)
Paintings depicting Columbus are not based on his actual looks. He is said to have light eyes, freckles and red hair.

Today's Sermon

2011-10-09T12:16:00.003-04:00

today's sermon -- don't despise the day of small endings, by pastor carter conlon -- comes to you from this morning's 10am service at times square church in new york city. click here for the mp3 and be blessed.

occupy wall street #1: mr. jesse lagreca - fox news' worst nightmare

2011-10-08T22:05:00.000-04:00

am i the last person on earth to see the fox news interview of mr. jesse lagreca that happened earlier this week? the one they refused to air?

todd the merman told me about this interview in passing earlier today when i was wandering through the brooklyn flea with him and mpb. to tell you the truth, i almost didn't believe him. it sounded like something he made up: a generic looking fox news producer named griff jenkins plunges into the crowd in the heart of occupy wall street territory to find someone that will answer a few basic questions about the movement. sounds easy, right? especially easy when you think of the way fox news tends to twist questions and tilt everything towards their side of the argument.

he ends up with what looks like a fairly harmless victim -- an expressionless, clean shaven, pudgy looking white guy in a civil war cap. who would have guessed that guy was jesse lagreca, a freelance writer and frequent commentator for the daily kos. mr. lagreca proceeded to give this producer a gigantic smackdown of epic proportions politically on camera that has reverberated around the world, one internet click at a time.

of course, fox refused to air the footage. this from the "fair and balanced" network, after the producer said that they were there to give voice to whatever he had to say. (and yes, he said that on camera.) that's okay, though, because someone shot the interview. that footage exploded onto the internet and now media outlets all over the planet are interviewing mr. lagreca, including abc news' this week with christiane amanpour on sunday. i can't wait to hear what he's got to say next.

if you'd like to read a transcription of the following video, click here.

...and here's a pretty cool follow up interview.

Happy Yom Kippur!

2011-10-07T11:30:00.000-04:00

Finally! -- The Sister Rosetta Tharpe Documentary

2011-10-06T07:57:00.006-04:00

sister rosetta tharpe was an internationally recognized powerhouse performer and guitar-slinger that infused the rock 'n roll she played with gospel lyrics. although she was versatile -- she sang and played jazz with big bands -- she was the very first gospel recording star, with a heyday that began in the 30s and 40s and continued through the 60s. combining the sacred with the secular may not be a big deal to many but for some, this was (and still is) absolutely unthinkable. sister tharpe did it first, way before ray charles or even sly stone -- and she set rock 'n roll in motion, way before chuck berry or even little richard. the fact that a black woman did this on guitar can't possibly be overemphasized enough. and yes -- in a genre (rock 'n roll) that was (and still is) a (white) boy's club, she was formidable.

i have always admired sister tharpe. she has inspired me to become a guitarist. if they make a biopic of her (and someone should), i want to star in it. on second thought, maybe i should hurry up and get famous, so i can make that movie myself.

absolutely anyone that thinks they know anything about popular music and rock and roll in this day and age should know who she is. if they don't, they are missing the mark, and then some.

i highly recommend the biography shout, sister shout! the untold story of rock and roll trailblazer sister rosetta tharpe by gayle f. wald. until you get ahold of that book, here's sister tharpe's documentary, in its entirety -- only about an hour long and well worth watching.

stew and the negro problem, and then some

2011-10-05T09:18:00.001-04:00

looking forward to seeing some great performances this month. last night was stew and tonight is bridget everett and the tender moments, both at the new and improved joe's pub.

here's a taste of stew and the negro problem, along with something of an explanation as to who he is and what he's about.

for your viewing pleasure

2011-10-04T10:10:00.000-04:00

now that october is upon us, it's time for halloween: stocking up on candy for the kiddies that may stop by or the neighborhood thugs that will invariably bang on the door; pulling together a costume from out of your own closet so you won't have to get something generic and pricey from ricky's; haunted houses that really scare you; and scary movies that sometimes freak you out way after the fact.

halloween is one of the nights i almost always stay home if i'm in new york city. everything seems so safe these days, even in the ghetto. but it's still new york city, no matter how sanitized everything is. i mean, honestly. if you want the suburbs, move to long island.

there are a lot of scary movies out there -- this is a list of 50 of the (supposedly) most popular ones of all time -- but nothing is more frightening to most folks than the truth. with that in mind, here's a few documentaries to consider when it's time to make some kettlecorn and dim the lights.

ah, yes -- h.h. holmes: america's first serial killer. at first glance, he looks a little too much like daniel day-lewis' bill the butcher, blue eyes and all. the bestseller the devil in the white city entwines his gorey antics with daniel h. burnham, the architect of the chicago world's fair. i don't know what creeped me out more -- the elaborate hotel he built to efficiently murder travelers or the fact that he tortured, killed and dissected small animals as a child.

this one is pretty disturbing -- the iceman interviews. with an expressionless face, infamous mob hitman richard kuklinski recounts one murder after another in this unaffected monotone that should guarantee at least one solid nightmare after viewing. you know what's really creepy? this guy spent his last few years of freedom with his wife and three children in a new jersey suburb.

...and of course, no halloween eve should end without ed gein: the ghoul of plainfield. if you don't know who this is, you are the unibomber, living in a cave, cut off from society and all that rot. can you believe ed died in 1984? i mean, wow. that's kind of recent...

watch out -- this one is hella graphic. (sure, it's halloween when you'll see this so you're expecting gore of some kind. i'm jus' sayin'...)

any creepy documentaries on your list? please recommend a few. i'm always looking for more...

an open letter from moveon.org...

2011-10-03T02:44:00.008-04:00

when i got this email from moveon.org, i couldn't resist the urge to blog it.
please read this. please participate, if you can. (i'm thinking about showing
up and taking a few photos.) and please repost. (everyone should
know about this...)

------------------------------------------------

We're going to stage a massive "Virtual March on Wall Street"
online to show our support for the Occupy Wall Street protests
this Wednesday. Sign up to join hundreds of thousands of voices
of solidarity and help show just how widespread the outrage
Wall Street really is.

Over the last two weeks, an amazing wave of protest against Wall Street
and the big banks has erupted across the country.

In Seattle, San Francisco, Ohio, and Boston (where 3,000 people rallied),1
grassroots groups have shut down banks and held sit-ins to demand that
giant banks pay their fair share of taxes, end the foreclosure crisis, and
create jobs.

In financial centers like Chicago and Atlanta, hundreds of people have set
up encampments in front of major financial institutions for
round-the-clock demonstrations.

Outside Los Angeles, community members have been running a 24-hour vigil
around the home of Rose Gudiel, who faces eviction after getting
foreclosed on for being two weeks late on a mortgage payment after her
younger brother was murdered.2

But the biggest protests are on Wall Street itself. "Occupy Wall Street,"
which began with a brave group of young people, has swelled to thousands
of students, unemployed folks, union members, and others who have
persevered through intense police harassment and mass arrests to sustain a
rolling 24-hour-a-day protest against the bankers who've wrecked our
economy and undermined our democracy.3

On Wednesday, MoveOn members will join labor and community groups in New
York City for a huge march down to the protest site--the biggest yet.

And because we can't all be in New York, we're going to stage a massive
"Virtual March on Wall Street" online with our friends at Rebuild the
Dream. Together, we'll add hundreds of thousands of voices of solidarity
from the American Dream Movement for the protests across the country and
show just how widespread outrage at the Wall Street banks really is.

Click here to sign up to join the Virtual March on Wall Street this
Wednesday

The protests on Wall Street have been running for two weeks straight and
are only getting bigger every day. The signs, placards, and chants focus
on standing up for what the protesters are calling "the 99%" of us who are
suffering while Wall Street bankers grow richer by the day.

In a telling moment last week, a group of bankers even went so far as to
mock the protests while sipping champagne from balconies overlooking
thousands of people marching down Wall Street.4

But adding mockery to the callous disregard for our country that we've
seen from the big banks isn't slowing down the Occupy Wall Street movement
one bit. The protests on Wall Street are set to grow even more this week
and solidarity actions are already planned in dozens more cities.

You can see what's planned in your area by visiting the solidarity site
Occupy Together: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264645&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=11

And you can sign up to add your voice to the national "Virtual March on
Wall Street" online here:
http://www.civic.moveon.org/joinvirtualwallstreet/?id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=12

Thanks for all you do.

--Justin, Robin, Peter, Elena, and the rest of the team

Sources:

1. "BofA's Boston Building Draws Protesters; 21 Arrests Are Made,"
bloomberg.com, September 30, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264642&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=13

2. "La Puente Family Fights Eviction from Foreclosed Home," KTLA.com,
September 29, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264643&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=14

3. "Anti-Wall Street Protestors Vow to Keep Up Fight," Reuters, October 2,
2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264644&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=15

4. "Occupy Wall Street Protestors Meet Champagne Sippers," abcnews.com,
September 30, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264649&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=16

References

Visible links
.. http://www.civic.moveon.org/joinvirtualwallstreet/?id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=10
.. http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264645&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=11
.. http://www.civic.moveon.org/joinvirtualwallstreet/?id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=12
.. http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264642&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=13
.. http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264643&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=14
.. http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264644&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=15
.. http://www.moveon.org/r?r=264649&id=31654-1286937-W4A_otx&t=16

Today's Sermon

2011-10-02T13:15:00.000-04:00

today's sermon, when healing comes from a broken place, comes to you from pastor william carrol of times square church, deep in the heart of the theater district in new york city. click here for the mp3. listen and be blessed.

unbelievable but true!

2011-10-02T00:32:00.000-04:00

crime really doesn't pay, does it.

this guy got sandwiched in between two buildings when a robbery in patterson, nj went wrong. (brilliant, right?) at first glance, i can't even begin to imagine exactly how he ended up here -- or how they got him out.

...between...

2011-10-01T11:22:00.002-04:00

nablopomo's theme for the month of october is between. of course, that could mean anything. my immediate thought is of indian summer -- that strange expanse in between fall and winter that can bring stunningly beautiful sunny breezy blue sky days or an absolute water-logged slosh fest. or both! in nyc, you get the full visual spectrum of the changing seasons. a constant sunny blue sky year round sounds like fun but it seems abnormal, somehow. kind of like dealing with someone who grins at you all the time. after awhile, wouldn't you think there was something wrong with that?

all those women in that movie a boy and his dog with their pasty faces and painted on overly rosy cheeks and lipstick. full of sunshine, totally disturbing and strange. i guess that's why some people have a fear of clowns. that fear is called coulrophobia, by the way. geez. i guess there really is a name for everything.

if you haven't seen a boy and his dog, it's worth watching. here's the promo. it stars a very young (and very pretty) don johnson.

nyc avalanche

2011-09-19T21:03:00.001-04:00

i'm up to my neck in rewrites for next week's show at dixon place and another funky fresh idea that i can't stop thinking about, i'm decluttering the apartment a little every day and editing my closets in anticipation of fall/winter, i'm assembling everything i'll need to make a cool video for my kickstarter campaign to finish my black americana album and all i can think of, aside from how slow i am in boxing conditioning class when i'm doing mitt work and how badly i need a mani/pedi, is this bread pudding recipe. that bourbon sauce looks potent.

i'm almost afraid to make it because i'll just eat most of it, so the next dinner party is going to get a nice big one, hot and fresh. in the meantime, i'm bringing letitia a green tomato pie to our brooklyn rehearsal tomorrow night. won't she be pleased?

in the meantime, the great news is that i'm running 2 miles a day -- pushing towards hitting a 10 minute mile. i hate running, so i figure if i do a mile right after each boxing conditioning class and get it overwith, i'll raise my stamina considerably. somehow, after wearing myself out so thoroughly and leaving the room with an all over ache that only a long sitdown in a steam room can get rid of, running that fast for that long is nothing.

"what do you do in boxing class, anyway?"

2011-09-18T18:44:00.007-04:00

aside from pounding that bag, some simple stretches, variations on the push up, the sit up and the jump squat -- and of course running around the room and up and down staircases ad nauseum -- exactly what kind of excercise do i do in a circuit boxing class?

i'm glad you asked.

here's a few videos to illustrate some of what usually happens in an hour. i try really hard to do two sessions a day. there are some days when i'll do three, if things flow a certain way. the thing is, there is usually someone calling me out by name if i'm not giving 100% the whole time i'm in that room. and i'm in there for what feels like an eternity. for some reason, i have this bad habit of looking at the clock when i think a fair amount of time has passed -- probably because i'm sweating so hard i can't see -- and wow, its only been 10 frackin' minutes.

the routine i'm in now leaves room for three trainers: gennaro (who may as well be a negro and who yells a lot), negro (who isn't a negro and who mumbles a lot) and jay (who is from long island -- nuff said). sometimes there is george and sometimes there is son of gennaro. no longer do i wander off with anyone i don't know. i don't want any surprises anymore.

i've made a lot of progress physically and i've lost some weight but i still feel as though i've got to get in shape on some basic level so i can get through the whole class without having to stop because i feel as though i'm going to pass out. or die. when i can zip through class comfortably, i will believe that i'm in shape.

until then, here's what i'm up against.

mountain climbers -- this sister gives a great explanation of the right way to do this one. unbelievable, the way it wears my upper body out, in short order.

bear crawl -- we have to do this around the room over and over, and we have to drop and do this over and over and sometimes, he (that is, gennaro) makes us leave the room and do this around the gym over and over. the closer to the ground you get, the more effective it is.

spiderman crawl -- an especially foul move for me because i don't have much upper body strength. and like the bear crawl, the lower you get, the harder it works you.

burpee or squat thrust -- named after dr. royal burpee, this basic movement is the foundation for the burpee test. now there are variations that have found many colorful and interesting ways for me to throw my legs out from under me abrubtly, or repeatedly spring off the ground in short bursts of energy. no small wonder. burpees require agility, speed, coordination and a ton of core strength.

body builders -- he (that is, gennaro) makes me do 100 of these whenever i'm late for class. they are beyond gnarly. this video shows otherwise, but we do a jumping jack that falls into a plank and then a push up and back again. and you know what? i don't walk out. i take it like a man and i do the 100. sometimes he'll stop me before i'm done but lately he's been leaning on me...

focus mitt work -- this is really important because its makeshift boxing against an unknown opponent. the trainer is like a choreographer, putting together combinations on the fly that force me to move with speed and power. in a perfect world, i get used to moving at the torso, blocking shots and letting my movements flow with technique and form.

shadowboxing with weights -- this is what i really feel the next day. throwing my arms out there, even with three pound weights in my hands, is a burning sensation that just won't let up. sometimes he (that is, negro) makes us run around the room and shadowbox with weights.

why do i love boxing so much? i seriously don't know. it's physically way more challenging than anything i've ever done. and maybe that's it, maybe the physical exhaustion and growth is impacting the rest of me so completely, i can't relinquish it. sure, it feels good to hit people -- but it also feels good to get good at it. i can look in the mirror and see wonderful changes coming on. that's a kick in the head.

i love it that boxing is genderless. it's not something that belongs to boys. it's all technique -- and to my way of thinking, that levels the playing field completely. the bottom line is, either you can fight or you can't.

where it takes me is anyone's guess. how long will it take me to get my true body? who knows. what i know for sure is that i'm going to get great at boxing because i can't stop doing it. i can't give it up.

the latest top five

2011-09-02T19:37:00.000-04:00

these are the top five entries on my blog in the past few months. enjoy.

happy september, everyone!

