tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9912774.post114472554100089906..comments2023-10-24T10:45:07.876-04:00Comments on Kudzu, Mon Amour: "Marriage Is For White People"Queen Estherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07524984418016215108noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9912774.post-1144948882232908152006-04-13T13:21:00.000-04:002006-04-13T13:21:00.000-04:00PS: hey, antoine -- here's a short article about a...PS: hey, antoine -- here's a short <A HREF="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aia/part4/4p2956.html" REL="nofollow">article about antebellum slavery</A> that i thought you'd find interesting.Queen Estherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524984418016215108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9912774.post-1144947171647814542006-04-13T12:52:00.000-04:002006-04-13T12:52:00.000-04:00I think the observation that most troubled adolesc...I think the observation that most troubled adolescents come from single parent homes is a clear answer to Alice Dunbar-Nelson's question. Well-salaried women should marry if they plan to raise children. If we all lived in tight-knit communities and could count on others to stay home and lovingly watch our children for us, then marriage might be less necessary.<BR/><BR/>I don't believe that women choose not to get married because they can't find men who can give them the true benefits of marriage, "his character and his caring." In my opinion, the single mother who stated that women just didn't want to give up their freedom is being more honest about it. I think that's selfish and short sighted. Both spouses should gladly give up their tiny individual freedoms to forge something greater than themselves. And I do mean gladly, because an angry marriage may as well not exist.<BR/><BR/>The real tragedy is that many black women who raise sons on their own are inadvertently raising a generation of black males who are incapable of becoming good husbands. They've learned that they can never meet a wife's needs, so why bother. As one interviewee points out, not even Jesus Himself has what it takes to match her marital criteria. And, sadly, the daughters of these women will feel the same way.<BR/><BR/>Marriage is for families. Marriage is the only viable way for us to create a strong future.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9912774.post-1144939986182387432006-04-13T10:53:00.000-04:002006-04-13T10:53:00.000-04:00i don't have any kids, i've never been married and...i don't have any kids, i've never been married and i'm thinking about finishing a master's degree in the next few years and buying property -- so yeah, she's definitely talking to me on this one, and quite a few of my friends.<BR/><BR/>i think that too often, though, what we know of slavery isn't what's researched but what's generally understood to be true. the quote that you disagreed with -- "a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today" -- isn't an arbitrary statement by the author of the article but one that was made by a credible sociologist. it sounds far-fetched, i suppose, but i think that it's entirely plausible. the fact is, the slaves were much more subversive than submissive, even if that subversion of the system took the form of maiming yourself or your child so that you would both stay put -- or, in the real-life case of beloved, killing your children, rather than having them taken away from you and brutalized by a slave master.<BR/><BR/>you should read oshinsky's "worse than slavery" for some eye-opening revelations about slavery and reconstruction. frightfully sobering stuff.Queen Estherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524984418016215108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9912774.post-1144906536038355312006-04-13T01:35:00.000-04:002006-04-13T01:35:00.000-04:00Being a black male myself who not only doesn't wan...Being a black male myself who not only doesn't want to have kids, but also never get married, I agree with some of the things that were said within this article.One thing that I don't agree with though is the following:<BR/><BR/>"a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today."<BR/><BR/>I could be wrong here, but weren't families often separated during slavery? I mean, isn't this the reason why composing black family trees is so difficult?<BR/><BR/>Also, most of the runnaway slaves were males. Running away with children was very difficult, which is why while most males attempted to run away by themselves. Females didn't have such abilities since they had more of a duty to their kids thus making running away almost impossible.<BR/><BR/>You've really peaked my interest with this post.<BR/><BR/>:)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.com