2011-09-01T11:43:00.000-04:00

if you are african-american, if you lived through the 80s and if you aren't skipping through gotham in this gorgeous breezy blue sky sunshiny day and singing this song somewhere in your soul, you're a zombie. this is the theme song for the season.

one of the beautiful things about living in nyc is that you actually get to have seasons, and if you hold still long enough, you get to watch them happen. september is a transitional moment, heralding indian summer and all hallows eve.

even my grandma loved earth wind and fire back in the day...! here's your slice.

Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the mind of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember - how the stars stole the night away, yeah yeah yeah.

Hey hey hey,
Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

Ba duda, ba duda, ba duda, badu
Ba duda, badu, ba duda, badu
Ba duda, badu, ba duda

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember - how we knew love was here to stay

Now December found the love that we shared in September.
Only blue talk and love,
Remember - the true love we share today

Hey hey hey
Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day.......there was a
Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days

Now our bell was ringing, aha
Our souls were singing.
Do you remember every cloudy day - yau !

There was a
Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day.......there was a
Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days

Ba de ya de ya de ya
Ba de ya de ya de ya
Ba de ya de ya de ya - De ya.....

cleaning it up and clearing it out

2011-08-31T10:13:00.000-04:00

i am bound and determined to clear out the pesky junk room in this apartment, once and for all. initially, it was a second bedroom that was a terrific rehearsal space for me and a makeshift office/mancave for mpb. somewhere along the way, i started sticking stuff in there until after awhile, i couldn't really open the door. last week i looked through one of the window panes and could hardly see the floor. how did it come to this? once upon a time, it was a place we both spent time in and then all of a sudden, it wasn't. well, i don't care anymore. i want it cleaned up, cleared out and organized.

it's unbelievable to some that i have this much space in new york city, but it's fairly common in harlem. i've seen some amazing spots up here. actually, my place is a little nook compared to some of the cavernous apartments in my building.

nothing gets it done like a deadline, so this weekend will be my last chance to knock it out of the block. i've spent the last few days shredding junk mail and sorting through business cards, bits of paper and whatnot, and something like 7 years of receipts. at least that's the first layer of stuff. the next layer is a little more stubborn. but everyday, there's less and less. the more i sort through, the further down the rabbit hole i go. lots of old letters and postcards to reread that make me think and wish and wonder.

the truth is, nothing gets it done like deciding to get it done. you have to want it. it's just that simple.

once all this is settled, you'll see shocked and amazed by the before and after photos. (actually, so will i.) next project: editing my closets, tim gunn style, followed by end of the season donations to the salvation army.

so far, i've shredded 3 garbage bags of paperwork, which made me feel like a total hoarder. that's probably what's motivating all this: i've seen one too many episodes of hoarders and when i find myself incapable of throwing things away, i think maybe i'm turning into one of those people -- which of course could have me pulling a howard hughes in my old age.

getting everything up and off the ground is paramount. tomorrow, mpb is going to put a hook in the ceiling for his 15 speed bike.and i'm going to cut that junk pile in half.

august in retrograde -- or irene, good night

2011-08-29T18:37:00.000-04:00

i tried to stay home all month, like an urban hermit that's taken a vow of antipeople: just me, my guitar and my bright ideas. i have no idea why. something instinctively compelled me to close the door upon myself. in retrospect, it wasn't a bad notion -- not this august, anyway. it was oppressively hot, dangerously hot. so hot, it felt as though the sun pummeled me about the head and shoulders with a bright yellow sledgehammer whenever i went outside. running around at night was no fun, either. the heat was still on and on and on, muted yet insolent enough to sass me, with the kind of sweat that made my entire backside sticky mere minutes after i stepped into it.

navigating the city on the weekends was unthinkable. there's just too many drunken idiots out there, trying desperately to dress like they're in new york city and pushing hard to make sure they have some kind of new york city fun. it's exhausting, just being around them. in the end, they're the epitome of the generic and the average and the ordinary that they're attempting to escape. why? because there is no escaping who or what you really are. to paraphrase the great john lee hooker, it's in you -- whatever it is -- and it's gots to come out. especially if it's your culturally condoned incompetence.

as if all of that weren't enough -- and you know it is -- there's more: mercury was in retrograde for practically the entire month. it seems that everything is crawling out from under that introspective boulder right about now. not that i co-sign astrology but when i read it from my comfy bunker in harlem, it seemed to explain a lot. and yes -- if you're enough of a hippie enough to know what any of that means, you probably wanted to stay home and avoid the world, too.

yes, of course there's the stuff that's absolutely necessary. church. boxing. foraging for victuals at the dominican grocery store up the street. the rest was extra and although there were some things that couldn't be avoided -- a weekend getaway, perhaps or a get together with friends -- i zipped home as fast as my well-toned legs would carry me.

yet and still, i felt compelled to hibernate. this special month of record breaking heat waves, golf ball-sized hail and water main break flooding, topped off by a hurricane found me at home, growing things -- working on the libretto for the billie holiday project (it goes up in september at dixon place), practicing guitar, vocalizing with my slightly out of tune piano, making several submission deadlines for all kinds of stuff and writing more songs and lyrics.

hurricane irene turned out to be the icing on my summer cake.

i can't even tell you how many southern relatives called me, laughing at the yankees they saw on the news who were frolicking on the beach under such ominous skies, and ignoring warnings from the police and fire department. my aunt in charleston south carolina told me one supergenius somewhere on the jersey shore remarked that he lived on the second floor of his building, so he would be fine. hilarious!

for everyone in her neck of the woods, hurricane season is just starting. they've got another two months or so to live through -- bracing themselves the same way some yankees did: shopping for food, taping up windows, filling the tub with water, unplugging everything, burrowing themselves in shelters or leaving the state entirely, well into the month of november. they do it every year during hurricane season. it's a way of life.

how well i remember the many hurricanes of my southern childhood, when we would turn off all the lights and throw open all the windows and unplug everything and gather in the den and pray. even a summer storm could turn violent and deadly. all of us -- cousins and uncles and aunts and my grandparents -- huddled together in the darkness. we were so collectively solemn and profoundly unshaken for the most part, even when the lightning would streak across the sky and a powerful clap of thunder would follow, and shake the ground itself.

listen, my grandfather would say, after an especially loud jolt would rattle me all the way down to my little girl bones, and i would shudder involunarily. it was almost as though my body knew to be scared, even if i didn't. listen, he murmured softly, holding his pipe between his thumb and first finger, the ashes glowing in the darkness. he would lean forward and point at me and give me a knowing look. listen, he would say. God is talking.

apropos of nothing, i leave you with one of my favorite neil young songs, like a hurricane. what a beautiful love song.

...no, i haven't seen "the help" -- yet...

2011-08-13T10:27:00.008-04:00

the buzz about the help has been growing to a decidedly two toned fever pitch -- at least on the black hand side. the reviews, from armand white's entertaining empathy to valerie boyd's the help: a feel-good movie for white people have been interesting, to say the least. what some black bloggers have said is especially insightful. the book has sold well over 3 million copies so far and it's been translated into 35 languages. because of the the success of the book, the movie will certainly find box office gold. if it's anywhere near as lopsided as everyone says it is, those sales statistics are pretty frightening because that means this southern white socialite's ignorant pap about who we are as black women is being shmeared all over the world.

that's got a super high creep factor for me -- something you'd know a lot about if you're black and you've ever turned on the tv in a foreign country and seen sanford and son or good times running ad nauseum, complete with an elaborate foreign "negro" voiceovers.

i'm going to see the help -- and yes, i'll probably read the book -- for a myriad of reasons. the first one is pretty obvious: as a professional actor, i'm a part of the entertainment industry. it would behoove me to see and hear what's out there, especially as it relates to me as a person of color. most of the artists that i know in this industry of any genre that are on top of their game are all about paying attention to everything that's going on, whether it's a top 40 album or an off-broadway show. it's all the same industry, it's all entertainment.

i also have a big fear of being an ignorant actor -- someone that doesn't really know anything at all about the world they work in, much less the world itself. i want to be able to intelligently discuss and dissect ideas amongst my thinking peers. i don't want to be uninformed. i don't understand how any thinking person can criticize any work of art that they haven't seen or read. when that happens, what's really being attacked is the idea of what that art represents and not the work itself. that's not good enough, not for me.

and last but not least, i really need to be able to give a very straight answer to anyone i'll inevitably meet who will see this movie and may perhaps subconsciously view it as a documentary and not a work of fiction. i don't need to see a documentary about the help. my grandmother worked as a maid for years. all my life, i learned what it was really like, straight from her. i sometimes rode an early morning city bus to school with domestics. the stories they told haphazardly were unforgettable. even now, i am surrounded by elders who continue to set me straight, with the truth.

apparently, viola davis agrees with me. her mother was a maid. so was her grandmother.

haven't we had enough contemporary race relations movies with long suffering black maids that's told from a white perspective? wait, what? you don't remember the long walk home, with whoopi goldberg?

while i fully understand the concept of artistic and/or creative license, i often wonder what these these films would be like if we as black folk created them, or at least had more of a hand in their development. what do you think the help would be like if a (southern) black woman wrote it? or adapted the screenplay? or directed it?

i've included a well-informed response to the film from the association of black women historians. please pass it along. you probably know someone that really needs to read it.

An Open Statement to the Fans of The Help:

On behalf of the Association of Black Women Historians (ABWH), this statement provides historical context to address widespread stereotyping presented in both the film and novel version of The Help. The book has sold over three million copies, and heavy promotion of the movie will ensure its success at the box office. Despite efforts to market the book and the film as a progressive story of triumph over racial injustice, The Help distorts, ignores, and trivializes the experiences of black domestic workers. We are specifically concerned about the representations of black life and the lack of attention given to sexual harassment and civil rights activism.

During the 1960s, the era covered in The Help, legal segregation and economic inequalities limited black women's employment opportunities. Up to 90 per cent of working black women in the South labored as domestic servants in white homes. The Help’s representation of these women is a disappointing resurrection of Mammy—a mythical stereotype of black women who were compelled, either by slavery or segregation, to serve white families. Portrayed as asexual, loyal, and contented caretakers of whites, the caricature of Mammy allowed mainstream America to ignore the systemic racism that bound black women to back-breaking, low paying jobs where employers routinely exploited them. The popularity of this most recent iteration is troubling because it reveals a contemporary nostalgia for the days when a black woman could only hope to clean the White House rather than reside in it.

Both versions of The Help also misrepresent African American speech and culture. Set in the South, the appropriate regional accent gives way to a child-like, over-exaggerated “black” dialect. In the film, for example, the primary character, Aibileen, reassures a young white child that, “You is smat, you is kind, you is important.” In the book, black women refer to the Lord as the “Law,” an irreverent depiction of black vernacular. For centuries, black women and men have drawn strength from their community institutions. The black family, in particular provided support and the validation of personhood necessary to stand against adversity. We do not recognize the black community described in The Help where most of the black male characters are depicted as drunkards, abusive, or absent. Such distorted images are misleading and do not represent the historical realities of black masculinity and manhood.

Furthermore, African American domestic workers often suffered sexual harassment as well as physical and verbal abuse in the homes of white employers. For example, a recently discovered letter written by Civil Rights activist Rosa Parks indicates that she, like many black domestic workers, lived under the threat and sometimes reality of sexual assault. The film, on the other hand, makes light of black women’s fears and vulnerabilities turning them into moments of comic relief.

Similarly, the film is woefully silent on the rich and vibrant history of black Civil Rights activists in Mississippi. Granted, the assassination of Medgar Evers, the first Mississippi based field secretary of the NAACP, gets some attention. However, Evers’ assassination sends Jackson’s black community frantically scurrying into the streets in utter chaos and disorganized confusion—a far cry from the courage demonstrated by the black men and women who continued his fight. Portraying the most dangerous racists in 1960s Mississippi as a group of attractive, well dressed, society women, while ignoring the reign of terror perpetuated by the Ku Klux Klan and the White Citizens Council, limits racial injustice to individual acts of meanness.

We respect the stellar performances of the African American actresses in this film. Indeed, this statement is in no way a criticism of their talent. It is, however, an attempt to provide context for this popular rendition of black life in the Jim Crow South. In the end, The Help is not a story about the millions of hardworking and dignified black women who labored in white homes to support their families and communities. Rather, it is the coming-of-age story of a white protagonist, who uses myths about the lives of black women to make sense of her own. The Association of Black Women Historians finds it unacceptable for either this book or this film to strip black women’s lives of historical accuracy for the sake of entertainment.

Ida E. Jones is National Director of ABWH and Assistant Curator at Howard University. Daina Ramey Berry, Tiffany M. Gill, and Kali Nicole Gross are Lifetime Members of ABWH and Associate Professors at the University of Texas at Austin. Janice Sumler-Edmond is a Lifetime Member of ABWH and is a Professor at Huston-Tillotson University.

Suggested Reading:

Fiction:

Like one of the Family: Conversations from A Domestic’s Life, Alice Childress

The Book of the Night Women by Marlon James

Blanche on the Lam by Barbara Neeley

The Street by Ann Petry

A Million Nightingales by Susan Straight

Non-Fiction:

Out of the House of Bondage: The Transformation of the Plantation Household by Thavolia Glymph

To Joy My Freedom: Southern Black Women’s Lives and Labors by Tera Hunter

Labor of Love Labor of Sorrow: Black Women, Work, and the Family -- from Slavery to the Present by Jacqueline Jones

Living In, Living Out: African American Domestics and the Great Migration by Elizabeth Clark-Lewis

Coming of Age in Mississippi by Anne Moody

Any questions, comments, or interview requests can be sent to: ABWHTheHelp@gmail.com

The Next Gig: "THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING" - a night of tributes to Tom Waits

2011-08-04T01:42:00.004-04:00

Instead of a postcard or a flyer with a cool photo on it, here's a massively huge blurb for the next gig tonight 8/4 10pm at The Rum House near Times Square. We'll be paying tribute to everyone's favorite booze soaked poet/troubadour (and actor!) Tom Waits. There is absolutely no cover whatsoever. Isn't that nice?

Expect well-crafted cocktails, a bit of a neo-vaudeville spark from the emcee Mr. Jonny Porkpie the Burlesque Mayor of New York City (how nice of him to keep his clothes on for this one) and some sort of emotional spontaneous combustion at the mic -- at least, from me.

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The Newest Old Cocktail Lounge in Times Square announces the first event in its new "Bespoke Music" series THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING, a night of tributes to the music of Tom Waits led by Benjamin Ickies (This Ambitious Orchestra, Oh! You Pretty Things) and JC Hopkins (Grammy-nominated songwriter, JC Hopkins Biggish Band). It will be the first event of its kind held at the new Rum House since the bar opened under the supervision of the Gentlemen of Ward III earlier this year.

"Since Rum House reopened, customers have enjoyed their bespoke cocktails to the sound of incredible pianists tickling the ivories almost every night of the week," says Jonny Porkpie, who curates the entertainment menu. "And we've been thrilled with the quality and variety of talent that have come through. Now, we're excited to start hosting some larger events in addition to our regular programming, and a celebration of Tom Waits' mixture of old-school showmanship with bourbon-soaked lyricism was the perfect kickoff."

The event features the talents of two of The Rum House's favorite entertainers, Benjamin Ickies and JC Hopkins. Hopkins and Ickies will take turns at the piano, accompanied by a fabulous array of special guests, musicians and vocalists including DeWitt Fleming Jr, Shien Lee (Dances of Vice), Mamie Minch, John Presnell, Queen Esther, Eric Schmalenbeger (House of Yes) and Sylvester Schneider (Zum Schnieder). Mr. Porkpie, in a rare fully-clothed appearance, hosts the evening.

THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING begins at 10:00pm on Thursday, August 4. There is no cover for the event. The event kicks off the "Bespoke Music" event series, which focuses on the work of a different musician or genre each month. The next event will be in September. The Rum House Entertainment Menu is presented Monday through Saturday nights, with cocktail hour
entertainment Monday through Thursday 6pm - 8pm and late night entertainment Wednesday 8pm - 10pm and Thursday through Saturday starting at 9:30pm.

ABOUT THE FEATURED PIANISTS

JC Hopkins is a Grammy-nominated songwriter and producer. His band, The JC Hopkins Biggish Band, worked with the likes of Norah Jones, Madeleine Peyroux, Elvis Costello, Justin Bond and Martha Wainwright. A working habitué of jazz dives, burlesque clubs and seedy piano bars, Hopkins honed his songwriting and musical chops in these colorful surroundings, gaining inspiration for the original material that comprises the majority of his band's swinging repertoire.

Bay Area native Benjamin Ickies moved to New York to study accordion with William Schimmel (featured on the Tom Waits albums Rain Dogs and Frank's Wild Years) in lieu of college. Thanks to his tutelage in rock, tango and cabaret, Ickies now directs several music ensembles in NYC and performs in many more. As a bandleader, he conducts the symphonic rock band This Ambitious Orchestra, co-produces the quarterly glam rock series Oh! You Pretty Things and on Tuesdays can be seen at the Griffin running the band for the cabaret Cafe Panache.

The Congressional Reform Act of 2011 - It IS Time

2011-07-28T20:53:00.005-04:00

someone emailed this to me and it made so much sense, i'm blogging it. please repost/forward/reblog/twitter and send, send, send. it's time.

apparently, congress does whatever it wants. or do they? the jury is still out on that one. the vietnam war came to a screeching halt because people marched and demanded it. but that was, what -- 40 years ago? we aren't a generation that takes to the streets in defiance. we take to our laptops and smart phones. the problem with this reform act is that ultimately, congress has to ratify it. isn't that like asking a bad kid to punish themselves?

with six figure salaries and self-regulated pay raises, solid health insurance, a pension and excellent retirement plan, and (yes believe it or not) not working for months on end, being a congressman (or woman) is like riding a gravy train with bisquit wheels. that is, compared to how the average american is doing.

congress should draft everyone at the age of 18. get personal. hit home, hard. that would make for a politically astute and very much involved populace, with a quickness.

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The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only three months and eight days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971 -- before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land -- all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those people to do likewise.

In three days, most people in the United States will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

No Tenure / No Pension. A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office
Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose
Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.
Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.
Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people
All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people
in the United States to receive this message.  Maybe it is time.

GREAT news!

2011-07-25T15:42:00.000-04:00

i just booked a performance workshop series at dixon place on thursday september 29 for a “musical” i’m assembling called the billie holiday project. this is an idea that i performed at the historic lenox lounge at the first annual harlem jazz shrines in may of this year. i wanted to grow it and i wasn’t sure how or if i could even pull it off in new york city because i hadn’t developed anything here through conventional means in awhile and i didn’t know the lay of the land. i still don’t, but i’m feeling my way along and i’m enjoying the process.

this is the way you do something new. i’ve originated work before. i know the trajectory very well. one step at a time, one moment at a time, one idea at a time – getting all of it up on its legs every season, getting a run where you can and shaping it as it goes along.

but that’s not the kicker.

the kicker is that i just confirmed with the apollo theater’s sound stage for their monthly music cafe series for may 11 and 12, 2012. i’ll also be performing there for harlem jazz shrines for those dates.

yeah, i’m over the moon. once i land, mpb and i will celebrate.

still submitting this idea for workshop opportunities all over the place. and yeah, i’m still waiting to find out if i’ve been chosen as a librettist for the bmi musical theater workshop. let’s see what develops. when anything gets confirmed, you will be the first one i tell.

happy summer!

Today's Sermon

2011-07-10T03:20:00.001-04:00

click here for today's sermon the blessing of being you by william carrol of times square church. enjoy and be blessed.

for your viewing pleasure

2011-07-09T14:08:00.001-04:00

first up - flame and citron. it's about two world war II danish resistance fighters -- legendary, iconic heroes, actually -- who get caught out there with double crossing agents, a triple (yes, triple!) femme fatale and assassinations run amok. it's loosely based on fact, but who cares. it's a bloody wild ride - in part because everything was constantly unraveling so thoroughly and so believably around them all the time.

inglorious basterds should have been this good.

here's another gem - black book. it's another world war II epic about a dutch jewish woman who becomes a spy for the resistance. unbelievably shockingly great film. more twists and turns and unexpected potholes than anything i was anticipating. i mean it. you must see this. there were moments when i was actually yelling at the screen, in this totally involuntarily way.

it's interesting to see films about world war II that show another european perspective besides concentration camps and what happened to the jews. what about everybody else?

here's the based on facts world war II movie i'll make someday: german prisoners of war shipped off to america believe it or not. specifically, i want to go off about the ones held in barracks deep in the heart of the lone star state in the early 1940s. what happened to them -- most of them ended up staying, getting married, having a life -- is a story for the ages.

disappearing acts

2011-07-08T00:11:00.000-04:00

running away to a beach in new jersey this weekend with my permanent boyfriend, to swim in the ocean and hopefully not get pulled in by the undertow. time to get a little sun, oversleep, watch more foreign movies and eat seafood with abandon. yay, summer!

in the meantime, here's a summertime song about swimming (and so much more) that i forgot about, from way back in the day: de la soul's tread water and as a happy bonus their theme song (as far as i'm concerned) magic number.

and oy. yes, i have to say this. i am so sick and tired of people who know nothing about hip-hop or rap pitching all of it into the garbage because of some song or lyric they heard in passing that they deemed sexist or substandard or unacceptable. ashley judd went way over the line by declaring that rap has a rape culture but she's not the first to talk what she doesn't know and she won't be the last. de la soul has always been known for their smarts, their humor and their social commentary. when its time to complain about this music, why aren't they ever mentioned?

lyrics: tread water

Dove:
I was walking on the water when I saw a crocodile
He had daisies in his hat, so I stopped him for a while
He delivered me a message, a massage to soothe my stage
What it was was more then plug-up dosage
More than daisy age
Conversation drew a rule,
Which the crowd will roar by millions
Mr. crocodile said, 'dove, you must look
For now the villains try to hold you underwater
But one thing we all must heed
Sony walkmans keep us walking
De la soul can help you breathe when you tread water'

As I walked along my journey,
I thought 'what have I just learned? '
In a flash I saw commotion
There was movement in these ferns
Silently the silence came, was it the end of my world?
I shouted out in fear, 'who's there? '
'it's me,' said mr. squirrel
'i've searched for you all over, now you're found,
No time to waste. we must find the preacher man,
We must find the p.a. mase. all my population's dying,
And we're all in tune to doom.
Like the daisy, I need water
I need chesnuts to consume.'
'mr. squirrel,' I said, 'i'm sorry,
But the problem can't be solved
If there's no one here to help, and no one to get involved
Always look to the positive and never drop your head
For the water will engulf us if we do not dare to tread
So let's tread water'

Pos:
Now one weary day I woke, my alarm said 'plug time's up'
Filled my bath up with the water, gargled with my gargle cup
As I bathed I felt a presence, and I'm sort of ticklish
I looked down and then around and I heard,
'hi! I'm mr fish. how do you do? as for me,
I'm in tip-top shape today, cause my water's clean
And no-one's menu says fresh fish filet
See I look past all my worries, which is something you must do
Though you're fed up, throw your head up
With this advice from me to you
And that's to tread water

As my day went unexplained, time was finding nothing fun
As I walked along the sidewalk, I heard,
'psst, excuse me, plug one.'
From my soul, de la that is, I hollered
'yes, are you talking to me? '
'no alarm meant,' he said, 'let me introduce myself.
I'm mr monkey.'
'mr monkey, I pledge you slap of five,
Now how does your problem meet? '
He said, 'my bananas are at their ripest, but they all
Stand at three feet. my swinging hand is bandaged up.
Could you help me with this chore? '
I brought him down to the native shop
And bought him copies of the de la score
Which assisted well in his elevation
Now all bananas is at his grasp
He decided with this accomplished,
He would put me on to the path
He to my to live by the inner sound, y'all
Which would bring me health in showbiz
Then to use them, not abuse them
And then in the words that got me to 'em
And that is to tread water

De La Soul - Magic Number by hushhush112

What's in YOUR purse?

2011-07-07T21:45:00.000-04:00

after reading this blog entry from stylist olori swank, i realized that a lot of people who know me usually wonder aloud when they're around me as to what is in my purse. i usually carry vintage purses because i figure it's less likely that i'll see anyone else with what i've got. to my way of thinking, style is much more important than fashion.

here's what lives in my purse -- as of today. (i don't know what's more shocking/annoying: the amount of stuff i carry everywhere or how much this says about who i am.)

enid collins purse. (yes, i collect these. i found the latest one at a vintage/antique shop in brattleboro, vt for $30. go figure.)
ipod shuffle (tres retro!) and big ol' sony headphones
lucas' papaw ointment (if you are in the us of a and if you are black like me and if you have any of this in your purse, i owe you a coke.)
a large coach wallet
moo business cards in their tidy leather holder
housekeys
a small handmade gold compact with pam grier's picture embossed on it
multivitamins for the day
a chococat contact lens compact w/lens holder
a hand-embroidered vintage handkerchief
pocket kleenex tissues
android phone
android phone charger
pens i love to write with
bejeweled journal
a good book, usually a bio (now finishing up bessie by chris albertson)
a small bottle of motrin ib
purell hand sanitizer
small bottle of kiehl's creme de corps
small container of kiehl's superbly restorative skin salve
tide-to-go instant stain remover
nars lipstick -- "scarlet empress" (heh.)
vintage 50s ray ban shades and container

okay, yikes. this is too much for one purse. but all of it is so...necessary. i've got to be able to read and write and listen to cool stuff everywhere i go. one small slight disclaimer: most of these items are in a small clear plastic zip bag -- a purse in my purse, if you will -- so i can transfer it easily from one bag to another. really uncomplicates things.

hm. i feel another enid collins box purse coming on...

oh, really?

2011-07-05T23:47:00.000-04:00

how annoying is this?

so many stereotypes about black people are reinforced so innocuously throughout the media, it's no wonder so many of us believe them. here's a clip from the film harvard man that features some prattle about how black people can't swim.

i love the way the brother in this scene lets this fact of black life slide by, like his blackness depends on it. because if that's what black people do and if he's truly black, he'd better be all about it. right?

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T07:04:00.000-04:00

happy fourth of july, america. actually, i celebrate juneteenth, so don't mind me. i'm only being magnanimous. (heh.)

before the more jingoistic amongst you go off the deep end with patriotic musings about how great you think the founding fathers were and how wonderful this country has always been (too late!), you should take this with you: a speech given by frederick douglass on july 4, 1851 that rips into the idea of celebrating freedom while 4 million americans were enslaved. ah, such hypocrisy...

enjoy!

Today's Sermon

2011-07-03T11:08:00.002-04:00

click here for today's sermon the gift that keeps on giving by pastor william carrol of times square church. enjoy and be blessed.

Black People CAN and DO Swim, Part 1: Hansborough Recreation Center

2011-07-02T17:01:00.009-04:00

in zipping through topics on aquatics and water safety for nablopomo's theme this month, one that popped up repeatedly was the subject of african-americans and swimming. bizarrely, it seems that there are quite a lot of people who believe that this is something that we innately cannot do. black folk have heard this so often over the years -- reinforced by every media outlet, cheezy sit-com and hack comedian on the planet, of course -- that quite a few of us believe it.

i suppose any stereotype has a grain of truth in it, but this is one that just doesn't hold water -- even when the powers that be attempt to justify it by saying that black people aren't buoyant enough to swim. the reasons why black people don't swim are deeply rooted in our oh so racist society and are every indication of how escaping our troubled past isn't as simple as most jingoistic revisionists think it is.

first of all, there is this: historically when we had aquatics as a recreational option, we have taken full advantage of it. that is, when we were given the option. usually, we weren't. in my daddy's day for example (the 20s/30s), municipal swimming pools and the free swimming lessons that came with them were all the rage. in most instances, they were for whites only.

as an african-american, it would be more than frustrating for me to watch my hard-earned city and state tax dollars pay for something that i couldn't use. but i digress. and yes, more on that later.

black folk in some urban areas had swimming as a city-sponsored recreational option in their own neighborhoods. for the most part, harlem was the exception, not the rule. hansborough recreational center is a bright shining example of this. (see the video below.) open to the public in 1925 at an estimated cost of $500,000 -- with basketball courts, an elevated track and a huge indoor pool -- they had an average of 43,000 visitors annually by 1926. those regulars included everything from church groups and boys and girls clubs to black amateur athletes. with the harlem renaissance in bloom and harlem as the unofficial capital of black america, we were hitting our stride and our stroke.

yes, i know white people lived in harlem once upon a time -- but with white flight setting in as early as 1904 with the onset of the great migration, according to the 1930 census *surprise!* harlem was over 70% black.

secondly, segregation at muncipal swimming pools continued through the 60s for the most part, until such practices were deemed illegal. there was a second wave that embraced swimming as a sport in the 50s/60s but by the time we were allowed into those pools that our tax dollars funded, white people had embraced a decades old swim culture that meant not only enjoying the water on a regular basis amongst themselves but making swim lessons a kiddie rite of passage for their children. we had no such traditions in place.

last but not least: i'm not going to get into black women who don't swim -- or excercise! -- because they just got their hair done and they don't want to sweat their perm/press and curl/relaxer out, or screw up their expensive weave. seriously. i'm not going to touch that with somebody else's hand. but i will say that a black parent who is afraid of the water quite often keeps their child from learning to swim because they're afraid they'll drown.

the facility in the video is kind of stunning, isn't it. oh, and guess what? membership is $37.50 for 6 months or $75 for the year -- and with that, you have unlimited use of the entire facility.

i love harlem.

can i swim? yes, i can.

i never took lessons as a kid. we grew up in the ATL with a swimming pool in our backyard, so we jumped in until we figured it out. but i would never swim outdoors in large bodies of water. once i understood our history with all of this -- how slaves weren't allowed to learn to swim, for example -- i decided to formally learn in college. now i can swim like a fish.

we are out there, swimming -- and loving it. we have always been out there. we are legion. we are overcoming our phobias, with grace. we are learning how to swim. we have our own swim clubs and swim meets...

swim, swim, swim

2011-07-01T20:42:00.003-04:00

nablopomo's theme for july is SWIM - whatever that means. since i could use a distraction from the funeral i attended today, i'll answer today's daily prompt: Where would you love to go swimming?

why, barton springs in the nation's capital, of course!

located in beautiful zilker park, barton springs -- and yes, that includes barton springs pool -- is a thing of wonder. without a doubt, austin texas was one of the prettiest places i knew of, and those natural springs set off every season just right. picture it: sunny days, blue skies, world-class mexican food, the best bbq you've never had, live music everywhere and lots of swimming holes. i couldn't have picked a more perfect place to go to college. but that was then. the austin i knew no longer exists.

with barton springs pool remaining a relatively toasty 70 degrees in the dead of winter, swimming in austin was a year round essential moment to cherish.

we grew up with a swimming pool in the back yard, so i could swim -- but i was lousy at it. wading around and dog pedaling it was good enough until i got to school and watched everyone else take to the deep end of the lake with abandon. i promised myself that i would take lessons and become a strong swimmer and maybe become a lifeguard before i left texas. and i did become a strong swimmer. i worked at it until i could swim and dive comfortably. baywatch knocked the idea of being a lifeguard right out of my head, thankfully. finally, i could enjoy barton springs the way the rest of my friends did, instead of looking nonchalant at the water's edge whilst posing in a vintage one piece swimsuit and nibbling on things.

of course, there was also hippie hollow, the clothing optional situation that everyone knew of and no one frequented. well, just about everyone went there, actually. i imagine that back in teh 70s, everyone was smoking pot and sunning themselves endlessly and whatever. (frackin' hippies!)

austin had such a hippie vibe when i was there. lots of outlaw biker hippies chillin' out all over the place. but that's another conversation...

Today's Sermon

2011-06-26T23:24:00.000-04:00

click here for an mp3 of today's sermon stop running from your fears from pastor carter conlon of times square church. enjoy and be blessed.

fun, fun, fun

2011-06-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

here's where i'll be on saturday - the jazz age lawn party on governor's island! i've entered the pie contest. (wish me luck...!)

forks over knives

2011-06-24T00:29:00.001-04:00

The feature film Forks Over Knives examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting our present menu of animal-based and processed foods.

i'm looking forward to seeing this one.

the business of food is such a powerful hydra-headed corporate behemoth nowadays that i never really believed that a film like this -- one that breaks down some essential problems with the way we eat as a culture -- could be widely marketed and distributed. (remember when the beef industry tried to unhinge oprah because of a show she did on mad cow disease?) i thought this was the land of the free, especially when it comes to free speech. but of course that's not the case. the powers that be are attempting to shift things so that you can't make disparaging remarks about their food products.

still and all, there seems to be a genuine shift towards wholesome, organic, healthful choices. if the food industry doesn't change, they will eventually be left behind.

because of the economic downturn, people are shopping at farmer's markets, maintaining their own gardens and generally eating their vegetables. it's not widespread, by any means. everyone is still raiding the dollar menu at mcdonalds and wendys here in the ghetto -- but even they're offering salad as an option.

if i could grow a garden in my harlem apartment, i would do it.

and although i think that organic fast food is oxymoronic, it's a rising trend whose time has come. i think that healthful options have to be taught and encouraged. while that's taking root, you may as well have something shockingly good for you at the local drive through.

like food inc and king corn, this film could shake things up.

oy!

2011-06-23T11:37:00.000-04:00

only one more week to go until my big day. today's somewhat uneventful birthday present is a massive donation to the salvation army. anything to edit my closets and clear out that pesky junk room...

the latest "top ten" list - stuff i'm addicted to lately

2011-06-22T11:11:00.001-04:00

these are a few of my favorite things that i'm obsessing over lately -- aside from boxing, well-researched (auto)biographies and pie crust, of course. and yeah, none of this is in any particular order. enjoy!

bangable dudes from history: dead man porn for your still beating heart - girlie website the frisky has a feature called nerd girl porn that's interesting, cool and smart. i especially like the way they rethink historical figures and pop icons by sexualizing them and putting them in the now. it makes them more human. more real. and there's something erotic about looking such a familiar face in the eye as they stare down the camera. i love to read about the past, so bangable dudes from history (which i found via nerd girl porn -- and yes they feature both men and women, by the way) had me at the first sepia portrait. throw in a snarky color coded pie chart and i'm an instant fan. anything that can make someone like karl marx come alive in a totally unexpected way can't be all bad.
1930s day dresses - i think diane von furstenberg is right. if you want to feel like a woman, wear a dress. when women's clothing began to accommodate their busy day-to-day lives and around-the-clock glamour was no longer deemed necessary or practical, this is the kind of dress they wore: feminine, understated and just flat-out lovely. i'm starting to collect them.
chococat - believe it or not, this is hello kitty's black friend. i'll be rocking this for awhile -- and springing it on my black grrlfriends whenever i can find any. apparently, its not easy to find.
new! neutrogena ultra sheer body mist sunblock - this is a miracle in a spray can. imagine: no more smearing sun block in over my lotion before i run out of the house. with this, i can spray and go. i can even reapply it during the day the way i'm supposed to, for optimum results. it's waterproof, sweatproof, won't clog my pores, ultra light, not oily or greasy and i can wear it on my face. oh -- and it's cheap. i practically jumped up and down when i found it in the drug store. yippee!
uptown soap company - i love these products. my personal favorite scent? black honey.
tend skin - this is a miracle in a bottle. well. more like asprin in a bottle. the bottom line is that if you're going to shave, ladies, this is the stuff to use to make sure you don't get ingrown hairs.
the hayman's tea cocktail at 67 orange - no, i don't like gin. but knowing the queen of england is highly partial to the stuff makes me wish i did. this is the perfect summer cocktail - made with earl grey tea, lemon and honey, no less! (and elderflower liquor.) *sigh* with all that going on, i can hardly taste the gin...
kiehl's superbly restorative argan dry oil - i love shea butter - i wrote about this recently - but this dry oil takes the cake. i'd use it all the time, if i could afford it.
adivasi masala chai - now that i've found this chai tea, i can't have the chai soy latte anyplace else except the mud cafe in the lower east side.
clean plates - it's the way i eat out in gotham these days. what's great is that they've probably got your city covered, too.

why can't i do a push up yet?

2011-06-21T23:16:00.001-04:00

i am struggling with push ups in my boxing sessions. i'm pushing myself off of the ground with everything in me and it's just not enough. my arms shake like i'm palsied. we do so many that after a certain point, all i can do is hold myself in a plank position and wait for the next phase. it's embarassing. i'm sick of myself and how puny i am. whenever i push my body to do more, it turns on me in a way that feels deliberate and calculated. it's as though its telling me, leave me and this extra chub on your backside alone! with every day, every meal, every work out, my body and i are slugging it out. it's fighting me for every freaking pound. i am not lying.

watching the first lady do push ups with desmond tutu was nothing short of breathtaking. that was all the motivation i needed to push against the floor as hard as i have to, a little bit more every day, to make it happen.

i do girl push ups - yes, they're modified push ups but no one calls them that (and yes, "girl push ups is an incredibly sexist name for them) - and today for the first time, i did them comfortably and easily, without feeling that tremble rise up and overwhelm my arms. that's probably because i started lifting weights on my arms and upper body a little while ago. weightlifting works.

here's the correct way to do them.

here's the right way to do what most people refer to as "normal" push ups. (they call them "military" too.) you may not be able to do them after watching this, but at least your form will be correct.

am i impatient? absolutely. but then again, when does anything move fast enough for me? am i having fun? you bet. i like the idea of learning something useful, not just working out and bouncing all over the room to break a sweat and lose a calorie.

ultimately, i want to condition and spar on a regular basis. i figure i'm at least 6 months away from attempting that. i know that i've found the thing that will keep tweaking me physically for the rest of my life.

i have to be able to make it through two hardcore boxing sessions a day - push ups and all - with serious mileage afterwards to believe that i can make it through a few hours with monty negro.

boing-boing!

2011-06-20T15:27:00.001-04:00

back in the saddle again after a weekend of running around in philly -- which really is more fun when you sleep over. still thinking about that wonderful king sized bed i slept in at the westin. and of course they have a store! if i could have a bed like that, i'd probably turn into marcel proust and hardly ever get out of it. suprisingly, "pulling a proust" requires a lot more effort than you'd think. and yet, i can remember when i did it so often, i looked forward to disappearing from the world.

i'm up to my neck in boxing sessions, auditions, and rewrites oh my! lifting weights and running every other day, hoping to improve on my lousy bent leg girlie push ups and learn how to work that speed bag. at least i don't have to struggle to keep my gloves up anymore. now that's progress.

working on a new idea for the pie contest at the roaring 20s jazz age lawn party on this saturday that's exciting me a great deal. oh, that reminds me: the ultra-cute kit pie contest in a box -- and yes, my pie recipe and i are in there! -- is available everywhere as of june 28. here's what the box looks like!

this clever little box and the fact that i've made all my deadlines and submitted my librettos and manuscripts to the proper channels in the past few weeks makes me feel like a millionaire.

black music month video #6 - young mc!

2011-06-19T01:29:00.000-04:00

happy juneteenth, everyone! if i were in texas, i'd be singing and dancing to some old school hits in someone's backyard right about now -- and this song would definitely be one of them.

remember this? bust a move by young mc -- still a summertime anthem in my neck of the woods. there's something that's still so infectiously catchy about this little ditty. and i love the look and feel of the video. it's so exuberant and fun and "up". was it the guitar riff that made it so playable on rock stations? who knows...

i especially like it that he wrote the lyrics in his dorm room at usc in 90 minutes. a first draft. boom, just like that. totally makes sense that he was at the songwriting helm for tone-loc's wild thing as well as funky cold medina. all three songs have the same vibe.

young mc was quite young then. he had just finished this song and video, and a ba from usc in economics. his parents made him promise that if nothing happened after a summer spent promoting his album, he'd go to graduate school. boy, did that go up in smoke with a quickness. he even got a grammy for best rap performance.

hm. i wonder if public enemy has a grammy? (makes you wonder what a grammy is worth, doesn't it.)

everyone still plays this song relentlessly. here's hoping young mc owns his publishing.

philly comic con, tony atlas and how to fight like a girl

2011-06-18T23:21:00.006-04:00

played hooky from my life yet again today and skipped off to be with my permanent boyfriend at the philly comic con -- a minor epicenter of sorts for freaks, geeks, nerds, gamers, trolls, stans, lolitas and other assorted socially inept wierdos. attending these events for his company -- booth display and all -- is a part of what he does so well. it's the same comic cons every year. after awhile, all of it swirls into one huge geek prom, replete with costumes, festooned with comic book seller's banners, layered with overpriced greasy food galore. sometimes i come with him, sometimes i don't. this time around, i wanted to get out of the city, make a last ditch effort to find some civilized way to howl at the moon before spring officially ended and sprung me into another season that i wasn't heavily anticipating.

i wasn't giddy about leaving town. don't get me wrong. one night in philly is exciting stuff. the food is fantastic. the museums are incredible. its ultra family friendly. the downtown area is accessible and walkable in an uncomplicated way that sort of hearkens back to another era, the way i can trip down the sidewalk and look down a side street paved in cobblestones and see perfectly preserved row houses. the old and the new are juxtaposed against each other so comfortably. and the vibe is grounded and soulful. i get a sense of history all around me, and i LOVE any city that embraces that.

apropos of nothing, mpb asked me if i wanted to move to philly as we were walking through the downtown area to dinner, just like that. it's easy to see us living here. not that we would, but that's just how cool this place is.

the night before i was to arrive, mpb told me that tony atlas was at the comic con. there were a slew of blaksploitation folk there, too. richard roundtree. pam grier. oh, and vivica fox! but they were all eclipsed by tony atlas. was he really there? i think i started yelling into the phone.

tony atlas was a huge part of my childhood. when i was a kid, my whole family would sit around and watch wwf wrestling matches, gleefully yelling at the tv screen and carrying on. i can remember daddy roaring at the screen when tony atlas came into the ring, because it was understood he was going to wreck the place. all those tag team matches were crazy! i can distinctly recall him wiping the floor -- quite literally -- with hulk hogan.

at that time in the state of georgia, mr. atlas dominated the sport, unquestionably. he had been mr. usa and was a bona fide strong man before he became a professional wrestler. now that i think about it, it was a really big deal that a black man was conquering the sport the way that he did. but in the moment, i wasn't thinking about any of that. all i could really think (besides wow, i hope he doesn't kill that guy) was, he's so astonishingly beautiful, i can hardly look at him.

beautiful. really, that's the only word that can truly describe him -- then and now. just so you can get an idea of what i was seeing as a kid, take a look at these videos.

here's hulk hogan starting a feud with tony atlas as he does a few poses for the crowd. (when hulk called tony atlas "boy", i was ready to put my foot through the tv!)

and here's a big fight they had at madison square garden.

needless to say, i wanted to be just like tony atlas when i grew up. strong. physically powerful. fearless. inexhaustable. relentless. aggressive. i quite liked the idea of physically running someone down and beating the snot out of them, and not going to prison for it. i honestly believed that fighting really did solve everything. actually, i still do. it's just that nowadays, i let God do my fighting for me. but i digress...

it didn't dawn on me that i couldn't have any of those abilities because i was a girl. i honestly didn't think that any of those things were exclusively male. estrogen? testosterone? meh. i figured it was mine if i wanted it when i grew up -- like everything else i could think of. the only thing that was holding me back as far as i could tell was bedtime. that, and my parents -- constantly telling me what to do.

*sigh*

so anyway, yeah. tony atlas.

when i got to the convention center, i was absolutely giddy. i wandered around until i found him, sitting at a booth. for a fee (which i was more than happy to fork over), he autographed a photo of himself as i remembered him, and we took a picture together. we had a nice little chat. and then i floated back to my hotel room because for some strange reason, i couldn't sleep a wink the night before. later when i examined the picture, i couldn't believe how big his arms were. don't i look blissed out?

not bad for a 67 year old.

i skipped back to mpb's booth and blurted, tony atlas called me sugar! needless to say, mpb thought that was hilarious.

what did we talk about? how gender is irrelevant when it comes to fighting. there's no such thing as fighting like a girl. fighting is technique. either you know how to fight or you don't. how strong black women are. how they had to be strong for themselves and for their children, because in some instances, black men were absent. how strong his mother was and how she knew how to fight, for all of them.

i wanted to get some of that on video, but when i came back the next day, he'd already left. dejected, i went to the eastern state penitentiary and wandered around amongst decay and ruin and ghosts.

mr. atlas has an autobiography out called atlas: too much, too soon on crowbar press. clearly, a must read. God only knows what happened to him...

the latest (food) epiphany

2011-06-17T23:49:00.003-04:00

i've figured it out. sort of.

if i want a lean, strong, healthy body, i have to physically exhaust myself -- i mean, take my body to the absolute limit -- for a few hours every day. oh, yeah. and i have to not eat or drink garbage, cut the carbs drastically and stop eating at night. whether i do or don't do those things, i can see the results immediately.

the problem is that new york city is one big eatfest, with tons of street food options, from exotic food trucks of every ilk to hot dog stands to fresh fruit and vegetable vendors, with better bargains than grocery stores. (quite a few of them are 24 hours.) it's like gotham was designed for non-stop noshing. frankly, impulse eating is an urge that i haven't conquered entirely. although i must say that when its hot outside, the last thing i want to do is eat anything -- so at least the weather is working in my favor.

getting there is hard but i know that maintaining what i'm fighting for will be the real struggle.

hitting that wall

2011-06-16T19:46:00.001-04:00

i went to a bootcamp class yesterday at noon. i did it on a dare, sort of. a dare and a handshake. m, the person in question, held up his end of the bargain, so seeing as how i've grown into being a man of my word these days (finally!), i showed up. i wasn't looking forward to it. boot camp sounds like something impossible will be asked of me physically. but he'd lost weight in the weeks since i'd seen him and he blamed it on boot camp so out of curiousity, i went.

the class was crowded with all types and filled to the brim with enthusiasm and dread. and one of the mommies was there. (and she'd lost weight, too.) i was genuinely surprised to see this much of a horde on a wednesday in the middle of the day, but stranger things have been known to happen. i threw myself into every move. while i was doing each one, i remember thinking, this isn't so bad. at least i didn't feel like my chest was about to cave in, a la gennaro's boxing class. when i woke up the next day, i could hardly move -- so of course, i went to that aforementioned boxing session. because i want progress. because i missed it. but mostly because the only cure that i know of for that level of soreness is a solid workout.

and then comes the blind fury, when i'm swinging my arms and doing those combinations and my arms are trembling under the weight of me with every push up, like i'm palsied. at least my midsection isn't doing that anymore. progress.

towards the end of class after negro wore me out with mitts and the room was clearing out, this dark haired girl looks at me and goes, you aren't sweating enough. she looked like someone had hosed her down, and she was beet-red in the face.

you look like i feel, i said.

it's not that you aren't sweating, she went on. you have this overall sheen going, and she waved her hand in my general direction and said, but it's not really sweat.

i'm glistening, i mumbled. that's what i do.

once i explained my boot camp handicap, we introduced ourselves. whaddya know -- her name is zoe (i have a niece named zoe!) and she's a musical theater performer (non-union) and a 20-something nyu graduate. we talked shop, had this running commentary going as negro and j were boxing that was hilarious and totally sexist and over the top and then we hit the showers.

she's got a non-union gig in new hamster, so she'll be gone for awhile. but she'll be in boot camp next week. and so will m. i liked it enough to go back. i'm sorry it took a dare to get me to do it.

black music month video #5 - ice cube and tupac!

2011-06-15T22:21:00.000-04:00

there's a lot of birthdays out there today amongst the rich and famous and especially the infamous -- but wouldn't it be interesting to have these folks stuck together in a room for a few hours? seriously, what on earth would they talk about?

Neil Patrick Harris
Waylon Jennings
Harry Nilsson
Courteney Cox, actress
Jake Busey, Gary Busey's son
Lash LaRue, western actor
Mario Cuomo, former governor of New York
Andy Pettitte, Houston Astros pitcher

two names that aren't on this list are featured in this video in a live performance. i would have to have my black card revoked if i didn't say happy birthday to ice cube and tupac shakur.

i hit like a girl

2011-06-14T22:19:00.000-04:00

i did two boxing sessions today. i've been away from all of that for awhile, so it was no easy feat.

after the first one, i felt a twinge of the overall ache that would definitely overtake me the next day. i realized that i had pushed myself harder than usual, probably because i'd been gone for awhile, and somewhere inside the excitement i felt upon returning, there seemed to be an abundance of adrenaline whipping through me. more than usual. but there was something more. my stance was cleaner. my technique was in place. i wasn't fast but i was solid. i put my body into every swing. even though i hadn't touched those gloves in forever, everything somehow fell into place when i did.

in the second one, i was hitting so hard and clean that the instructor george accused me of cheating on him with some other instructor.

wow. maybe i'm getting good at this.

at one point, as i was slamming my fist into my instructor's mitt repeatedly with rear upper cuts, i asked him if i hit as hard as a guy. without hesitating, he said yes. but what does that mean? there are way too many guys in the room who don't know how to throw a punch -- or take one. i want to be a hard charger and at the end of the day, that's beyond gender. maybe that's the real reason why i love this sport.

i wish i could remember how long i've been going at this, with this focus and intensity.

tomorrow at noon, it's an hour of a workout session called boot camp and then later in the evening, i'll see the one i call negro.

mental health day

2011-06-13T23:51:00.002-04:00

i'm going to take the day off to recover from all that eating and wandering around that happened in vermont. the great news is, i'm working on a new song cycle, i made headway with one of my newer ideas and i got a lot of writing done.

yikes! my birthday is almost here! i have no idea what i'll do to celebrate. probably go to a korean day spa all day and graze. oh, wait. i should do that the day before, and meet up with everyone the following evening. (ah...i LOVE it when a plan comes together...)

the (mostly intangible) presents that i've given myself every day have been full of joy. mostly, they've let to quiet, soul searching moments that have given me a fresh perspective, a lot of insight and closure -- and in the end, i realized that i'd emotionally outgrown so much of what i was wading through. ultimately, the only real choice was to forgive and let go and move on.

as half the year is about to come to a screeching halt, i'm making myself three promises:

to have a drunken tea party at our place -- sooner rather than later
to spar in the ring on a regular basis before the end of the summer
to give myself a beauty day once a week (at least)

oh. and more pictures!

parting shots, part one

2011-06-12T01:47:00.001-04:00

vermont is lush green mountains, wide open spaces with pastoral settings, diners and eateries and tea houses and antique shops clustered around sweetly antiquated town squares and farming communities. even when it wouldn't stop raining, it was beautiful. all that green, with big red barns trimmed in white, like something out of a picture book, and black and white dairy cows wandering around like lost children, nibbling on grass absentmindedly and counting the cars as they drifted by.

there were moments when it felt as though we were driving through a cloud -- so high up, with our ears popping, losing the radio station and then suddenly getting it back. it can certainly be posh, in a very old money new england way. victorian houses sit against the road like something out of an ancient pop-up book, some of them in rampant squalor and disarray, some grand. all of them, breathtaking -- especially the ones that were on the verge of falling apart.

charleston, sc has that same undertone of starchy tea-sipping english civility that cloaks new england like a well-worn hand-stitched quilt. i recognized it instinctively. there were moments when my nose twitched at the familiarity of it. the element that's missing is a distinctly african one. honestly, charleston feels as haunted as new orleans. but then again, i suppose any old town has it's very own creep factor. oh -- and charleston has the sun's constant presence pressing down on you, year 'round. vermont can get as cold as alaska. it's the chill that kills.

you can stay in a former dignitary's palatial jewelbox of a home, lovingly restored and converted into a hotel, like this one. still and all, bed and breakfast options abound.

but then it started to rain.

tchotchkes!

(so perfect for nana!)

uptown saturday (film) night - "monsieur hire"

2011-06-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person." - Chuck Palahniuk

if it's saturday night. that means if i don't have a gig -- or something else that's going to drag me out of the house -- i'm at home watching something interesting on netflix. although this saturday finds me out of town, that will hardly stop my fun. (i did look for a drive-in in the area to surprise my permanent boyfriend, but things are pretty soggy around here so that's out.)

my taste in film is running sideways lately. here's a "top ten" taste of what i'm into, so far this year. have you seen any of these?

be warned: these are mostly independent, foreign, cerebral and bent. apparently, i have a driving need to be intrigued. if you don't, look elsewhere.

i'd like to believe that i'm beginning to think visually. that is, i want visuals that tell the story -- not words. i'd also like to believe that i'm gaining a better understanding the inner workings of all the elements that make a movie come alive.

i wish carrie could answer my stupid questions about mise-en-scene or sound choices or camera angles. i really do.

monsieur hire is what i saw tonight.

i refuse to give this film away plotwise but i will say this: this movie is a love story that is so achingly beautiful in such a hopeless way, it's nothing short of cringe-worthy. the romance that unravels so carefully inside of it all epitomizes the aforementioned chuck palahniuk quote. the thing that i clutched to my chest in the more harrowing moments as i got lost in the action was that when you really love someone, when that love is real, you don't care if they love you back. real love doesn't have to be reciprocated. it just is, whether the other person accepts it or not. and what's more, the love you have for them has the capacity to sustain you, in spite of whatever they say or do.

if you want to see what i mean, you'll have to watch the movie.

mini vacay

2011-06-10T20:34:00.000-04:00

i'm skipping town for the weekend with my permanent boyfriend. (yay!) we are going to disappear into the lush green mountains, skip down memory lane, write stream of consciously, nosh endlessly and oversleep happily. i should have some colorful and interesting things for you to see and hear soon enough.

happy spring!

black music month video #4 - la josephine!

2011-06-09T00:49:00.000-04:00

for some, a singer is a singer is a singer. she is there to be seen and not heard, for the most part. at the very least, the physical aspect of who she is can be ingested and thrown into the equation of her assessment as a vocalist well before her talent is called into question. for all intents and purposes, she is whatever they think of as pretty. and pretty, as any female on the planet will tell you, is its own currency. pretty matters. a lot. sometimes, it matters too much. or rather, a certain kind of pretty matters too much -- one that is virtually unattainable. but i digress.

how heavily all of this weighs on the singer in question depends on which genre you embrace. jazz, it seems, requires a certain level of musicianship -- like ella fitzgerald, obviously. blues demands a powerhouse, a la koko taylor. and although what you look like is important all the way across the board, when it comes to producer-driven pop and r&b, what you look like is way more important than what you sound like, which is why a lot of those singers are visually primed and sonically irrelevant. when they can sing and not just warble with a lot of electronic assistance, they usually sing at you -- not to you.

ah, but these are the video ready times we live in. as you consider the latest offering from your favorite multi-hit wonder, its important to remember that once upon a time, not too long ago, live music was everywhere -- supper clubs, cabarets, breakfast sets, big bands, after hours combos, church gatherings, parlor dances, tea socials, juke joints, road houses, speakeasies. every venue seemed to demand a different kind of singer. a supper club appearance required a floor show -- something that eartha kitt could fill easily. a cabaret act? give dianne carroll a call.

interestingly, there were song stylists everywhere -- those singers whose outfits and presentation and arrangements were paramount. their performance level was incredibly individualistic, highly personalized and intimate. what they did onstage seemed effortless. a song stylist has to be able to do it all.

case in point? everyone considers nancy wilson -- who sings blues, jazz, cabaret and pop, and who had her own variety tv series back in the day -- to be a jazz vocalist but she calls herself a song stylist.

for me, josephine baker epitomizes this in all the right ways. for those of you who don't know, the performance in this video is how should be done.

here she is, la baker, way past her prime supposedly -- and yet she shines. she is old -- she is of the age that is dismissed, that is ridiculed, that is ignored by society. and yet she is slim and shapely and shimmering and elegant and beautiful. mesmerizing, really. she is singing to you and she is using everything she's got -- not just her voice but her all -- to give you this song.

of course, it helps that she has an endless supply of that indefinable thing called charisma but who would seriously think to get onstage professionally without any of that?

Short Film of the Day: Late Bloomer

2011-06-08T09:06:00.000-04:00

who doesn't have time for a short film?

this funny little lovecraftian gem of a 7th grade sex ed class gone horribly wrong was an official selection of the sundance fim festival in 2005. although i especially like the way the vagina on the blackboard turns into a throbbing monster, that voiceover is what makes this such a fun ride. enjoy!

shea butter, revisited

2011-06-07T17:22:00.003-04:00

one of my birthday presents to myself this weekend was a container of 100% raw shea butter. it comes in yellow or white slabs (kind of like butter) and it has a slightly nutty scent. you can sit it on the shelf forever because thankfully it never goes bad. i got it on the street in the heart of harlem for five bucks from a west african in a suit. yeah, he was working it hard. and he had lots of other things, too -- and i'll get to them in a later post -- but that shea butter was all i needed for the moment.

basically, i'm really frustrated with a lot of the beauty products floating around out there for my skin -- especially the ones that are supposedly designed for me as a black woman. when i do find something i like, it's so expensive that i don't feel right about purchasing it on a regular basis. on the other hand, when it comes to my face -- cleansers, moisturizers, anti-aging creams, a good astringent -- i'll make whatever sacrifice i have to, for a clear, even complexion. for the moment, my face is taken care of. i have a facialist, i have an eyebrowist and i'm hooked on murad products. the rest of my body could use a little help.

right about now, the body shop and bath and body works are launching their summer sales, with deep discounts that make their body butters pretty tempting. but they still fall short. my solution? i take what they've got and fortify it with my own ingredients, thus creating something totally new and uniquely mine. it allows me to stretch the use of the lotion and give my skin the boost that the manufacturer never really considered.

it starts with an empty container. an empty body butter tub works very well, for example. i used an empty shea cashmere jar. i put in two parts of a heavily scented lotion -- this one is tahiti sweetie, filled with monoi oil -- and two parts shea butter that i carefully melted in the microwave. i stirred that up with a spoon until it reached a smoothness and consistency i recognized. and then i put in one part arygan oil and stirred that up, readjusting with more scented lotion until the jar was full. the litmus test? when i tried it, my skin drank it in and now it's softer than ever.

the bad news is, i won't be able to replicate the scent of the lotion accurately -- unless i use some of those oils that the africans sell. but that's okay. having healthy, clear, ultra soft skin is worth it.

good grief. i am so DIY. if i knew anything about construction, i'd probably build my own house.

black music month video #3

2011-06-06T01:50:00.000-04:00

i happened to catch an episode of unsung the other night that featured miki howard. what a voice. one moment, she was on top of the world and then all of a sudden, she disappeared. i always wondered what happened to her. catch her episode if you can. it was quite the cautionary tale.

there's always something to learn from anyone's life story. maybe that's why i can't stop reading or watching biographies.

here's a preview of the unsung episode -- and one of my favorite miki howard songs, love under new management.

three thousand words

2011-06-05T22:40:00.008-04:00

the gig i had on friday at the lounge in edison ballroom was my idea of a good time -- the top notch band was in fine form, solid and relaxed and fun; the room was elegant and subdued; there was an open bar all night long with fredo ceraso of loungerati at the helm as bartender, so there was way more sitting and listening than there was swing dancing; media noche was a real pint-sized crowd-pleasing knockout, i must say; dj gaylord fields set the mood just right; and i got a chance to stretch out and explore billie holiday's earlier material.

the great news is that there were three photographers present -- joseph ritter who always takes such cool shots at the salon's events and selena, the aussie artist that's leaving in a week (unfortunately). selena and her galpal gill and i managed to take my portrait in front of the ballroom before the gig for a project she's working on, so huzzah for us. (!!!) she also shot video of us -- that was lovely, too...

selena shot the portrait on film, with the marquee above me and lights of times square behind me. can't wait to see what develops!

the third photographer was my permanent boyfriend, of course, who took the shots below. (yep, there's more coming...) enjoy!

oh, and by the way, the lads of joy are: andrew hall on bass, dave berger on drums, matt ray on keys and -- lurking in the shadows to my left, j. walter hawkes on trombone and ukelele.

ps: i'm wearing a bombshell dress by byron lars. (i LOVE his dresses!)

The Proust Questionnaire

2011-06-04T23:55:00.002-04:00

found this iconic little curio online, a fascination of proust -- of course it's now a book, too -- and i was so intrigued by the answers of the famous and iconic, i thought i'd overshare.

what is your idea of perfect happiness? happiness? no, thank you. i'd rather have joy.
what is your greatest fear? at the moment, i honestly can't think of anything that i'm truly afraid of.
which historical figure do you most identify with? an anonymous, nameless, runaway african female slave in america -- the absolute epitome of what it means to be a true rebel. she's the one that would set the kitchen on fire and burn the entire house down. that's why they started building kitchens outside, away from the big house. but i digress...
which living person do you most admire? just about every elderly african-american person i've ever met or have yet to meet.
what is the trait you most deplore in yourself? impatience
what is the trait you most deplore in others? presumptuousness
what is your greatest extravagance? whatever beautifies me. that includes boxing, stuff for my skin like argyan oil and shea butter, and korean day spas. (i have an eyebrowist. 'nuff said.)
on what occasion do you lie? i'd rather not say
what do you dislike most about your appearance? nothing, these days. (oh, wow. i guess i've finally accepted myself for who i am. whoo-hoo!)
when and where were you happiest? too many moments to mention. jumping over that broom -- the moment when we were holding hands in midair, actually -- was definitely one of them. oh, wait. that was joy! (oops...!)
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i would have learned how to think critically a long time ago.
if you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? absolutely nothing. everything is the way God wants it to be -- whether i like it or not.
what do you consider your greatest achievement? surviving nyc as an artist.
if you died and came back as a person or thing, what would it be? i'm not coming back.
what is your most treasured possession? my journals.
what do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? having to live inside the trauma of unaddressed emotional damage for the rest of one's life, free to alternately play the victim and victimize others who are wholly unsuspecting of how warped the person in question truly is.
who are your heroes in real life? mavericks
what is it that you most dislike? anyone who hates themselves so much that they will use the love someone offers them as a weapon against them. (see answer #16)
how would you like to die? however God sees fit.
what is your motto? "Talk doesn't cook rice." - Chinese proverb

black music month video #2

2011-06-03T09:02:00.000-04:00

it suddenly dawned on me that there may be some folks out there who love rock and roll as much as i do, but who don't know of any black female guitarists. *sigh* thankfully, i'm here to help.

meet beverly "guitar" watkins -- from the ATL, steeped in blues and jazz, and a grandma no less! truly one of my all-time favorites.

here she is, burning it down at the winston blues revival in 1999. enjoy!

...oh, and another thing...

2011-06-02T22:35:00.005-04:00

i'm doing nablopomo this month, so expect a post every day. the theme for june is FAN, whatever that means. and nope -- i'm not sure, either.

when i think of fans, a lot of things come to mind. i grew up in the c.o.g.i.c. -- so church, obviously. stans, of course. burlesque dancers, understandably. geishas, for some reason. at the very least, you'll get some super tasty visuals. and maybe if i sift through all this thoroughly enough, i can finally figure out exactly what it is that i'm a fan of.

to tell you the truth, i'm a fan of everything and nothing. as soon as something interesting flips my switch, i almost always seem to find a brighter light someplace else. always and forever onto the next, unless it's something i really love.

that's the $64,000 question: what (or who) do i love?

black music month video #1

2011-06-02T22:16:00.003-04:00

in honor of black music month, here's some black music -- aloe blacc's i need a dollar, a song that's all over a hokey commercial that runs incessantly in every hd supported medium imaginable. what with all the licensing that's getting flung about with this little ditty, here's hoping this brother is finally getting that dollar he so desperately needs.

actually, i suppose what i should hope is that he owns his publishing. but hey -- that's just me.

hello, june!

2011-06-01T10:43:00.001-04:00

june is a very special month for me. first of all, there's juneteenth celebrations to revel in. it's black music month -- but isn't that every month? and yep, it ends with my birthday so i'm determined to find a fun, celebratory moment inside of every single day. i'm giving myself 30 birthday presents. let the games begin!

how cool that things begin with a solar eclipse today -- from what the hippies tell me, this ushers in a fresh, new start. i end the week with a stellar gig at the edison ballroom on 6/3 that should find me all decked out and singing billie holiday's earlier, bouncier, more upbeat material for the better part of the evening. to tell you the truth, i'm still marinating on an idea that's blooming and growing in my head from the performance i did at lenox lounge for the harlem jazz shrines festival in may. more on that later.

in a perfect world, i'd take a whole week this month to mix my next album.

the mermaid parade happens on june 18. that's always a good time. there are the free new york film society movies, of course. probably with daniel carlton. there's weekly sunday songwriting sessions with rawn and jon. really great, to develop those muscles and write and play and sing. and yes, i have to go to the jazz age lawn party and i have to dress up like it's 1920 and i have to enter the pie contest. i just have to. very curious about dances of vice's event powerhouse stomp, probably because i love cartoons so much. (a live orchestra playing 20s hot jazz? i'm there.)

the really exciting news is, i start my unlimited kung fu lessons in chinatown. (and really, how many can i possibly stand, with all the boxing i'm doing every day?)

hm. if i were smart, i'd get to spa castle at least twice this month. and ride my bike everywhere.

with a lunar eclipse on june 15 and another solar eclipse on july 1 (yowza! three eclipses in a month. how often does that happen?), i'm starting to wonder how this will affect the more mundane moments in my world.

oh, i almost forgot.

today's birthday present: day 2 of my detox fast. (un)fortunately, this is too extreme for me. i'm switching to juicing and raw foods. *sigh* i miss boxing...

the next gig -- the lounge at edison ballroom, friday 6/3

2011-05-26T20:21:00.003-04:00

i am so looking forward to this gig! i'll be (mostly) singing songs from billie holiday's earliest recordings with my happy little quartet, the lads of joy, in one of the last great ballrooms in new york city, in the heart of broadway. it's a wonderful excuse for anyone to get glam and lounge. my birthday is on june 30th, and i tend to do something fun every day until my new year sails in. wheeeee!

creatively, i'm still traipsing through the front end of billie holiday's discography after the stellar gig at lenox lounge for the harlem jazz shrines festival in mid may. refining a lot of songs for my next move. stay tuned.

and yes, yes, yes. the price of admission includes top shelf open bar. i mean, yikes! nevermind the hot jazz, the cool burlesque, an emcee that's a dandy, or even a wfmu dj named gaylord. there will be finely crafted cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, all night long -- gratuity included.

see you there!

...and boom goes the black dynamite!

2011-05-14T13:23:00.001-04:00

when the moment came for me to get my body together, i realized that i couldn’t do it unless i had some form of physical excercise that made me especially happy. something i’d look forward to every day. and yes, i think this is true of anyone. remember when you were a little kid and you rode your bike all day long, and you’d come home exhausted and starving? that’s what i’m aiming for: my childhood fun.

it had to be something i could do for the joy of doing it, without thinking about the work and the sweat and the pain that would inevitably happen along the way. for me, that was boxing. i’ve been borderline obsessed with it for about a year or so, and i really love it. i can take unlimited classes through my gym – and because of the flat monthly rate, the more i go, the cheaper everything gets. my body isn’t where i want it to be yet. (my goal is to fit into all of the clothes in my closet – vintage cocktail dresses, skinny jeans and everything else.) but then again i’ve lost weight, i have way more energy and physically my self confidence has shot through the roof.

somewhere in all that pummeling and fist throwing and sparring, i really wanted to take kung fu. i have no idea why. i should probably blame my 70s childhood. you know. david carradine, kung fu the tv series. an endless array of kung fu movies. (i could be wrong, but i think ip man put me over the top.) ultimately, the philosophy behind kung fu made way more sense to me than karate.

regardless, the $60,000 question loomed ever-present, as usual: where would i find the money to take class? i can barely keep up with my student loan payments.

then a few weeks ago, this bloomspot deal popped into my email inbox and it was so cheap, even I_ couldn’t say no. three months unlimited classes in chinatown? _done, done and done.

i’m ready to blast off! it’s going to be a summer of solid workouts, with unlimited boxing and kung fu sessions.

See more progress on: take kung fu lessons

smart beauty!

2011-04-22T11:31:00.000-04:00

over the years, the beauty industry has taught me in no uncertain terms that they simply don't care about me as a black woman. i'm hardly a presence in their ads. my skin tone isn't included in their makeup foundations or powders. when creating cleansers and moisturizers, my specific needs aren't assessed or considered. and i'm not even going to get into what my hair requires in its natural state, and all of the ways that isn't even remotely addressed. i'm simply not accommodated. period.

this is the reason why subconsciously i'm always on the lookout for things that work specifically for me, beautywise. just about every sister i know constantly falls into the habit of interjecting tidbits about something they've discovered that works, no matter how casual or convoluted the conversation happens to be. and it's almost always a big fat wow moment. we're all so excited to find something, for us. clearly, we're behind enemy lines and we're dissecting information and sharing it and passing it along to help each other as best we can. it's like we're in a secret society of some sort. finally coming to terms with the way we look and finding ourselves beautiful on our own terms is a subversive act.

you know what? that's exactly what it is.

to be black and to dare to think of yourself as beautiful is to defy everything that this culture says that you are, that you should be. it's almost as though every single day, every black woman assembles herself visually in her own way and moves forward with this singularity of thought, somewhere in the recesses of her soul. i am beautiful -- not because of you, not in spite of you. i just am.

imagine my surprise when a survey from essence magazine confirmed all of this, and more.

last week, essence presented smart beauty V, which basically gave the beauty industry a glimpse into the mindset of the african-american beauty consumer. they decided to do this by presenting the four archetypes that their survey revealed in the form of four actresses that embodied those ideals. we were placed amongst the audience as they watched the presentation, listened to the panel, had breakfast and took notes. as the descriptions were given, we presented ourselves. to tell you the truth, it felt like performance art. what better way to get your point across than to have it come alive before you. and come alive, we did. it was fun!

here are the four archetypes.

the first is queen bea. her beauty motto: "beauty is a strategy." what does she want? brands with proven results, expert advice and organic and natural ingredients. her quote: "i am always willing to pay a premium for beauty products that have lasting results."

the second is sheree de la sol. her beauty motto: "beauty signals to the world that i have arrived." what does she want? prestige, innovation and anti-aging techniques/products. her quote: "i use my beauty to express that i've made it."

the third is amber b. free. (yep, that was me.) her beauty motto: "beauty is a celebration of me." what does she want? products (preferrably organic) specifically created for me, good price points and value. her quote: "I do not follow beauty trends."

the fourth is jane jones. her beauty motto: "beauty should be simple." what does she want? simplified options, inspiration and guidance. her quote? "i buy fragrances endorsed by celebrities i like."

although the facts they presented definitely raised my eyebrows, one thing was crystal clear: for african-american women, beauty is unconditional.

a whopping 84% of african-american women agreed with the statement, "i think i am a beautiful woman" vs 41% of the general market.
how about this one -- 58% of african-american women agreed with the statement, "i'm always proud of my looks" vs 22% of the general market.
this really blew me away: african-american women spend a whopping $2.6 billion on beauty products. sisters, that is quite a lot of cheddar.

for the life of me, i can't even begin to fully comprehend why white people in this country (and elsewhere, for that matter) don't understand that we live in two completely different worlds culturally and in spite of whatever the media may have you believe, it's fairly bleak on this end of the spectrum -- all the way across the board. most of what's out there in the beauty industry says that i'm not relevant. it doesn't affirm who i am. my response? i refuse to believe them. i go my own way.

still and all, there are more special moments than i'd care to reveal. like traipsing past several beauty counters in greenbriar mall -- arguably the blackest shopping spot in the atl -- and having mpb ask rhetorically why did all of the ads at every counter have white women in them. or slathering on raw shea butter onto my backside in the gym and having some white woman remark to her white friend that if she put any of that grease on her skin, she'd have acne everywhere, and why was i doing that. or approaching a beauty counter and having the makeup expert not have any foundation for me. or not know how to contour my face.

oh, i could go on. but you get the idea.

as we left the w hotel that morning after the event, i murmured to my three compatriots, "i feel a little blacker, ladies. how about you." and they all laughed. because really, we all did. it couldn't be helped. for one bright shining moment, someone stood up and said it, and it all came together beautifully. i think i probably floated to my boxing session, high heels and all.

maybe someday i'll be rich and famous. maybe i won't. who knows. no matter what happens, i'm not going to believe that i've really made it until i'm on the cover of essence.

popcorn, anyone?

2011-04-21T07:22:00.004-04:00

summer is coming, believe it or not -- and that means watching (usually) visually bombastic, (sometimes) mindnumbingly cool, (almost always) fun hollywood pap. and why not? film was meant to be a great escape. it's when you think you know where it's taking you that makes it even more fun than you assumed it was going to be.

this is the stuff i'm looking forward to seeing, in all of it's seemingly innocuous glory.

of course, something in me can't help but pay very close attention as to whether or not any actors of color are in supporting roles. because yes, it matters. statistics have proven time and again that when other cultures and perspectives are included in the storyline by simply having that person of color on screen as a non-stereotype, the powers that be are inadvertently teaching everyone how to get along. and then there's that bottom line, again -- i mean, seriously. don't you want everybody's money?

well, now. thor has idris elba in a co-starring role. 'nuff said. and yes -- for that reason alone, i'll be seeing this one first.

you and your awards

2011-04-13T08:07:00.005-04:00

i fell backwards into this blog entry by esquire writer chris jones and i couldn't climb out. simply put, his sense of entitlement blew me away. even though he'd already won two national magazine awards -- TWO! -- he couldn't stop whining about the one he felt he deserved. at one point, i thought, well at least he's being honest. but this guy is someone who, by his own admission, hasn't had much adversity in his life or his work. basically, he's won with each of his nominations. Lord God. adversity, that's a bigger part of what some of us have ever had. the word "no" is just about all that some of us ever hear. and he's only 36.

if this guy had to be a negro for a month, he'd never make it. hardly a week would go by and he'd probably throw himself out of a window.

awards matter, i suppose. but art is a funny thing. it's rare that an artist can know the impact of their work in their own lifetime. what you do can matter a great deal while you are here. you are rich, you are famous, maybe you get loaded whenever you want. and then you're gone -- and your precious work is a mere mention in an obscure footnote in some book somewhere. just think about all those movie stars from the 1920s, for example. there were gobs of them. i'll bet you can't name ten.

do you know who pola negri is? this chick was a really big deal, back in the day. totally one of my favorites. she was valentino's last girlfriend, a massively popular actress internationally, hollywood's first foreign import (from poland!), a former ballerina, even. and she could sing. she was rich, she was gorgeous. she's definitely got a star on the hollywood walk of fame. and now? well, who knows. the 1920s is making such a big comeback these days. it's only a matter of time until some starlet makes her their template and perhaps she'll burst forth all over again. her work is waiting to be rediscovered -- the thing is that thankfully, she left something worth watching.

i love that line from the end of the movie basquiat, when the artist tells him that the audience for his work probably hasn't even been born yet. or that chuck palahniuk quote: we all die. the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. none of that has anything to do with awards.

a talk given by dr. richard hamming at bell labs gave a talk called you and your research and although it was primarily about science and scientists, he dropped a massive amount of wisdom about process and what it means to challenge yourself and do great work.

...my two cents...

2011-04-09T02:41:00.001-04:00

I have a question.

If the government shuts down, do you think that members of Congress will collect their paychecks anyway? This is something that they get to decide -- why wouldn't they give themselves paychecks? -- and with hours left to spare before the government shuts down, no one seems particularly interested in taking that vote. At first glance, it may seem that, like Cartman, they do what they want but I think they're at the mercy of The Tea Party. Lobbyists. Corporate interests. Bipartisan issues. Blah, blah, blah.

Oy, gevalt.

As I channel surf, listlessly giving lawmakers the side eye as they yammer on and on about policy and constituents and what's best for America, certain things almost always come to mind.

Lawmakers make way more money than I do. Majority and Minority Party Leaders in the Senate and House earn $193,400 annually. The Speaker of the House makes $223,500 annually. Each Representative earns $165,200 annually. A cost of living adjustment happens every year, unless they vote against it. And they can vote for salary increases, too. Don't forget, they've got lots of expenses -- travel, assistants, staff. The final payout can be substantial. Just remember: we're footing the bill.

How much does the average American make? Less than $40,000. Everyone in Congress should be forced to live on that much money -- or our collective salaries should rise to their six figure level to accommodate the cost of living, just as theirs does.

And to think that Benjamin Franklin thought elected government officials shouldn't earn any money from their positions.
As federal employees, members of Congress have access to good health insurance. It's not free, but here's an important thought: When one of them or their family members has cancer or any other debilitating illness, they aren't refused treatment or denied coverage. They can get the care that they need. If Blue Cross/Blue Shield won't handle it, they can also utilize taxpayer-subsidized care at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington and the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. Something to think about, while you watch them go off on each other over the national health care bill.
Members of Congress have paid vacations. They're called non-legislative days. There's quite a few of them in 2011. Last year, all of their time off added up to 23 1/2 weeks. Yikes! That's almost 6 months.

They also have pensions. Think about that. A six figure salary that accommodates the cost of living, health insurance and a pension -- and a paid vacation. This is what teachers should get, not members of Congress.

My solution? Get out of all three wars and stop policing the world, cut the defense budget and tax the rich.

It may not be much, but -- to paraphrase Tony Brown -- that's just one black woman's opinion.

Happy April Fool's Day

2011-04-01T18:34:00.002-04:00

Let's face it -- today's the day that I should probably say something like, "Hey, everybody! I'm pregnant!" What with the way some people in my life have been riding me about having a baby, I should say it in neon. But there's way too many folks out there that would take that remark seriously. And if it got back to my grandmother, that would seriously kill me.

So instead of pulling your collective leg and shanking myself somewhere down the line, here's a lovely card. And yes -- here's hoping someone else gets your goat.

Press Release for The Field's EAR Showcase

2011-03-13T15:31:00.007-04:00

here i sit, running lines and slowly working my way through blocking in my harlem apartment before i head to chelsea in a few hours to rehearse with ken roberson for next week's showcase. i can't believe this residency is almost over. it feels good, shockingly achingly good, to have something meaningful and substantial to show for my time and effort. after this, onto the next -- but what a lovely moment i've had, tromping all the way to the west side through the freezing cold and the filthy snow to a warm emotionally/creatively safe place to explore my freshest ideas and make art.

the press release is below. one performance only. and yes it will get videotaped.

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The Field Emerging Artist in Residency Showcase

Monday March 21st, 7:30pm

The Kitchen, 512 West 19th Street NY, NY

Tickets: $15, advance and at the door

Information and Tickets: www.thefield.org

The Field Emerging Artist Residency showcase proudly presents the performance work of Queen Esther, Maija Garcia/Organic Magnetics, Sara Zimmerman, Josselyn Levinson Dances, Yanghee Lee, Marie Christine Katz and Becky Radway Dance Projects at The Kitchen, Monday March 21st at 7:30pm. These seven unique artists present and array of new work drawing from diverse artistic and cultural backgrounds. The products of an extensive community driven feedback process, these in depth and carefully crafted performance works ranging from contemporary dance, physical theater and performance art promise a thought provoking and compelling evening of new work.

Queen Esther presents a segment from her one person show currently in development, “The Big Payback” – a comedic socio-political romp about reparations, directed by Ken Roberson with music by Jon Diaz. Through sound and vision, storytelling, song and dance, “The Big Payback” takes the viewer through the history of Africans in America as 7 characters – a Japanese-American grandma, a socially downward Harlemite, a jaded Alabama housewife, a Native American tribal leader, a Boston dock worker, an overachieving ATL-ien and a Serbian “dancer” in Brighton Beach – reflect on their disparate yet somehow intertwined experiences and how the idea of reparations has touched each of their lives intimately. Collectively, they speak to the notion of what is owed and to whom and why.

Josselyn Levinson Dances presents an excerpt from her dance theater work “Itemized”. Blurring the line between installation, theater and contemporary dance, “Itemized” explores the affects of materialistic accumulation in our society. Set against a backdrop littered with receipts and a sound score of live text and pop music, “Itemized” asks, how much do we need in order to feel whole?

Sara Zimmerman presents Big Exit, a physical theater performance created in collaboration with Eliza Ladd. The piece is a theatrical love letter to all the human beings who feel stuck in dead end jobs and dream of flight. Big Exit celebrates the strange and beautiful ways imagination and fantasy can lead to escape!

“The three seconds” presented by Yanghee Lee / The Limbo Project, is derived from the vocative effects of displacing the human bodies in one space to another, including the potential effects of their exterior or interior movements. This multi-faceted happening utilizes the elements of sounds from the human bodies, and non-narrative physical movements act as an installation in different formats which are part of the 'accumulation' in time and space. These hybrid associations are encountered for their aesthetic properties, moment to moment, as conceptual signifiers carrying a light of connotations.

Marie Christine Katz’s new work, "Unravel”, invites you to enter into a universe where your imagination weaves together the threads of a different reality.

Becky Radway Dance Projects presents an excerpt of “Palisade”, a new work that encloses the performers in a fully palpable environment by reining them in with audience on opposing sides and a movable fence structure. Delving into the intimate encounters created by this enclosure, the work is filled with tactile investigation, assisted movement, and animalistic exploration.

Majia Garcia’s Organic Magnetics, comprised of artists from Cuba, Trinidad, Mexico, Germany, Nigeria, Japan, Canada and the US, presents “Co-Incidence”. A study of overlapping patterns; an experience of time as a cycle that connects us all by the migration stories of our ancestors. Identifying hidden layers that compose and expose the diverse and complex culture of NYC, “Co-Incidence” asks who we are, where we come from, and how we all ended up here in this melting pot- by force or choice; by boat, train or plane? And what do we do with the stories? Stir it up!

About The Field

Founded by artists for artists, The Field is dedicated to providing strategic services to thousands of performing artists and companies in New York City and beyond. From fostering creative exploration to stewarding innovative fundraising strategies, we are delighted to help artists reach their fullest potential. Now in our 25th year, more than 1,900 performing artists come to The Field each year to build their businesses. Each year 2,000+ new art works are developed under our stewardship, and our services are replicated in 11 cities across the U.S. and Europe. In tandem with this significant growth, we remain true to our grassroots origin and artist- centered mission to: strategically serve the myriad artistic and administrative needs of independent performing artists and companies who work in the fields of dance, theater, music, text, and performance art. Field services include career-building workshops (grant writing, touring, internet strategies, etc.), fiscal sponsorship, creative residencies in New York City and out of town, and Membership benefits. See our different program offerings at www.thefield.org.

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The 2011 Emerging Artists Winter Residency Performances at The Kitchen, 3/21

2011-03-05T11:17:00.008-05:00

This is a showcase for an idea I've been carrying around in the pit of me for way too long -- a one person show about reparations called The Big Payback. Actually, I was actively developing it off and on awhile back but other things rushed in as is often the case in New York City and the project got derailed. The winter residency with The Field was an ideal way to grow this concept all over again.

I shall always be forever grateful for those many rehearsal hours that eagerly awaited me, deep in the heart of West Chelsea. I trudged through the filthy snow in the dark, pushed and shoved along by the wind and sometimes the black ice. Armed with a laptop, a pair of indestructible snowpants and a vivid imagination, I made my way to the safety of a warm incubatory space. Unbelievable, how much of this piece I fleshed out in that room.

I should spend every winter hibernating creatively. It would be worth it, if I could always have results like this.

I always meant to have a live music component but this has evolved to include multimedia, too -- images, video, some interviews maybe -- which really excites me for some strange reason. I really want to be inclusive on this subject and not just go on about 40 acres and a mule because clearly, reparations is a global issue.

Now that I have a wonderful director in Mr. Ken Roberson to steer this project, a rough draft -- and with this performance, a videotaped segment -- this train has finally left the station.

For tickets and more information, please click here.

The Field

Art Grows Here

Serving Performing Artists Since 1986

Emerging Artist Residency Showcase

Presented by The Field

Monday, March 21st

7:30pm

The Kitchen

512 West 19th Street

between 10th and 11th Avenues

TICKETS:

$15

In Advance with Visa or Mastercard

or Cash at the door

Join us for an evening of works-in-progress as the Winter 2011 Emerging Artist Residents harvest their creative crop...

Artists include:

Queen Esther

Maija Garcia

Sara Zimmerman

Josselyn Levinson

Yanghee Lee

Marie Christine Katz

Becky Radway Dance Projects

Workshops facilitated by Susan Oetgen

there's no such thing as a post-racial society

2011-02-19T08:57:00.006-05:00

if you're so detached from reality that you honestly believe that we as a nation are living in a post-racial society, then anything i have to say probably won't change your mind. perhaps you live in an international city that's especially segregated (and racist!), like los angeles. maybe you don't know any black people. i don't mean the guy at work that chats with you at the water cooler, or those nice africans you talk to over coffee after church. i mean an ongoing relationship that would ultimately dispel a lot of myths and give some insight as to what's actually going on around here. perhaps you're on some sort of cultural sedative -- the kind that has you whole-heartedly believing whatever the media force feeds you, not necessarily because you're daft but because you really want that claptrap to be true.

or you know what. none of this means anything to you because your life pretty much flows like an episode of friends or sex and the city -- people of color are background talent in your (new york city!) life. occasionally, some negro walks through the frame on his way somewhere. or he makes you a latte, or a cocktail, or a sandwich. or he has sex with you. and that's about it.

the system that this country is based upon is designed to give me every disadvantage as a person of color. ignoring this simple fact about how america works doesn't mean that race is irrelevant. it means that you're deluding yourself. and that's fine, i suppose. apparently, you can afford to wear blinders. i can't.

help me, someone said to me recently -- a dirty white boy of epic proportions, a borderline hipster. smart, well-intentioned and lost, lost, lost. not surprisingly, he said it with feeling. he had just made a remark to a few of us that made one sister gasp involuntarily. i think he was genuinely embarassed.

i laughed in his face. save yourself, i said. but i find it difficult to ignore someone when they're drowning right in front of me, so i threw him a line and gave him a book to read.

i'll let you know how he's doing from time to time. until that next sunny dispatch, here's a glimpse of his required reading list.

White Like Me: Reflections on Race From a Privileged Son by Tim Wise
Toms, Coons, Mammies, Mulattoes and Bucks: An Interpretive History of Blacks in American Film by Donald Bogle
When and Where I Enter: The Impact of Black Women on Race and Sex in America by Paula Giddings
The Price of the Ticket by James Baldwin
Racism Without Racists: Color-Blind Racism and the Persistence of Racial Inequality in the America by Eduardo Bonillo-Silva

another one?

2011-02-08T22:22:00.002-05:00

here's the trailer for the green lantern -- another hollywood big budget popcorn masterpiece. frankly, i'm shocked that it isn't in 3-d.

i have no idea why i don't love ryan reynolds as much everyone else does. this movie probably won't change my mind but the special effects look awe-inspiring -- and there'll probably be enough sassy one-liners to hold my interest if the script sucks.

did you know that the green lantern from the non-comic books -- the one in the cartoons who hung out in the justice league in the 80s -- was a black man named john stewart? when it was time to make the movie, fans of the chartreuse superhero were left bitching, uh, i mean wondering why they put a white guy in the on-screen role. or so says my permanent boyfriend, who knows such things because lives deep in the geek forest, in a mancave filled with comic books and beer. oh, but don't believe him -- this trailer tells the entire history of the green lantern, in so much high brow supernerdy detail, it's actually a little weird.

here's a thought: if they're really going to troll through every comic book ever written to make movies, when are they going to bring black lightning to the masses?

this looks promising...

2011-02-07T21:58:00.000-05:00

...and by promising, i mean not crappy. who wouldn't want to see where it all began? here's the new x men:first class trailer. enjoy.

writing and writing and writing

2011-02-06T22:07:00.003-05:00

i was working with ken on some rewrites at the workspace in chelsea tonight and he starts improvising around this one idea, just verbalizing intent and ideas and bits of things that we'd been discussing about entitlement and white people. i don't know why but something took off in me, running. hard and fast. i almost literally exploded in another direction. i stood there in the middle of the rehearsal space scribbling, while he went off. i couldn't write fast enough. it was astonishing, how effortless all of it was, how the words swung out of the pit of me, how what ken said had me bouncing in a thousand different directions, all of it oozing out of the tip of my pen.

it was almost as though i were in some sort of trance. not thinking, not feeling. instinctively shifting something inside me again and again and letting more and more out.

there was a time when i couldn't remember when i had moments like those as a playwright. now they're coming hard and fast, all the time. for this, i am truly grateful.

now back to my rewrites.

busy signals

2011-02-05T14:10:00.000-05:00

up to my neck in rewrites, lyrics, rehearsals, boxing conditioning sessions and editing work. and of course, the spring cleaning never ends. the rpm challenge awaits me. i've got some good ideas. blah, blah, blah.

everything is working itself out, though. i can't remember the last time i practiced the piano -- and out of nowhere, i almost threw away the phone number for a piano teacher i found on craigslist.

would you like some tequila lime sorbet?

2011-02-04T10:26:00.000-05:00

i'm making a batch of this yummy goodness tomorrow. it's so good, i thought you should have some, too.

tequila lime sorbet

you need:

sugar
water
lime juice
lime zest
tequila
an ice cream machine (preferrably electric)

that's it!

here's what you do:

make simple syrup -- put this in a saucepan on low, let it dissolve.

one cup sugar
one cup water

then add one cup of fresh squeezed lime juice to the dissolved hot simple syrup, pulp and all. put in two tablespoons of lime zest. stir this, make sure everything is dissolved and totally liquid, then let it cool to room temperature and then refrigerate it for TWO HOURS.

after TWO HOURS, yank it out and put 4 tablespoons of tequila in it. stir carefully, then pour all of it into an ice cream maker for 30 minutes. after 30 minutes, take it out and put it in the freezer. leave it there overnight for best results -- but it should be ready in TWO HOURS, at least.

eat up and think of me...

shirley chisholm, we need you

2011-02-03T09:16:00.000-05:00

i keep forgetting that it's black history month because as far as i'm concerned, that's every month. so i'm going to do what i usually do and go on and on about whatever amazing negro pops into my head. today is no exception.

ah, shirley chisholm -- the first black woman elected to congress, the first major party black candidate to run for president and the first woman to run for the democratic presidential nomination. she was also an educator and an author, and (in my opinion) a gifted orator. if you haven't seen the 2005 documentary shirley chisholm: unbought and unbossed, you are missing out on something truly spectacular: the awesome visual of a black woman, unflinching and surrounded by hippies, feminists, young voters -- with presence and poise, an absolute powerhouse -- as she delivers the goods.

here's the trailer for the documentary.

...and here's a few wise words from mrs. chisholm herself.

a break in the ice

2011-02-02T13:13:00.001-05:00

yeah, so...

once i got the winter 2011 emerging artist residency through the field in december, i thought that would be more than enough until the end of the season. there's a lot of work involved. we have weekly meetings, i have weekly rehearsals, and there are consultations and talks to consider, along with a final performance at the kitchen on march 21. january found me trudging through chelsea's west side in the snow and freezing cold to the warmth of an open studio space and fresh ideas, to flesh out whatever was inside me. i spent my days buried in rewrites and running lines aloud in our harlem apt to bounce them around and make them come alive somehow, leaving the house for twice daily boxing sessions, church and occasionally groceries. my self-imposed lockdown was complete.

nevermind the fact that i have to finish recording and mixing my black country rock album, that i've got the "billy meets billie" project in february at the university of the streets to rehearse for or the salon's anniversary bash at the edison ballroom in early march. i'll get to those tidbits later.

the thing is, i had every intention to stay in lockdown until my father's birthday in march. but inspiration is a funny thing. it can't be partitioned off or legistated or controlled. once something triggers it, it simply flows. in the best of circumstances -- that is, if i get out of the way and don't undo things -- it keeps flowing. once the ideas started to run over me from one project, they started to spill onto everything else.

i'm not afraid to fall through the ice and drown. thanks to my time in nyc as an outsider, i know how to swim very well. there may be an undertow, but that's to be expected when the pull is this strong.

if you've been reading this blog, you already know this -- so for the uninitiated and/or uninformed, here's something you should know about me as an artist.

i'm not a replicator. i'm an originator. that means most of the work i do comes from what i create. everyone that calls themselves an artist doesn't do these things. as a matter of fact, most of the creative folk i know patiently wait by the phone for it to ring so they can make a living. for most of them, developing and executing their own ideas is unthinkable -- for lots of reasons, not the least of which is that they don't have any ideas in the first place. needless to say, fear of so many things -- one's own potential, for example -- can sometimes play a stronger part than anyone would care to imagine. but i digress.

i'll tell you what i'm working on later. for now, all i can say is that i'm working. hard.

yep

2011-02-01T14:07:00.004-05:00

at the moment, i'm listening to murder ballads, making lists and having a naked protein shake, and messing with garageband. (i'm definitely taking a mac workshop to figure this out. if i do it on my own, it'll take forever.) my boyfriend, a really old danelectro guitar, is within easy reach. it's time for the rpm challenge -- i'm going to write an album in a month. to tell the truth and shame the devil, i've already got the songs. they're in bits and pieces all over the place, in various books i scribble lyrics and stuff into at random. it'll probably be the next americana album -- but there's some other stuff i have in mind, too. i'll put it up, but God knows if i want anyone to actually hear it.

i'm still pissed that i overslept and missed my first boxing session. the next one is at 6:45pm. someone is getting pummeled tonight. and it's not going to be me.

it's going to be a busy month -- with babies! -- so i'm going to blog every day of it. this month's theme on nablopomo is CHARACTER, whatever that means. of course, i'm working on a script or two, so there's plenty of characters there. and there's the fiber of one's being to consider, i suppose. we'll see where all of it takes me.

it's the dead of winter. what a beautiful time to make art.

the flow of things

2011-01-21T08:50:00.005-05:00

this is the trajectory.

i get out of the house as soon as i can, preferrably before 9am. it's frightfully cold. i zip to 18th street, drop off some goat soup to vito, hit up the container store for these under the counter baskets for my bathroom sink and my kitchen, then go to the apple store on the upper west side to take care of business, which doesn't take as long as i thought it would.

i run all the way back to harlem, to an at-home rehearsal with jon diaz for a solo show idea i'm growing in my winter residency about reparations called the big payback. a part of the reason why jon is so fantastic is because nothing i throw at him is ever out of bounds. i've got beef marinating for stew. as we rehearse, i cook it down while jon polishes off the last of that goat soup, which is shockingly good. he's never had goat before, but he says he'll try anything once. good man, that jon.

by the time i leave the house again, the stew is on a low boil on the back of the stove. over the course of the rest of my day, i will think about it periodically and wonder if i haven't burned down our apartment.

i actually make it to a boxing class -- on time. i push myself hard. my teacher, who is a total eastern european junk yard dog, is suitably pleased. afterwards, i stand under the shower and exfoliate my skin into oblivion. then i sit in the steam room until every ache in my backside disintegrates into nothingness. this is probably the best part of my day. maybe because when things are physical, i can see and feel the progress i make. although it's pretty obvious that i'm way better than i was when i first picked it up, and jon is so encouraging, i don't feel as though i'm making progress on guitar. i'm sure that i am because i'm playing. boxing is different. my body is reacting more and falling into position with less effort -- and my thinking while i fight is less deliberate. there's a flow to things. my stamina is increasing. i can last longer.

no wonder boxing makes me so happy.

i get home by 11pm. my permanent boyfriend had dinner with one of his best pals -- a guy i openly refer to as his girlfriend -- and he's sitting on the couch, having a glass of wine and watching the daily show. the place smells amazing. i tuck myself under his arm, against his chest and suddenly, i'm exhausted. but i can't go to sleep. instead of wine, i opt for coffee. after he goes to bed, i sit up and work on rewrites for an hour or more. clearly, i've got work to do.

...and that's my day.